Brooke journal, April 5, 2015
High School Jen would be extremely disappointed in how slow my progress with Brooke has been. Despite the fact that she was barely halter broke when I got her, it seems like I should have had enough time to get her out on a trail by now. "Should" is a sneaky enemy, however. "Should" have, based on what? My comparison with some vague ideal, or based on what other people have been doing with their horses? I know that the issue is not entirely that I truly feel she's not ready; much of the problem is that she is fearful and reactive, which in turn makes ME fearful of what she's going to do when she sees something she doesn't like out on the trail.
I don't know that "fearful" is the right word. She has a tendency to bolt, but I am not convinced she is really scared so much as she just likes to run, and looks for excuses to take off. It is hard to keep her attention, and she is always looking around her. If I'm working her in the round pen, she will look over the top rail. Maybe I am not keeping her attention well enough and she's actually bored. I should note that she never bolts and gets away from me. Even if I am leading her when she does it, she will cut up on the end of the rope, but never once has she stepped on me, pulled me, or even so much as pulled the rope through my hands. She does whatever she is doing with an acute awareness of exactly how much rope she has (she will set back if tied up, though).
Yesterday was an odd day. She was clearly being bothered by something, and I could never figure out what. She was acting like some external thing was worrying her, like a fly was after her or her cinch was bothering her. She would go a little bit then buck, go a little bit then buck. I couldn't see anything to blame it on, and in the end wondered if maybe she's just not in heat and super cranky. I made the decision to go ahead and ride her, because I don't want her to get the idea that if she acts bitchy she can get out of work, but I set some pretty low goals for the ride based on her mood and my desire not to hit the ground. She never did buck hard, but I couldn't get much "go" out of her (which has been typical of the last month or so - instead of going forward she'll suck up and buck). She did back up without much arguing and start to move sideways off my leg, so I considered it not a wasted session.
I don't know that "fearful" is the right word. She has a tendency to bolt, but I am not convinced she is really scared so much as she just likes to run, and looks for excuses to take off. It is hard to keep her attention, and she is always looking around her. If I'm working her in the round pen, she will look over the top rail. Maybe I am not keeping her attention well enough and she's actually bored. I should note that she never bolts and gets away from me. Even if I am leading her when she does it, she will cut up on the end of the rope, but never once has she stepped on me, pulled me, or even so much as pulled the rope through my hands. She does whatever she is doing with an acute awareness of exactly how much rope she has (she will set back if tied up, though).
Yesterday was an odd day. She was clearly being bothered by something, and I could never figure out what. She was acting like some external thing was worrying her, like a fly was after her or her cinch was bothering her. She would go a little bit then buck, go a little bit then buck. I couldn't see anything to blame it on, and in the end wondered if maybe she's just not in heat and super cranky. I made the decision to go ahead and ride her, because I don't want her to get the idea that if she acts bitchy she can get out of work, but I set some pretty low goals for the ride based on her mood and my desire not to hit the ground. She never did buck hard, but I couldn't get much "go" out of her (which has been typical of the last month or so - instead of going forward she'll suck up and buck). She did back up without much arguing and start to move sideways off my leg, so I considered it not a wasted session.