(no subject)
So, here are some suggestions for when you visit the AEC and find me behind the desk:
1) Demand in strident tones to see a vet immediately without having your dog weighed, filling out any paperwork, or being in the lobby longer than 43.28 seconds while I'm trying to gently tell a very sweet little old couple that we have no idea why their dog died suddenly and would they like us to just pop little Fluffy's remains in the freezer for them for the stunningly low price of $18.30?
2) Once you've shut up and i've given you the paperwork to fill out, argue with me about why i need your phone number, cell phone number, driver's license number, work phone number, method of payment and then threaten to sue me for asking for your social security number.
3) Please, just to make my night perfect, totally ignore the large, highlighted, bold print at the the top of the form which politely asks you to "please print, and fill in all information boxes completely".
4) When you finally throw the clipboard holding your check-in form on my desk, immediately storm back into the exam room and slam the door. This really makes you look like a wonderfully concerned, mature pet owner.
5) Once i realise that i can't read anything you've written because you wrote it in cursive and you've only filled out half of the form anyway, all i ask is that you become very angry and offer to take your business elsewhere.
6) After making said offer of removing yourself from out facility, please, by all means, disappoint me by remaining here.
7) Once you've been in an exam room for ten minutes become very impatient and come and harass me at my desk while i'm trying to give some sobbing person directions to our facility over the telephone so that she can bring us her beloved animal which has just been run over by neighbourhood hooligans and will probably bleed to death before she gets here.
8) When aforementioned critical, life-or-death case arrives, become very irate that it is rushed to the back, while your pomeranian who has been "not feeling quite well today" is still waiting in an exam room.
9) Frequently demand to see the doctor after being informed that the doctor is in the middle of a critical surgery.
10) Ask me lots and lots of questions about the details of your pet's condition after i have made it very clear several times that i'm not a vet and i do not know every nuance of their pet's bloodwork.
11) Call me names under your breath when you're standing two feet away from me and think i'm not listening. This will always ensure prompt service: ie, i will go back to the treatment area and tell everyone what a bitch your are while letting you think that i'm actually checking on the progress of your pet's condition.
12)When the time comes to pay argue every charge and claim that you never actually approved and signed the itemized treatment plan. Then, by all means, please, take it personally and become very insulted when our Telecheck machine will not process your check because you have a bad account history or no account history at all.
13) And, when you leave, make sure you tell me exactly how you feel, and don't mince words either. I exist behind this desk simply as a target at which you can vent your impotent rage. Thank you!
These are just a few guidelines, however, i'm sure you can get much more creative about being an asshole at our clinic after it's your own damn fault you left the rat poison lying out, or shut your dog in a garage with an open bottle of antifreeze, or let your intact male dog "off his leash for just a minute", or ignored the fact that your cat was developing a large swelling on its leg a week ago which still hasn't gone away, etc etc.
God, i hate stupid people.
1) Demand in strident tones to see a vet immediately without having your dog weighed, filling out any paperwork, or being in the lobby longer than 43.28 seconds while I'm trying to gently tell a very sweet little old couple that we have no idea why their dog died suddenly and would they like us to just pop little Fluffy's remains in the freezer for them for the stunningly low price of $18.30?
2) Once you've shut up and i've given you the paperwork to fill out, argue with me about why i need your phone number, cell phone number, driver's license number, work phone number, method of payment and then threaten to sue me for asking for your social security number.
3) Please, just to make my night perfect, totally ignore the large, highlighted, bold print at the the top of the form which politely asks you to "please print, and fill in all information boxes completely".
4) When you finally throw the clipboard holding your check-in form on my desk, immediately storm back into the exam room and slam the door. This really makes you look like a wonderfully concerned, mature pet owner.
5) Once i realise that i can't read anything you've written because you wrote it in cursive and you've only filled out half of the form anyway, all i ask is that you become very angry and offer to take your business elsewhere.
6) After making said offer of removing yourself from out facility, please, by all means, disappoint me by remaining here.
7) Once you've been in an exam room for ten minutes become very impatient and come and harass me at my desk while i'm trying to give some sobbing person directions to our facility over the telephone so that she can bring us her beloved animal which has just been run over by neighbourhood hooligans and will probably bleed to death before she gets here.
8) When aforementioned critical, life-or-death case arrives, become very irate that it is rushed to the back, while your pomeranian who has been "not feeling quite well today" is still waiting in an exam room.
9) Frequently demand to see the doctor after being informed that the doctor is in the middle of a critical surgery.
10) Ask me lots and lots of questions about the details of your pet's condition after i have made it very clear several times that i'm not a vet and i do not know every nuance of their pet's bloodwork.
11) Call me names under your breath when you're standing two feet away from me and think i'm not listening. This will always ensure prompt service: ie, i will go back to the treatment area and tell everyone what a bitch your are while letting you think that i'm actually checking on the progress of your pet's condition.
12)When the time comes to pay argue every charge and claim that you never actually approved and signed the itemized treatment plan. Then, by all means, please, take it personally and become very insulted when our Telecheck machine will not process your check because you have a bad account history or no account history at all.
13) And, when you leave, make sure you tell me exactly how you feel, and don't mince words either. I exist behind this desk simply as a target at which you can vent your impotent rage. Thank you!
These are just a few guidelines, however, i'm sure you can get much more creative about being an asshole at our clinic after it's your own damn fault you left the rat poison lying out, or shut your dog in a garage with an open bottle of antifreeze, or let your intact male dog "off his leash for just a minute", or ignored the fact that your cat was developing a large swelling on its leg a week ago which still hasn't gone away, etc etc.
God, i hate stupid people.