(no subject)

[paincausedscars]

Well...everything is just falling apart. I know i've said that before. And I feel like this time..I mean it. My grandma just signed all the papers to not give her life support or to recesitate her. And they are sending my mom home so she can die in the comfort of her home. And I've never been this so out of control. I feel like I've lost everything that was absolutly important to me. I know they aren't gone yet, but I have lost everything. I feel like theres nothing left for me to do. I fell like I'm nothing now. I know thats not true, but why do I feel like that then? I'm not alright. I've done nothing but cry. Amelia came over today and attempted to teach me to knit, but my mind was somewhere else. I kinda feel bad because I wasn't really all that talkative, and usually when me and Amelia get together, we don't stop talking. We went to Hometown buffet and ate with my sister. It was good to be spending time with my sister and Amelia. It made me feel a little better. I just feel like theres too much going on for me to control and usually I control situations pretty well.

I know no matter what, I have my friends beside me through everything. And they love me no matter what I do. And I love them. <33

You know what? I'm really happy I have the friends I have. Because they are so wonderful. They really listen, without critizing and without saying what I want to hear, but saying what is needed to be said. They tell me the truth and I'm greatful to them for that. <3

What would you say, if I asked you not to go...