i've been thinking. so hard.
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i know nobody reads this. i know a lot of people don't really know me. I honestly didn't care for LJ this year and I remember when i used to be obsessed. I also remember..my past.
nobody knows but i suffer. i'm not that depressed girl twenty four seven but the problem is..I let all of my feelings in and I have been for almost 3 years. It hurts, it fucking hurts.
I try talking to my family and they aren't help. And my friends? ohmygoodness, nessa has none! Well okay, maybe I do but they aren't one of those friends that I can hang out with. They have their own friends. I have some internet friends and i am SO thankful for them but i hate putting all of my drama on them, like they already don't have enough!
so i look at other girls who are so drop-dead gorgeous and natural and i'm like.."what do they have?" they act like they have nothing. I know everyone has problems. No one is perfect. I'm not going to die..but I feel like why should i be depressed? I'm not in a bad situation, it's just that I hate struggling. I want to be happy again.
sigh, it's not that easy. Maybe the new year will bring happiness?
Because 2009 was the WORST year of my life.
I sound so emo, I know.
You know what else i have been thinking about? How much i have changed. I have grown up and i have learned who i am. I recently have been thinking about my old friends. I lost so many. I can count about 10. It hurts me so fucking much. In 2008, I lost a good friend of mine and it hurt me to pieces. How would you feel losing one of your BEST friends? We joined a forum and she was like soooo like me and we've been talking for awhile but then i had mess it up. -sigh-
The forum i'm on is MileyFans.net. It's amazing. I've been on for 3 years and I can't imagine leaving..I will eventually but i don't know when. I met SO many people and lost most..it sucks.
but oh well.
i shouldn't keep bring myself down.
i do it so easily. like this stupid damn site omegle.com ? you talk to strangers and shit and so i gave this guy my fb link where he can only see my default (my profile is private) and he said "you're fat."
sad.
oh well, it's true anyway.
^^^
oops, see?!??!
so im going to leave it to there.
whoever reads this,
i love you soo much!!!
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MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR OR AKA HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!