(no subject)
It's been nothing but a downward spiral for the past couple weeks.
I'm used to the emotional roller coaster.
But not this...
I'm so sick of pretending to be happy.
I recently fell for this girl who is high 90% of the time.
I've always sworn to not let drugs be a part of my life.
I gave up a lot to become who I am today.
I've come to grips with the people I regret losing.
But she's... I don't know.
Her name is Courtney.
And there's just something about her...
I feel like a hypocrite.
I've walked away from people and I've forced them out of my life.
And now I'm pulling her in?
It's bullshit.
But there's just something about her...
And I'm a bloody idiot.
I'm getting a new car.
Minnesota in June for a week.
Then California in August...
I wish someone would just tell me what to do.
I feel utterly lost and alone.
And I have no where and no one to turn to,
Because there's nothing to talk about.
I'm used to the emotional roller coaster.
But not this...
I'm so sick of pretending to be happy.
I recently fell for this girl who is high 90% of the time.
I've always sworn to not let drugs be a part of my life.
I gave up a lot to become who I am today.
I've come to grips with the people I regret losing.
But she's... I don't know.
Her name is Courtney.
And there's just something about her...
I feel like a hypocrite.
I've walked away from people and I've forced them out of my life.
And now I'm pulling her in?
It's bullshit.
But there's just something about her...
And I'm a bloody idiot.
I'm getting a new car.
Minnesota in June for a week.
Then California in August...
I wish someone would just tell me what to do.
I feel utterly lost and alone.
And I have no where and no one to turn to,
Because there's nothing to talk about.