(no subject)

[paint_my_starrs]

well... that was an interesting adventure.
i can't wait for the day when my mind settles on at least one thing.
ben has been gone for almost 2 months now, and I'm okay.
he's more like a distant brother.
it's hard not seeing his car next to mine when i'm out of work, ready to go for a drive.
but i'm dealing. we still talk often enough so i know he's still alive.

so now there's toria.
she's alyse's ex- fiancee; they broke up over a month ago.
we've become super close lately, by complete accident.
i'm not sure if i actually want anything label-worthy with her.
but she's the change i've been looking for and so much more.
she's Pagan, and has helped me get back into my Wiccan practices.

i feel like i finally found that missing piece i've been searching for in vain for the past few years.
i may still be ready to run, but i'm now content with waiting until it's meant to happen.
for whatever reason, i'm here. so there must be a reason.
i'm more comfortable with myself than i've ever been.
i may even tell my father...
but could he handle the double sting of finding out his daughter is a lesbian witch?
the thought is almost laughable, if his reaction wasn't so scary...

I quit Spencer's (again) and replaced it with Body Arts, a little kiosk selling body jewelry.
Still at Bear Factory and Head Start.
Maybe if I stopped spending so much money on weed, I'd be able to afford my own place...