Cancer
I hate cancer. It's taken away my mom from me. I feel like she put all the hard work into making me not be a massive pile of shit, but she never got to see me actually be the man she wanted me to be.
My fiance has lost a tooth and... to be short, she might have oral cancer. She's been exposed to Chernobyl radiation so cancer is a serious concern. They test for it all the time over there.
This is the only woman I've loved this much, please... Just... don't. I need her happy and healthy. If it comes down to it, and if she's willing, I'll put my life on hold and move there to take care of her. I would very much rather not as I remember taking care of my mom and it fucking crushed me inside for a long, long time.
Don't. Please, don't.
I'm looking at my own text and realizing some people do not post this to the internet, they say these same things in prayer in the hopes or mental peace that what they do will help in any form, even in consolation.
It's all coping mechanisms and I guess this is mine since LiveJournal is dead and no one will read this. It's an actual journal now, and these are my wishes and thoughts.
Please let this be a thing I forget about because it wasn't an issue.