The Basement Smells of Blood
Im in the basement of a doctors office in waterford. Its smells weird, but at least it's cooler than being upstairs. Kim sent me over here to cover for some girl that broke her foot. Its alot quieter than working at plus, so quiet in fact that I can actually find time to screw around on the internet and blog about where I am and what im doing. As a matter of fact, alot of offices arnt as busy as ours is and I am starting to think that Giovanni only put me over there because he knew that I couldnt get into too much trouble as long as my hands were busy. He was right.
I had alot of fun in Chicago last weekend. There was an enormous amount of food at the show, I got to see Chef Wolf and we took pictures with him and my fam, we went to the aquarium, field museum, and the sears tower. All in all it was a good weekend, but then i messed up. I forgot to call my mom on her birthday and now I am feeling terrible about it. So terrible that I havent called her back to say that Im sorry because im so embarrased. I need to buy her a gift, but not because I screwed up, because she deserves it. Shes an amazing woman and I hate it when I neglect her like that. The ironic thing is that I remembered to call my brother on his birthday this year when I missed it last year, only to forget to call my mom on her birthday this year and remember the last one. Im going to have to buckle and call her tonight to let her know how I feel.
I havent been to a meeting in awhile either. I missed mondays because D isnt feeling well and I wanted to take care of her, something I dont do enough when she gets sick. So we hung out on the couch yesterday and I made her soup. Shes at the house right now cause she called it early at work. I want to be able to take care of the things that need to be taken care of, and that sometimes gets put on the back burner. I hate to think that I am jeopardizing any of my recovery for the things in life that recovery gave me to begin with.
Meetings are really important to me. I think about where I would be without them and I get scared. I know what happends to people when they stop going and that scares me too. Recovery really is the most important thing in my life right now and If i let things get in the way of that I will slip. Maybe not use, but something will start to suffer, and that something is my spiritual condition. I have been formally praying in the bathroom lately and I think that helps. It feels good to talk to God and to nurture my relationship with him, When I pull away from that it means bad news. No God + no meetings = bad time.
Thank you for another day clean and thank you for the opportunity to share my life with others. Thank you for all these gifts that I have and thank you for the people that showed me how to live my life.
Your Loving Son -
Jimmy