War and Snails
Had a very cool weekend. For a start, it was Steve’s and my FIVE year wedding anniversary on Friday (FIVE!) which means that we’ve been together for 8 ½ years which is a LONG time. To celebrate the unending monotony of married bliss, we went to the French Café, where I ate snails for the first and possibly last time. The first three were fine till I accidentally spooned open the fourth one, and can now reliably inform you (not having been one of those vile little children that vivisect every animal they discover) that snails are almost entirely composed of guts. So I ate the fourth one, thinking all the while “I’m eating snail guts”. The fifth and sixth went down OK, but I was markedly less enthusiastic about them. And the gritty after-texture just made me think “This snail slithered over some sand or maybe ate it and now I’m eating it.” So that was pleasant. We both had crispy squid, then Steve had crayfish and eye fillet, while I had snails and veal. We had two glasses of wine each, so Steve was sober as a judge while I was cross-eyed, hilariously witty and a little unsteady on my spike heels.
We then stayed at my parents’ place which was, as I’ve said before, warm and quiet, two things our tin can are not. Saturday night was a raucous dinner at Delicious with Steve’s two best friends and their wives, and on Sunday afternoon I was overcome by temptation and took the cellophane off my Season 6 West Wing DVD. (Sorry Alastair, I couldn’t wait. And it’s really GOOD!) West Wing really is like watching TV in another language. My favourite are the bits where they’re earnestly debating a world crisis I don’t understand and someone’s furrowed brow lightens, they bang the table and announce the solution and everybody cheers… and I still don’t understand it. But I’m sure the smartness is seeping into me somehow.
But you know what is seeping into me? The conviction that if the crises depicted on West Wing are in any way true to life, Bush is the WRONG person to be in the White House. I’m very much looking forward to seeing how the directors of Death of a President (the mockumentary about the assassination of Bush and the possible repercussions, in the Film Festival) depict what would happen in Iraq and America without Bush. Not that I wish anyone to be assassinated, of course, but it will be interesting. Behind the cut is something that seems to pop into my head (especially the last verse) every time there’s something about Iraq on TV or in the paper. It’s to the tune of “if you’re happy and you know it” and went round as an email forward after Bush went looking for those pesky WMDs.
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi,
And your alibi is shoddy,
And your tastes remain quite gaudy,
Bomb Iraq.
If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your ideas are rejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think that SUVs
Are the best thing since sliced cheese,
And your father you must please,
Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might now knows no borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
It's the “make war not love” season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.
It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's all the proof we need,
If they're not there, they must be there,
Bomb Iraq.
We then stayed at my parents’ place which was, as I’ve said before, warm and quiet, two things our tin can are not. Saturday night was a raucous dinner at Delicious with Steve’s two best friends and their wives, and on Sunday afternoon I was overcome by temptation and took the cellophane off my Season 6 West Wing DVD. (Sorry Alastair, I couldn’t wait. And it’s really GOOD!) West Wing really is like watching TV in another language. My favourite are the bits where they’re earnestly debating a world crisis I don’t understand and someone’s furrowed brow lightens, they bang the table and announce the solution and everybody cheers… and I still don’t understand it. But I’m sure the smartness is seeping into me somehow.
But you know what is seeping into me? The conviction that if the crises depicted on West Wing are in any way true to life, Bush is the WRONG person to be in the White House. I’m very much looking forward to seeing how the directors of Death of a President (the mockumentary about the assassination of Bush and the possible repercussions, in the Film Festival) depict what would happen in Iraq and America without Bush. Not that I wish anyone to be assassinated, of course, but it will be interesting. Behind the cut is something that seems to pop into my head (especially the last verse) every time there’s something about Iraq on TV or in the paper. It’s to the tune of “if you’re happy and you know it” and went round as an email forward after Bush went looking for those pesky WMDs.
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudi,
And your alibi is shoddy,
And your tastes remain quite gaudy,
Bomb Iraq.
If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your ideas are rejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think that SUVs
Are the best thing since sliced cheese,
And your father you must please,
Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might now knows no borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
It's the “make war not love” season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.
It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's all the proof we need,
If they're not there, they must be there,
Bomb Iraq.