(no subject)

Dec 11, 2006 14:19


Ive come to the conclusion: i dont like change
I dont know how to deal with it, or more importantly accept it. I have a hard time getting over it and facing it. Its truely difficult 
for me to deal with. Maybe thats why i dont show when im sad... it goes beyond that fact that i dont show that im 
sad... i cant show it. I must get that from my dad...
Ive lost so many people already in the past two years between my uncle bob, my grandpa, numerous friends, 
and tucker... and now my grandma... why another one?
Im most worried about my mom... she has no parents left... i couldnt even imagine how id feel if i lost my mom or dad... 
or both. I havent seen my mom for 5 days. I feel like i havent even been there for her... and i feel terrible. She didnt leave my grandmas 
house at all.... and im broken down so much that i cant even PRETEND to be strong like i usually would
i cant handle other sad people.. i cant listen to thier problems.. i just cant. i think its because all the 
advise i give them, i know i should take for myself... but i wont. and i dont. and i feel like a hypocrit if i give them advise.
I'll miss my grandma. I guess its a little comforting to know that its what she wanted.. and shes with my grandpa.
it still make me really sad though. With everything thats going on.. i should be getting use to the fact that everything good
always come to an end. Always.

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