long time, no post
hmmm, not much to put here. I just feel like writing something. I haven't really posted much in the past year, on myspace or on here. I haven't taken the time. My night terrors have been gone for the most part, too. well, until last week. They came back several nights last week, but they've faded from my memory at this point. They'll come back later, but for the moment, they pass from my memory. I wonder if they'll ever stop for good. I mean, maybe they will one day, if I ever am ok with a lot of my past. But then, I'm not sure if I will ever be. There is a lot of my past that I don't want to think about, and a lot that I've blacked out and only remember in night terrors. Sometimes, they feel more like a glimpse into the darker parts of my soul than a dream. It feels like it's all my choice what happens, and yet I have no control. Like there's two of me, and I can't connect to the one that is lost.
I've been thinking about using the night terrors to good use, and making them the inspiration for my next book I attempt. That's assuming that I don't give up on it like every book I've started.
Sometimes I feel like the people I associate myself with just take and take, and never give anything back. and I guess a lot of it is my fault. I know that I'm not very prone to the chance of asking for help, or for actually venting to someone. At least not directly, anyway. It's always through writing when I vent, and usually through a blog. I guess it's a good sign that I haven't felt the need to post in over a year, because it means I haven't really needed to vent. I dunno. I guess we'll see.
I've been thinking about using the night terrors to good use, and making them the inspiration for my next book I attempt. That's assuming that I don't give up on it like every book I've started.
Sometimes I feel like the people I associate myself with just take and take, and never give anything back. and I guess a lot of it is my fault. I know that I'm not very prone to the chance of asking for help, or for actually venting to someone. At least not directly, anyway. It's always through writing when I vent, and usually through a blog. I guess it's a good sign that I haven't felt the need to post in over a year, because it means I haven't really needed to vent. I dunno. I guess we'll see.