A flash from the past.
According to my journal, I have not posted something in 60 weeks.
I feel as a person i have changed greatly, even sometimes to the extent that there is no past for me.
Its a sad thought, but really --entertaining it becomes more and more real.
I guess when you become an adult the objective is to forget everything, stop smiling and relaxing,
and get to work. Dont goof off, its immature. Dont sleep in, Its irresponsible. Dont waste time on leizure.
Its lazy. Dont prioritize social events at the top of your living pyramid. Its adolescent.
Instead put productivity at the top of the list, push push push. Get a car and a job, those two things spell absolute self awareness. and dont spend your money on things like outings or clothing or toys, as a matter of fact dont spend it at all- save it up and get yourself an apartment, begin adult cycle. have babies, get married, die.
I miss the swingset and the rain drops I miss the distant yelling of my mother to get inside before it storms real bad, and the option to ignore it and get soaked.
I miss the feeling of the rain pouring out on my skin, such an amazing feeling.
The sound of thunder shaking my heart, filling me with fear and excitement.
Lightning pushing me further into the rain.
I miss the people who knew me as that girl. And for their sake i wish i was her again.
Careless enough to jump into creeks with no excuse. Clothes still on.
Careless enough to sing out in the rain, forget who was watching.
Careless enough to have people fall in love, but not know or care what it meant, yet still remain friends with them.
I feel depressed today. Like i dont exist. Like everything i do is for no true reason.
I want to have my adulthood already so im not stuck in limbo.
Because no one likes it when it rains , and you cant go outside to play.