(no subject)
i really wanna go back to school.
Monday through Friday suck and the weekends really arent that much better. I feel like I have given up the rest of my childhood and have officially grown up. I have NO fun. I wake up at noon or one because i dont want to have to sit around and do jack shit all day and remind myself that i know NO ONE here and have NO ONE to hang out with.
Until June 9th, possibly later, i am stuck here because i have to pick my brother up every day at 2:30 so its not even like i can go and spend the day at home and hang out with people b/c its an hour drive one way and i have to get back here for my brother.
I feel myself slowly slipping into a really annoying, nagging depression. I am trying to tell myself that it will get better and that when my mom and brother are out of school it will get better but who the hell am i kidding... once my mom gets out, she is never gonna let me go anywhere or do anything, MAYBE once in awhile. And when she does let me do something, its going to be so few and far between, and so monitored and limited that i am going to want to kill myself.
I have almost come to the point that I dont care. I am not even going to pick up the phone and call people to hang out. I am just going to let the summer drag by and pray that school comes before i get a gun license. i was becoming SO HAPPY and things were going well. School was moving along, i kind of knew what i wanted to do, i was having fun and making friends and getting to know people and everything was starting to look up. Leave it to her to find something that SHE wants that is going to completely uproot the rest of the family.
ARGH!!!!
okay im done
Monday through Friday suck and the weekends really arent that much better. I feel like I have given up the rest of my childhood and have officially grown up. I have NO fun. I wake up at noon or one because i dont want to have to sit around and do jack shit all day and remind myself that i know NO ONE here and have NO ONE to hang out with.
Until June 9th, possibly later, i am stuck here because i have to pick my brother up every day at 2:30 so its not even like i can go and spend the day at home and hang out with people b/c its an hour drive one way and i have to get back here for my brother.
I feel myself slowly slipping into a really annoying, nagging depression. I am trying to tell myself that it will get better and that when my mom and brother are out of school it will get better but who the hell am i kidding... once my mom gets out, she is never gonna let me go anywhere or do anything, MAYBE once in awhile. And when she does let me do something, its going to be so few and far between, and so monitored and limited that i am going to want to kill myself.
I have almost come to the point that I dont care. I am not even going to pick up the phone and call people to hang out. I am just going to let the summer drag by and pray that school comes before i get a gun license. i was becoming SO HAPPY and things were going well. School was moving along, i kind of knew what i wanted to do, i was having fun and making friends and getting to know people and everything was starting to look up. Leave it to her to find something that SHE wants that is going to completely uproot the rest of the family.
ARGH!!!!
okay im done