(no subject)
it's still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that i've found someone who wants to be mine
& not just a someone, but a someone who from first glance i wanted to belong to
it's scary to know that a large percentage of my happiness is because of that someone
& it's hard to believe that a large percentage of his happiness stems from me...
i don't believe it.
half of me feels like you're wasted on me
i feel very ordinary most of the time
you're so proud that i've read mishima
& can intimately discuss natsume souseki
& shoot film photography
& can speak japanese
but i don't know
these are just normal things...
& all of these things
don't make me more beautiful
i am aware of how shallow i am
i am aware that what first attracted me so deeply was your looks
& i feel somewhat guilty about that
& burdened by the fact that my physical appearance doesn't equal to yours in the sense of attractiveness
& i feel a gap between us & i want to close it but i don't know how
but then there's times where i can stop thinking so much
when i'm just enjoying time with you
& enjoying how well we mesh together
how well our brains seem to work together
& understanding how much respect we have for each other
& how there is a whole lot being said without words
& if i turn off my thoughts for just one second & look at you
& look at us
then i can hear it all