All About Eve...Err...Me!
Ok, even I can recognize that title was a supremely lame attempt at humor. But I will leave it as-is, because I am a supreme mega-dork. Dorkzilla, if you will.
Anyhow, I felt like I should update a little bit more about how I am doing personally because as of the 27th, I will not have internet access. I am already quaking at the thought. How will I live without you, sweet sweet internet? I am completely addicted to the internet and I am not afraid to say so. My Google-Fu is renowned. I have friends who will dial me up and have me look up movie times or obscure pop culture references because they know I can find it in seconds. Maybe that is what I should do - an info search service. Just as long as I have a good computer and 8mbps internet connection, I can find your answer in 30 seconds or less. ;-) Honestly, I have been thinking about how I could parlay my internet efficiency into a career. I am not sure what is available out there, but maybe I could help refine search engines or something like that. :-)
As far as I am doing mentally, well, my sails are furled and I am riding the waves. I can tell that stresses are running high for us all. We are all in the same boat here, looking for a place to live and wondering what things are going to be like when all the chips fall. But I think the most important thing is that I have remained remarkably positive. Don't get me wrong, it is not all sunshine and roses here, but I am hanging ten. We have a few more prospects as far as apartments are concerned, and I am hopeful.
I guess the best news that I have is that my therapist called me! I will write more in a later post because I am not comfortable sharing the circumstances outside of my flist. But it is all good and I am really proud of how well I am putting into effect all of my coping skills. It is like I am skirting the edge of a diving pool...in the pool is my depression, my anxieties, and all the negative things that I sometimes still hear inside my head. Sometimes I fall in, and when I used to fall in, I'd feel so helpless. I would be buffered around by the lapping water and I would not know which way to go to get out. But now, I may flounder in that pool for a short time, but I am getting better at coming to my senses more quickly and swimming to the edge before pulling myself up and out.
I guess another thing that I would like to say is just how very much I appreciate anyone who comes by and reads my little missives here. Even when no one comments, it is a remarkable feeling, knowing that there are others who share in my feelings, even for just a passing moment. I appreciate everyone on my friends list and beyond, and I treasure you all, for your uniqueness and for the greater awareness that you help bring me. When you have been through the things that I have been through, there is an almost irresistible draw that compels you to isolate yourself, to remain alone. A lot of people do this because after all, if you never extend yourself, you can't be hurt by people like you were before. But you have to branch out, you have to trust people, and love them, and realize that you are worthy of their attention. We all have a lot to offer the world, no matter whether it is fandom or just an appreciation of the beautiful objects that man has created; or whether it is your drive to change the world or just to bring harmony to those you know and love.
The internet has connected me to a tremendous well of charismatic, imaginative, fascinating people and I hold some of the friendships I have made through the computer screen more dearly than many of the friendships I have made face-to-face. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel gifted by the people and places the internet has introduced me to. <3
Anyhow, I felt like I should update a little bit more about how I am doing personally because as of the 27th, I will not have internet access. I am already quaking at the thought. How will I live without you, sweet sweet internet? I am completely addicted to the internet and I am not afraid to say so. My Google-Fu is renowned. I have friends who will dial me up and have me look up movie times or obscure pop culture references because they know I can find it in seconds. Maybe that is what I should do - an info search service. Just as long as I have a good computer and 8mbps internet connection, I can find your answer in 30 seconds or less. ;-) Honestly, I have been thinking about how I could parlay my internet efficiency into a career. I am not sure what is available out there, but maybe I could help refine search engines or something like that. :-)
As far as I am doing mentally, well, my sails are furled and I am riding the waves. I can tell that stresses are running high for us all. We are all in the same boat here, looking for a place to live and wondering what things are going to be like when all the chips fall. But I think the most important thing is that I have remained remarkably positive. Don't get me wrong, it is not all sunshine and roses here, but I am hanging ten. We have a few more prospects as far as apartments are concerned, and I am hopeful.
I guess the best news that I have is that my therapist called me! I will write more in a later post because I am not comfortable sharing the circumstances outside of my flist. But it is all good and I am really proud of how well I am putting into effect all of my coping skills. It is like I am skirting the edge of a diving pool...in the pool is my depression, my anxieties, and all the negative things that I sometimes still hear inside my head. Sometimes I fall in, and when I used to fall in, I'd feel so helpless. I would be buffered around by the lapping water and I would not know which way to go to get out. But now, I may flounder in that pool for a short time, but I am getting better at coming to my senses more quickly and swimming to the edge before pulling myself up and out.
I guess another thing that I would like to say is just how very much I appreciate anyone who comes by and reads my little missives here. Even when no one comments, it is a remarkable feeling, knowing that there are others who share in my feelings, even for just a passing moment. I appreciate everyone on my friends list and beyond, and I treasure you all, for your uniqueness and for the greater awareness that you help bring me. When you have been through the things that I have been through, there is an almost irresistible draw that compels you to isolate yourself, to remain alone. A lot of people do this because after all, if you never extend yourself, you can't be hurt by people like you were before. But you have to branch out, you have to trust people, and love them, and realize that you are worthy of their attention. We all have a lot to offer the world, no matter whether it is fandom or just an appreciation of the beautiful objects that man has created; or whether it is your drive to change the world or just to bring harmony to those you know and love.
The internet has connected me to a tremendous well of charismatic, imaginative, fascinating people and I hold some of the friendships I have made through the computer screen more dearly than many of the friendships I have made face-to-face. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel gifted by the people and places the internet has introduced me to. <3