Quit metalwave
Today I quit Metalwave.
Metalwave was important because it was a great idea filled with next level musicians. Why did I quit?
Many reasons
First was that since I joined the band I felt that the other band leader didn't like my drumming style. He wanted it more metal. James said what I was doing was fine, and initially the idea for the band was to do the songs on drums exactly like the original bands can do. I can do that, but I am not a metal drummer. I can blast beat, I can do lots of double kicks no problem, but I am not a metal drummer. More industrial and glam, but really... I just do whatever I want to and try to make it fit. It didn't fit with Metalwave, and thats fine. I spent 1 or 2 hours a day on drums getting ready for shows, and I got better than I've ever been. Still wasn't enough. Thats ok, because it doesn't leave any "what if" questions in my head. I know the answer. I was not a good fit for the band musically.
I quit because James is mad that I accepted the Numbers gig. This is gonna be a huge show, nearly 300 people have responded online, Numbers might be packed out. I don't regret accepting the show. The nuance is that Metalwave was supposed to be on there, but both Metalwave and Temple of Mercy were kicked off at the same time. I got a call two weeks ago asking if I'd like to be in the show and I said yes. I didn't solicit for it, but it's the dream gig I've wanted for 6 years. I'm not going to say no. This is my moment.
I also was concerned about touring. James can tour. Garrick can tour. I can tour. The others... maybe... not. A big European tour is every young musicians dream, its unattainable, it's... how you know you made it. I had those opportunities, but I'd have to eat shit and deal with resentment, or tolerance of others. No. But I think the others won't be able to do those big European tours because of their demanding day jobs. 2, possibly 3. Nearly half the band. This means, to me, shows are limited.
I got yelled at, a lot. In a 50 minute phone call I was confirmed of all my fears, and suspicions about the band. Only 2 out of 5 people approved of me. In the beginning I was catching up on my drumming since I fell off for about 3 years. I caught up. Still wasn't enough....What really burns me is that on the album, my drums were replaced. All those hours I spent refining a drum pattern that told a story were lost to random fills, and .. not me. I've been in bands where they started programming drums instead of having me play them, and its a death knell. It's a giant red flag that can't be ignored, because I would be kicked out afterward, and.. to sound vain.. it WAS to the detriment of the band. I say that because they ended up doing nothing afterward, and the drummer who replaced me would quit on them again, like he did before other shows. It was a waste of everyones time. It's like a relationship that should have ended but no one had the courage to say, "this isn't working out".
To make it simple, it was time for me to go. I was cursed out, I received angry messaged attacking me personally and... I think it is for the best. I think when things have cooled down everything will be ok, and the fact I acted professional even though I was not met with it, will really shine through.
I left because it was needed, and overdue. I didn't want to leave the dreams of playing Europe, but was it ever going to happen? Could half the band play the shows? Would my drums still be an issue?
I think I did my best, and it was good but not what they wanted. I feel no regrets, I did my best, and did my homework. I can sleep easy.
Either way, I want more time with my future wife, and more time with my own band, the Temple, which has some momentum at this point.
Who knows if the momentum will hold, but if it does it is nice. Either way, I just want music to be fun. I don't care about making it big anymore. I'm already on 1 international album