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[paganangel3]

I feel like screaming at her, "I am here! You can't turn your back to me and pretend I don't exist!" I hardly feel human around her and she can't see that. When I talk to her sometimes my words fall on deafened ears, I could tell her my arm fell off and she would hardly notice. I try so hard to reach out to her because I care and fear losing her,

Comments

[coyotemorpheus]

Ok. Step one: deep breath. Step two: repeat step one a couple times just to make sure it kicks in. Now, let's look at this situation again. This isn't to provide any excuses for any actions done or words said, however, there are many reasons why she could have acted the way she did, which could have absolutely nothing in the world to do with you or your friendship. Also, intentions, actions, and perceptions may all differ, even in so few words. There can be a wide gap between what one means to say, what one acutally says, and how others percieve what one says. If there is a direct correlation between events though, and the issue is definately about your frienship with each other, then I caution against assumptions, as warranted as they may feel. If ever there was a "need" to talk to her, might I suggest that in light of recent events now is an appropriate time? Perhaps you could go to her and suggest that the two of you need to discuss your feelings about this incident, because regardless of what else has occured, those feelings are warranted. If she does not consider this necessary, then you may need to bring up the issue of friendship. By all means rely on your gut instinct, but be certain that you seek factual evidence to back it up when making a decision based upon your impressions. I'm sure that everything will work out in the end. Hope all goes well~! >%0P

[paganangel3]

I did tell her what my impressions were and she did nothing to convince me otherwise. Like an automated toy the words, "I am sorry you feel that way" came out of her mouth with no sympathy or sincerity. I told her that if we were friends then she shouldn't just shut me out and she ignored me, then went about typing on her computer. There were moments of silence taht pierced me. She didn't respond at all to the questions I asked her. I told her that she can't pretend I don't exist, walked away, and she did nothing to assure me otherwise.

[coyotemorpheus]

Not a livejournal user. Came across your postings in the random section.

Really sorry that you have had a difficult time. Though with regards to your most recent post, maybe I could help provide an insight.

Whenver I feel let down by my friends, or anyone, I will try to think of it as this - friendship or any relationship is always a 2-way thingy. Maybe your friend feels drained and tired, emotionally racked. She may need some time alone, a break, a safe haven and place to herself.

By confronting her, you may have triggered her defensive shell. (Prob writing a note or letter may be more appropriate). Something that does not allow anything else to get through. I'd suggest that you give her some time alone, and if she's breaking the friendship because of some selfish reasons, then let it be. We grow and learn from whatever experiences and encounters.

Hope it helps.