[fic] Wakaremichi - Kai/Aoi - oneshot
Title: Wakaremichi
Chapters: 1/1
Author: paige_nevaeh
Genre: Drama/Romance/Fluff
Warnings: ManxMan kissing, some bad language.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Aoi/Kai (main) Aoi/Yune. Hinted Ruki/Uruha
Synopsis: Set back in the ‘old days’. Yune has just left the band without an explanation and the rest of the GazettE are at a loss without their drummer, but Aoi’s hiding the dark truths of Yune’s sudden departure.
Disclaimer: the Gazette are not mine
Comments: First I'd just like to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who commented on my Screw fic. It was really nice to have some encouragement! This is one I wrote a few months ago. I spent quite a while on this one, so I hope you like it! I'm also working on a new Screw one too.
Ever since Yune had left there had been a terrible atmosphere hanging around the GazettE. They were at a loss - without their drummer, what could they do?
They were mad at him, for leaving so suddenly when they were trying to make their first EP. It was impossible without a drummer, they didn’t even have all the songs recorded, but of course they missed him, he was their friend, and getting used to fact of going on without him was hard, that’s why the band didn’t speak badly about him. Well, no one did apart from the band’s dear, sweet blonde guitarist, who would be anything but sweet whenever Yune was mentioned.
“Oh, I swear, I could kill him! Just kill him, who does he think he is? Leaving with not one explanation, one day, just POOF ‘I’m leaving’.” Uruha would continue to gabble on like this until he was either a) asked politely to be quiet and get on with practice, or b) told unkindly to ‘shut the hell up, Jesus Christ, you’re giving me a headache’ by Reita.
On this day Uruha and Aoi were left alone in the studio to finish up recording some of the guitar solos. Ruki was in a different room scribbling lyrics down into an old, tattered note book and Reita was absent, due to the fact he had ‘stuff to do’.
“I dunno what we’re going to do Aoi.” Uruha sighed, tuning the black guitar sitting proudly in his lap. “We need a drummer. I just don’t believe Yune would leave us like this.” His eyebrows knotted together, confusion and irritance showing on his pretty face.
“It’ll be hard replacing Yune.” Aoi said, he kept his eyes on Uruha’s guitar, and blinked a few times, biting down on his pierced bottom lip.
“Aoi? Are you…are you crying?” Uruha peered and the dark haired guitarist, who sat upright and sniffed.
“No, of course not.” He said defiantly.
“You know you can tell me, if there’s anything…”
“There’s nothing.” Aoi cut in. Uruha’s face fell, obviously hurt that his best friend would hide something from him, especially something that was obviously troubling him so much.
“I’m gonna go get a coffee from that café down the road, do you want to come?” Uruha asked, and Aoi wished that Uruha would stop being so kind to him, it pained him to reject his closest friend’s supportive words. The older shook his head, and the blonde left without another word.
Aoi covered his face with his palms, and let the salty tears fall. Tears of sadness, self-pity and guilt. How could he tell them? It was his fault that Yune left, it was all his fault.
--x--
“Yune! Yune, please!” Aoi yelled, running down the alley way to catch up with the drummer.
“No Aoi!” He turned round to face Aoi, eyes filled with anger. “Just leave me alone!”
“B-but Yune…” Aoi stopped, tears trickled down the sides of his cheeks. “Why Yune? I-I love you.”
“I don’t love you, ok?” Yune snapped. “I don’t swing that way, when will you get that into your thick little head, huh?”
“Then why…?”
“Why was I always so kind to you?” Yune laughed a harsh, hollow laugh. “Because I pitied you. You and your stupid school-boy crush. Grow up!”
“Yune.” Aoi bleated, one more time, but Yune was already pacing in the opposite direction.
The next day it seemed like everything was back to normal; Yune was his usual chatty self, it was only Uruha who seemed to notice that their raven-haired guitarist was acting odd.
Aoi tried to put the drummer out of his mind. But he couldn’t. How could he? His obsession was starting to take over him. Yes, it was an obsession. He couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t do anything without the one he adored’s harsh words spinning in his mind.
--x--
Aoi sniffed and wiped away his tears. He’d screwed things up and he knew it. Placing his beloved guitar back in its stand, he pulled himself up and shook his head.
‘Ok, Aoi. Come on, get a hold of yourself.’
Dark, chocolate coloured eye looked back at him, tearfully as he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He splashed cold water on his face to try and mask the fact that he’d been crying. He didn’t want Uruha to know he’d been upset again, he also didn’t fancy being interrogated by the short, spunky vocalist, who was singing softly to his little self as he jotted down new lyrics for the incomplete band.
--x--
“Jeez, this puppy sure can take a beating, ne? What happened?” The mechanic shook his head at the battered car as Yune drove it into the garage.
“The question is can you fix her?” Yune asked, biting his lip. He’d got a couple of funny looks off other drivers as he’d driven to the garage with half of his car windows smashed up.
“I should think so.” The man replied, the little plastic badge on the left side of his red shirt read ‘Shingo’. “Could be a few days though.”
“I can wait.” The latter replied, hand slipping into his pocket as his mobile phone vibrated against his jean-clad leg.
‘Yune, just to let you know, we still love & respect you. Give me a call, we need to talk.
Ruki-chan.’
Yune sighed, this was the third time Ruki had texted him that week, and once again, Yune pressed ‘delete’. It had been exactly one week since Yune had announced his departure from the band, still the events of the Tuesday before still played in his mind as if it was yesterday.
--x--
Yune could only take so much, the phone calls, the pained looks Aoi was giving him. But it was the night Yune brought a new girlfriend back to his place when he was finally forced to abandon his friends. He was making love to her when he heard a banging on the front door.
“Ignore it.” She whispered, running manicured hands through Yune’s dyed hair. The noise stopped. Then a car alarm started to sound. Yune’s car alarm. Grabbing his dressing gown, he ran outside.
“Aoi, what the fuck are you doing?” He yelled at the older man.
“Why don’t you love me, Yune?” Aoi screamed at him, the sound of glass breaking echoed through Yune’s ears as the front window of the stylish vehicle shattered. “What does she have that I don’t have?”
“Sanity!” Yune ran up to the elder, shoving him hard. Aoi landed on the ground with a thud, Yune snatched the crowbar off Aoi before he could hurt Yune or his girlfriend, who was watching nervously from the doorway, a black lacy dressing gown draped over her small shoulders. He threw it aside and kicked the guitarist in the stomach. “Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?” Yune snarled at the body below him.
“Yune! Be careful, what are you doing?” She called out, voice full of concern and worry.
“If you don’t fuck off right now, I swear I’m calling the cops!” Yune threatened, snarling at the shaking guitarist hunched up on the floor, hands clapped over his ears. He pulled himself up quickly, and didn’t even look at Yune as he ran off.
“Come inside, Shiori.” Yune wrapped his arm around the young woman as he ushered her inside.
“What was that all about?” She asked. “I thought Aoi was your friend.”
--x--
Uruha sipped his coffee daintily, whilst staring out of the café window at the passer-byers, his little head full of thought. He twisted a strand of hair around his index finger, he was still getting used to the shortness. Still, he presumed he looked better now…maybe more…manly? Uruha smirked to himself, he’d seen other visual kei bands; there was no way he’d be caught dead in a pair of hot pants. ‘Especially not purple’ he thought as a man in a hideous purple raincoat sat down at the table across the room.
It was Aoi who persuaded him to chop off the long platinum locks.
Aoi. There was something wrong with him, and Uruha wanted to find out what, he couldn’t stand seeing him so sad, he’d always looked out for Aoi, even if he was the younger one. It was ever since Yune left, and that made Uruha slightly suspicious. He frowned, thinking back to last week when Yune dropped the bombshell.
--x--
“I’m leaving.” Yune said, picking up the hot mug, he looked into it at the dark liquid, averting his eyes from the rest of the band.
“What the fuck Yune?” Reita exploded, earning disapproving looks from the rest of the customers.
“Y-Yune…why?” Ruki choked out. Yune sighed.
“I’m sorry, I can’t say.”
“I don’t fucking believe this.” Reita banged his fist on the table, making the others flinch. “You’re leaving. That’s it. Not even an explanation? We need you, Yune.”
“These things happen, Rei.” Yune sighed. “People move on. I need to move on. You’ll find a new drummer.”
“I don’t need to listen to this bullshit.” Reita muttered angrily, he grabbed his jacket off the back of the plastic chair. “I’m going - and I’ll see you all in practise tomorrow.”
The other men sat silently for a few minutes, until Uruha spoke up.
“Where’s Aoi?” He asked, when Yune had called an ‘emergency band meeting’ he had presumed that meant the whole band.
“He’s sick.” Yune answered. “Flu.” He added.
“Is it because of her?” Ruki asked quietly and Yune shook his head.
“No.” He told them. He stood up, pushing his chair under the table. “I have to go; I’ll see you guys sometime.”
Uruha looked at Ruki, biting his lip. Ruki looked back at him.
“Will he come to practise tomorrow?” Uruha asked.
“We have more chance of pigs flying, Uru.” The vocalist sighed sadly.
--x--
“Ok arseholes; gather round I have big news.”
It was exactly eight days since Yune had left the band. Nine days since Aoi had let his obsession change him into something he thought he wasn’t. It was Reita who was addressing the band in an ever-so-friendly way.
“I have something to tell you all.” He continued. The rest of the guys put down their instruments and looked at their current band leader with curiosity.
“Before you start,” the tiny vocalist interrupted. “I’ve written a new song!” He waved a piece of paper in the bassist’s face. Reita snatched it off him, scanning the sheet, reading the carefully written lyrics.
“Distress and Coma.” Reita read out. “This is…different.” Ruki nodded proudly. “It could do with some work I think.”
Ruki’s face fell, a pout forming on his face. “Yeah well, your nose looks really fucked up.”
Reita blushed, in a very unmanly way and clasped his hand over his nose. “Whatever.” He muttered, trying to ignore the giggles now coming from Uruha. “Look, are you going to be quiet and listen to my news?”
“Sorry.” Uruha coughed, and glanced over at Aoi, he frowned, he wasn’t laughing, he didn’t even crack a smile.
“So, I know a guy who knows a guy who’s a drummer.” Reita smiled proudly. “And he wants to join the band.”
“Oh my God, really?” Ruki clapped his hands together excitedly. “That’s great!”
“His name’s Kai, he’s coming over in half an hour to play some stuff and we’ll talk band stuff.”
Ruki let out a happy sigh. Finally things were looking up for the band. A new drummer and a new start it would seem. Ruki pulled his mobile phone out of his jacket pocket. Yune was still ignoring his texts; whatever the reason was for his parting it must have been tough of Yune for him to isolate himself from his friends.
--x--
Kai was talented. He was extremely talented. The four men watched, open mouthed, as the young, dark haired drummer demonstrated what he could do. His face was one of extreme bliss as he hit the sticks down onto the drum, before he screwed his features into one of pure concentration. He was slight, yet he pounded into the drum kit as if he had the strength of a boxer.
He hadn’t been fazed by Reita’s intimidating personality. The blonde had looked the latter up and down.
“So you actually showed up?” He’d smirked. The drummer nodded and smiled, showing off the little dimples in his cheeks. The bassist thrust a pair of drumsticks into his hands. “Show us what you can do then.”
Uruha and Ruki couldn’t help but burst into applause after Kai finished his piece. “W-was it good?” Kai blinked, standing up.
“You were amazing!” Ruki threw himself at the drummer, hugging him tightly. Ruki looked at Reita. “Can we keep him, pleaaase?” He asked, the way a child would ask a parent to keep a lost puppy.
--x--
A few hours and a few drinks later Kai was the new and official drummer of the GazettE.
It was late evening and Aoi and Uruha were walking back home, they’d left there car because of the alcohol they’d consumed. They weren’t drunk, but they wouldn’t want to be stopped by police and loose their licences. Uruha decided to take this opportunity to speak to his friend.
“So, he’s nice, this Kai, isn’t he?” Uruha said casually.
“Yeah, he is. Great drummer.” Aoi nodded, meaning his compliment.
“Cute too, huh?” Uruha grinned.
“Uruha!” Aoi exclaimed.
“Oh, don’t act so shocked, Aoi.” He took a deep breath as they approached his apartment. “Aoi, come inside, me and you need to talk.”
--x--
Uruha flopped down on the black leather sofa next to Aoi, handing him a hot mug of coffee.
“Thanks.” Aoi gave Uruha a weak smile and took the beverage.
“So, are you going to talk or not?” Uruha asked, a serious look sitting on his face.
Aoi hung his head, dark locks covering his face. “I-I can’t.”
Uruha sighed impatiently. “I don’t know what happened, but I know something happened with you and Yune, right?” Aoi nodded. “And then it didn’t work out and he left?” He gained another nod from the guitarist, the elder’s bottom lip started to quiver again. Uruha leant over, wiping a tear away from his face.
“You could have told me.” Uruha told him. “Aoi, it’s time for you to move on, maybe Yune’s not the one for you.”
“How do you know?” Aoi asked.
“If he was he wouldn’t have left you.” Uruha said. Aoi blinked, he knew what Uruha was saying was right.
How could Yune be the one?
--x--
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off Uruha’s shoulders, ok, so Aoi hadn’t opened up completely to him yet, but he’d made a start.
And he had a plan.
Aoi trudged into practise the day after talking to Uruha, but he was scared, scared that Uruha was close to finding the truth, he didn’t know what would happen if the rest of the band found out. They’d hate him. They’d throw him out of the band.
“Aoi! Aoi, come here!” Uruha was stood next to a smiling Kai. Uruha whispered something into Kai’s ear, and he nodded.
“Will you join me and Kai for a drink tonight?” Uruha asked him.
“Um, sure.” Aoi nodded, feeling confused by Uruha’s sudden enthusiasm.
“Great!” Uruha beamed. “We’ll meet at seven, ok?”
--x--
“Which looks better, the red or the white?” Kai asked Uruha that night, holding up two coat hangers with the two shirts hanging on them.
“The white.” Uruha said, then he pouted. “I won’t see you in it though.”
“Is this going to work, Uruha?” Kai asked, whilst being assaulted by an assortment of different make-up brushes.
“It has too. You can make it work, can’t you? Turn on the charm.”
“But what if it doesn’t?”
“Kai!” Uruha interrupted him sharply, Kai flinched as Uruha jabbed him in the eye with an eye-liner pencil. “You said you like Aoi, right?”
“Yes…”
“Therefore, you will do all you can to make him fall for you.” Uruha clapped his hands together. “You’re done.” He held up a mirror to Kai’s face. “Now go out there and show him what you’re made of.”
--x--
Kai smiled the minute he saw Aoi standing outside the bar, he looked great in his black shirt and tight black jeans. He was so thankful to Uruha for setting this up, but he did wonder why Uruha was so desperate to set Aoi up with him.
He didn’t care anyway. Aoi was sexy, mysterious, talented and Kai couldn’t wait to get to know him.
“Aoi!” Kai ran up to him, grinning wildly.
“Hey, Kai. Where’s Uruha?” Aoi asked.
“Oh, he texted me, he can’t make it tonight. His grandma’s ill.” Kai noticed Aoi looking at him oddly, he then realised he was still smiling like crazy, despite telling Aoi bad news about Uruha’s grandma. Not that it was true of course, this was step one of Uruha’s plan. Kai made the smile fade away. “It’s nothing too serious, I’m sure.” Kai assured him. “Shall we go inside?”
The evening turned out to be a success, the usually dark Aoi seemed to lighten up considerably in Kai’s presence.
Aoi told Kai everything about the band, how Reita was really self-conscious deep down, especially about his nose, how Ruki tried and failed to add English into their songs to make them seem more “worldly” and how Uruha really was as vain and catty as he seemed.
Kai told Aoi about his dreams of becoming famous, coming from a dead end area of Tokyo, he’d always wanted to make it big.
“This is your chance Kai!” Aoi told him, clasping his hands. “You’re an amazingly talented drummer that type of talent shouldn’t go to waste.”
“Do you think so?” Kai blushed at the compliment. “But, Aoi, this is your chance too.” Before Aoi could reply Kai pressed his lips against his own.
Aoi’s eyes fluttered closed, Kai’s slick tongue slipped past his lips and nudged Aoi’s open. Aoi followed him, letting the wet muscle slip inside his mouth. Kai’s hand stroked Aoi’s thigh under the bar table, he didn’t care about the looks they were getting, he only cared about the moment, he kissed Aoi harder, making the kiss more heated and exciting.
Aoi moaned softly into Kai’s mouth as his hand slid further up his thigh. Kai ended the kiss, pulling back; he brought his face close to Aoi’s ear, flicking the lobe with his tongue. “Aoi, how about we go back to your place?”
--x--
Once they had arrived back at Aoi’s apartment and he had locked the door, Aoi found himself wrapping his arms back around the shorter male. His hands started to roam everywhere, across the toned chest, the sharp shoulder blades and the prominent spine.
Kai’s quick fingers fumbled around with Aoi’s shirt, undoing the plastic buttons. He held his breath as the black fabric was separated from Aoi’s muscular body.
Bits of clothing landed in various areas of Aoi’s home as the two staggered towards Aoi’s bedroom, light headed and clumsy, not breaking the heated kiss.
Kai pushed Aoi down on the bed, straddling him, they were both now just in their underwear. Kai cocked his head on one side getting a look at the gorgeous man below him.
Aoi looked back up at him, the kiss had ended and the uncertainties started to wander back into Aoi’s mind.
What if Yune did love you after all? What if he was in denial? How do you know Kai doesn’t just feel sorry for you?
“Aoi, is something wrong?” Kai broke his thoughts, he trailed one finger down Aoi’s chest to the top of his boxers, he tugged playfully at the waistband.
“Are you using me?” Aoi blurted out. The look on Kai’s face showed both shock and hurt.
“Of course not, why would I?”
“Never mind, it…it’s nothing.” Aoi replied quickly.
“Did something happen before I joined the band with the old drummer? No-one would ever tell me anything about him.”
“Yes. Something happened.” Aoi sighed. “Something that no one knows.”
“What is it, Aoi? It can’t be that bad.”
“Can’t be that bad?” Aoi mocked. “I became so obsessed with Yune, I thought I was in love with him, I stalked him, fuck, I even smashed up his car.”
He looked away from Kai, staring at the wall paper and the chair in the corner of the room with Kai and Aoi’s clothes thrown on it.
“Wow.” Was all Kai could think to say. Aoi turned back to look at him. But Kai didn’t move off him like he’d thought, or told him to leave. “Do you still love him?”
Aoi thought hard. Kai really did like him; he was still there, even after Aoi’s confession, and Kai was hot, he couldn’t deny that. He remembered what Kai had told him, this was his chance too. Perhaps it was, it was a chance to let go of Yune. Yune would never love him, but Aoi could love Kai and the feelings he felt would be mirrored.
“No.” Aoi said, and he smiled, he felt happier than he’d ever felt. “I don’t. And if you don’t mind,” he flipped Kai over onto his back. “I always top.”
Kai was taken a back by Aoi’s actions, but he decided to go with it. Aoi kissed him once more, letting his hands drift down his body.
“We don’t need these anymore.” He smirked as he eased Kai’s briefs off, then he removed his own, they were starting to feel uncomfortable anyway.
“I really like you, Aoi.” Kai told him, as the elder’s lips left his own and started drifting down his body. “I don’t care about what happened in the past, you know.”
“You talk too much.” Aoi laughed. “But I like it. Are you ready?”
Kai pursed his lips, and pecked Aoi on the cheek. “I’m ready.”
Sunlight leaking through the windows awoke Aoi the next day, he groaned slightly, pulling the duvet over his head stubbornly.
Panic hit him a second later as he remembered the events of that evening. He lifted his head, feeling his heart drop as his eyes descended on the empty bed.
Is that all I’m really worth? Just one night?
His almond shaped eyes started to fill up as the rejection hit him. Then he heard the sound of the bedroom door clicking open.
“I made you some coffee.” Kai gives Aoi a sweet smile, the dimples appearing on his cheeks. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I thought you’d gone.” Aoi said, sniffing. Kai put the coffee mug down on the bedside table and wrapped his arms around Aoi and hugged him tightly.
“I wouldn’t leave you.” Kai whispered into his hair.
And then Aoi knew, there was no more Yune, just Kai.
--2009--
“Rukiii! Carry me!” Uruha wails, leaning against the short curly-haired vocalist.
“Uruha you fat lump, get off me.” Ruki groaned, pulling off the sweat-soaked jacket. “God, I can’t wait to get home tonight.” He gave Uruha a quick kiss on the cheek. “Me and you can stay in bed as long as we want to.”
“It’s been a great tour though, right?” Aoi smiled, plonking down on the battered couch next to Kai. It had been a great tour, stressful, but fun and it had been a real triumph for the GazettE, it didn’t seem like long ago that they were nearly breaking up because Yune left and now - sold out shows right across Japan. It was overwhelming.
Uruha made a point of that fact while he pulled a fresh t-shirt over his head, he gazed at himself in the mirror for a second, making sure his hair was perfect.
Aoi frowned; Kai squeezed his hand for support. Aoi had never confessed to the band about Yune, he’d never even seen him since the day he smashed his car. “Well I’m glad Yune left.” He said. The rest of the band turned to look at him, looking almost shocked. “Otherwise I’d have never found Kai.” He wrapped his arm around Kai and kissed his temple lovingly.
“Kai is actually a better drummer.” Reita mused, averting his eyes from the public display of affection.
“Guys.” The back stage door opened, their manager poked his head into the room. “You have a visitor.”
“Y-Yune.” Aoi stood up as the ex-drummer entered the room.
“Oh my God! Yune!” Uruha threw himself at the unsuspecting drummer, hugging him tightly. “Gosh, look at you, haven’t you changed!” He squeaked excitedly. Aoi’s eyes roamed over Yune, he looked so normal, nothing at all like the wild-dressing guy they had once known.
Once Uruha’s attack was finished Yune glances over at Aoi. Kai gave his lover another quick kiss, emphasising that Aoi wasn’t the same guy he used to be.
“Long time no see, Aoi.” He gave the elder man a soft smile, he stuck his arm out to Aoi, and the guitarist gripped his hand.
“How’ve you been, Yune?” Aoi asked him.
“I’m married now.” Yune smiled, earning a horde of ‘congratulations’ from the rest of the band. “What about you, Aoi?” He turned his attention back to him, “how’s it going for you now?”
“I started dating Kai just after you left.” Aoi almost boasted. “We’re really happy together.”
“That’s great.” Yune smiled, feeling a little relieved, seeing his friends again wasn’t as bad as he’d imagined.
“So,” Reita coughed. “How about we all go out for a drink?”
--x--
Aoi leaned against the bar outside; he brought the cigarette up to his mouth and inhaled deeply, feeling his nerves calm down as his addiction was satisfied.
“Hey.” Aoi looked up, seeing Yune open the bar door. “I figured we should talk.”
“Yune…I just want you to know that I am so sorry for what happened. I was stupid.” Aoi sighed. “I don’t even know what was going on in my head.”
“Hey, it’s ok.” Yune placed a hand on his shoulder. “So you didn’t tell the band? Even after all these years?”
Aoi shook his head, feeling a little embarrassed. “Only Kai.”
Aoi finished his cigarette and tossed it on the floor. He took one more look at Yune.
“I hope me and you can be friends.” Aoi told him. Yune nodded and gave him a tight, friendly hug. Yune sighed because he could finally let go of the guilt he’d been feeling, the guilt for abandoning his band for years, the guilt for not caring about Aoi’s feelings. And Aoi could let go of all the bad memories now. Yune would be in his life again, but not like before things could be different for the both of them now.
The door of the bar swung open once again. Suddenly the two drummers were staring into each other's eyes.
"I just came to check on Aoi." Kai told Yune, a hint of bitterness coated his usually friendly tone.
"I'm fine, Kai." Aoi pecked his lover on the cheek. "I don't think you two really got chance to get introduced....Kai, I'd like you to meet my friend Yune."
Yune smiled broadly and held out his hand to the dark-haired drummer. "Nice to meet you."
Kai looked at Yune for a moment, before grasping his outstretched palm.
"Well, any friend of Aoi's is a friend of mine - nice to meet you."