omg
So tonight I caught someone trying to break into my bedroom window. I was sitting in my living room, my rmie had just gone to bed. I went to the bathroom and came out and saw a man trying to crawl into my window. I screamed and yelled what the hell are you doing. I had just cut up a plank and had put it into my bedroom wondow to prop it to only open a certain amount the other day. The very next day this happens. Thankfully it was there, cause otherwise he would have been in real fast. I called the police. But I am scared shitless now. The window is closed and locked now, the police have come and gone. Yet I am up and can't sleep. I'm pretty shooken up. My boyfriend is going to come down tomorrow, but I wish he was here tonight. I won't be able to sleep. I keep listening in case I hear something.
The feeling of invasion, insecurity, it all is washing over me, making my heart pound. Filled with fear. I hate this feeling.
tomorrow I'm calling the landlord. I want bars on my window. I want to feel safe.
I had just begun to feel safe. Just getting used to the apartment. It's going to be a while before that happens again. it will start with bars. But even then I'm afraid.
I hate the city. I can't wait to get out of here.
Well.. its a sleepless night.
All I can do now is wait until my boyfriend gets here and makes me feel safe. Cause this all alone stuff, I don't want to deal with it. Fear of my safe place, I don't want to do that alone.
Here I go.. trying to be the brave person. I play that part so well for everyone else. This has shoken me up. I won't and can't do it. That feeling of being watched and preyed upon.
With the continuous problems with my stepfather, his recent visit to the hospital and their jerking him around. All of it is bubbling up and I just don't want to deal anymore. I don't know how much longer I can.
The feeling of invasion, insecurity, it all is washing over me, making my heart pound. Filled with fear. I hate this feeling.
tomorrow I'm calling the landlord. I want bars on my window. I want to feel safe.
I had just begun to feel safe. Just getting used to the apartment. It's going to be a while before that happens again. it will start with bars. But even then I'm afraid.
I hate the city. I can't wait to get out of here.
Well.. its a sleepless night.
All I can do now is wait until my boyfriend gets here and makes me feel safe. Cause this all alone stuff, I don't want to deal with it. Fear of my safe place, I don't want to do that alone.
Here I go.. trying to be the brave person. I play that part so well for everyone else. This has shoken me up. I won't and can't do it. That feeling of being watched and preyed upon.
With the continuous problems with my stepfather, his recent visit to the hospital and their jerking him around. All of it is bubbling up and I just don't want to deal anymore. I don't know how much longer I can.