(no subject)
My mom's freaking out again. She takes everything way too far. Ellen accidently locked us all out, and me mom starting cussing and doing this annoying 'angry sigh'. I hate it when she des this. I mean, it was an accidnt, way too make my best friend feel like shit. We went as far as picking the lock with our jewelry, and breaking all of it. She doesn't even care, or apologize. We got back in eventually, and she jus went to her rom and went to sleep. Typical mom.
Well one good deed she did is drop off a letter I got in the mail today. From Colton. I've got to say, I'm really relieved. I had this feeling something was going wrong, but it's really the opposite. It seems like Colton really does care, I wasn't sure at first after all this bullshit Rickey had been telling me. I can't wait for him to get his 24 pass. I want to see him more than anything. I've been on edge lately, and he's just what I need right now. I like him a lot a lot a lot. Which is good, obviously, I just hope he sincerely likes me as much as he says he does.
I don't know why I'm always worried about things I probably shouldn't be worried about. I guess because I USED to get let down a lot, but I don't anymore, I have people I can depend on, so why does this still happen?
I've noticed that I get along with few people now days. Since I've grown so close to Ellen, it'slike I'm only used to her, everyone else is doesn't feel right. I mean yeah, a few people, but not many. Probably just like Meghann and Mallory, maybe Tiffy. Of course Colton, but I'm talking about friends. It's kind of weird, I haven't had a friend put up with all my shit for this long, not get tired of me, and not replace me. I love Ellen and I love that she's my best friend, I'm just not used to having these people actually care about me. It's the best feeling, but I'm so worried that I might mess it all up. I can't take starting over again.
I have a perfect life right now, but I'm always scared of fucking that up. Living the life puts you under a lot of pressure, I'd say.
Well one good deed she did is drop off a letter I got in the mail today. From Colton. I've got to say, I'm really relieved. I had this feeling something was going wrong, but it's really the opposite. It seems like Colton really does care, I wasn't sure at first after all this bullshit Rickey had been telling me. I can't wait for him to get his 24 pass. I want to see him more than anything. I've been on edge lately, and he's just what I need right now. I like him a lot a lot a lot. Which is good, obviously, I just hope he sincerely likes me as much as he says he does.
I don't know why I'm always worried about things I probably shouldn't be worried about. I guess because I USED to get let down a lot, but I don't anymore, I have people I can depend on, so why does this still happen?
I've noticed that I get along with few people now days. Since I've grown so close to Ellen, it'slike I'm only used to her, everyone else is doesn't feel right. I mean yeah, a few people, but not many. Probably just like Meghann and Mallory, maybe Tiffy. Of course Colton, but I'm talking about friends. It's kind of weird, I haven't had a friend put up with all my shit for this long, not get tired of me, and not replace me. I love Ellen and I love that she's my best friend, I'm just not used to having these people actually care about me. It's the best feeling, but I'm so worried that I might mess it all up. I can't take starting over again.
I have a perfect life right now, but I'm always scared of fucking that up. Living the life puts you under a lot of pressure, I'd say.