Shocking News...

[paganpriestess1]

Have you ever felt like your heart has dropped into your stomach and your stomach acid is slowly eating away at your heart? Well, that's how I feel right now...I e-mailed my...for lack of word...friend Chris yesterday. I hadn't talked to him in a few years, he just kind of...disappeared one day. So I found an e-mail address of his and sent him this long, heart-breaking e-mail, not really expecting it to go through, just like all the other e-mails I attempted to send him. Well...It did. And this morning, I got an e-mail back. We dated a few years ago...before our 'innocence' was lacking. I wanted to prove to myself that he really existed, because after a while, I began to think he was a figment of my imagination. Well, his e-mail pretty much explained why he disappeared and that he loved me and hoped that someday we could pick up where we left off...I had hoped for a really long time that someday we would be able to, but...Now that I have him back in my life, I can't come to terms with it and I can't decide if that's what I truly want. It hurts me to say that, but in reality, I don't know anything about him anymore, and he doesn't know anything about me. We've both changed a lot...I don't know what's going to happen, but I know I am afraid of losing him all over again...

Life Between Happiness and Tears,
~Renee'~