Tired

[paint2bme]

I'm tires of just making ends meet. I'm so very unimpressed with the idea that I haven't gotten a raise in over 3years. I work hard and do my job well. I can barely afford to pay what little I do to contribute to my family. I pay my student loans and for daycare. That's it. I bought groceries this week and now can't afford daycare this week.

Comments

[paulignatiusrex]

I feel the same way. We bought a house with a mortgage lower than our rent was and we have a well, so no water bill, but some how I feel like we're just squeaking by. Actually we were both a bit nervous after the kitten's vet bills hit us and we're just catching back up now. Granted the new house is part of the reason we're not where I'd call "safe" we did over do the renovations a bit... (Now I feel guilty...) still, I keep looking forward and I'm just having trouble seeing the end of it all, when the credit cards are paid off, the checking account has plenty in it and we're saving again. I hate being in that PLACE. I like being where I can mentally "see" the end of something, like my credit card being paid off, or when we'll be done with the renovations, or when we've got the mortgage paid off. I can't really see any of it and it scares me. Heather also took a bit of a pay cut to get her Fridays off again so she can paint (her work used to go from Mon-Thurs but they bumped it up a day with no pay raise). It didn't seem like it would impact things, but it really has. I've been at my job for a year and I'm hoping that I there's a good raise coming, though I'm not holding my breath. My supervisor told me he didn't get his first raise until he'd been here for three years(!). To make things worse, the other designer here left (well, he was given 60-days to find a new job and did so in three...) and now it's just me, doing both our work-loads. I haven't seen any signs of them trying to replace my co-worker either...

I think the worst thing about all this is that all I want to do is build guitars. THAT'S IT. It's the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing at night. Thing is I can't see how to get there. Heather and i talked about me going to a four-day week after the new year, but I don't see it happening. With the debt we've got now I don't think we can afford it and with my coworker gone I doubt my employer will be as willing to let me. A guitar takes a month to build working 40+ hours a week, if I use the free time I've got now to build I'll be averaging one instrument a year if I'm lucky and that stinks. Yes, it's better than zero, but in a way not really. It's hard to build skills when the last time you performed a task was a year ago. I keep trying to figure out how to just go solo and make it, and again, I can't SEE IT! I go over it i my mind again and again and I jsut can't make it work. :-(

I've never been so happy and frustrated (at the same time) in my entire life!

Sorry to rant there, but you hit the nail on the head for me there. I hope things improve for you soon! I miss you.

-Paul