Dad
This will be incomplete till I remove this tag. Dad passed away a few years ago and I am still devastated about it. I did not have a relationship with him growing up, just after my brother died is when it restarted. It was the best ten years you could ask for with a father. He wanted to be there for everything, he had actual grandkids. It was the relationship I had always wanted but was denied because my mother lied about it.
He had cancer, behind his left eye. He had a "growth" removed from the same spot many years before, but it was not diagnosed as cancer then. At one point, his left eye was almost an inch lower than his right, and he wore an eye patch. Chemo wrecked him, he looked 20 years older than he was instantly. It was rather sudden, as the cancer was aggressive. It got into a major artery but we didn't know that and the VA had given up on him. He started to bleed and it came out of his mouth. I worked half days, paranoid that this was the end, spending the time with him.
He was transfered to the Lahey clinic. I visited, said goodbye, went home late. Around 2 or 3, phone call from there, get there immediately. He started to bleed hard. I walked in and saw blood all over the floor. The tumor had cut into his artery. I held his hand and he grabbed it with all his strength he had left. His face was bandaged up and his hearing aid was out, so this was all I could do. They rolled him out and we waited. The blood loss was too great and he was braindead for a bit. They weren't sure if they made him alive he would be himself or a vegetable. I had to make that call. Goodbye dad.
His best friend, my uncle, and I stayed with dad till his very last breath. I held his hand till the bitter end. It was the single hardest thing I have ever done and I can't stop crying while typing this. He will never see his grandkids grow up. I can never talk to him again. I will never hear his voice. I guess it might not have been as bad if I was allowed to grow up knowing him, but I wasn't. This was my chance. And it was gone. I still have many questions to ask. I miss you dad
He had cancer, behind his left eye. He had a "growth" removed from the same spot many years before, but it was not diagnosed as cancer then. At one point, his left eye was almost an inch lower than his right, and he wore an eye patch. Chemo wrecked him, he looked 20 years older than he was instantly. It was rather sudden, as the cancer was aggressive. It got into a major artery but we didn't know that and the VA had given up on him. He started to bleed and it came out of his mouth. I worked half days, paranoid that this was the end, spending the time with him.
He was transfered to the Lahey clinic. I visited, said goodbye, went home late. Around 2 or 3, phone call from there, get there immediately. He started to bleed hard. I walked in and saw blood all over the floor. The tumor had cut into his artery. I held his hand and he grabbed it with all his strength he had left. His face was bandaged up and his hearing aid was out, so this was all I could do. They rolled him out and we waited. The blood loss was too great and he was braindead for a bit. They weren't sure if they made him alive he would be himself or a vegetable. I had to make that call. Goodbye dad.
His best friend, my uncle, and I stayed with dad till his very last breath. I held his hand till the bitter end. It was the single hardest thing I have ever done and I can't stop crying while typing this. He will never see his grandkids grow up. I can never talk to him again. I will never hear his voice. I guess it might not have been as bad if I was allowed to grow up knowing him, but I wasn't. This was my chance. And it was gone. I still have many questions to ask. I miss you dad