everything. really everything cuz i had to hide it in the other journal
so...yeah. i like lisa. a lot. and she just got back together with jake which sucks so much. cuz i was so happy before tonight when we chilled. because she kept calling it a date, and even though i knew it wasn't, it made me happy. and i know that she said she wants, or wanted, to like me. i don't know if she's ready for anything more than what she and jake had, which was just sex. (this makes me sound like ross and i hate it) but i really don't know, because when i think of like a boyfriend and girlfriend i don't think about all the great sex they have, i think of like a perfect day. like wake up and go for a picnic or hiking or something and then like spend a day in the park walking around holding hands and feeding the ducks. or something equally romantic. but that's just me. and i know that she's not going to like me cuz she's too superficial, and clearly i'm not hot enough. and i'm kinda glad i'm not, it lets me see how people really feel about me. but i really don't know what i'm supposed to do about lisa, i like her so much, and she and jake are back together for i don't know how long. and i'm so sad. i don't know what to do.