Breathe Easy 8/8
Title: Breathe Easy
Author: padacklesika @ Ika Criss-Colfer Abdullah
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2774
Warnings: Character death
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they will never be mine
Summary: Future!fic. Kurt could feel Blaine slipping away, but it was worse than he could have imagined.
A/N: This story is dedicated to Lupus Awareness, to my fellow lupies, and to a friend of mine who lost her battle with lupus. Breathe Easy was beta'd by Sarah
EIGHT: That's All I'm Breathing For
Darren couldn’t stop gnawing. He had been standing in front of the mirror like forever - checking himself out, making sure his appearance was tiptop for the thousandth time yet he still felt anxious. He was positive he would start puking soon. He wasn’t certain anymore that this was a good plan. Maybe he should cancel everything and call it a day.
“You look like you just saw a ghost, buddy.”
“Geez!” Darren clutched a hand on his chest, taken aback by the sudden presence behind him. “You scared me!”
The middle-aged man chuckled, patting the younger man’s back with a tender motion. “Take a deep breath, Dare, or you’ll faint. Your Pop would be humiliated if this event was canceled.”
“I can’t! I think I’m gonna be sick!” Darren said with a pained look on his face.
“Calm down. This is your day. Everything is gonna be okay. You are just nervous. That’s typical for someone who is in your place.” The man squeezed Darren’s shoulders as support.
Darren took a deep breath like he had been told and huffed a couple of times to calm himself. He turned to the man behind him, giving him a much more comfortable smile. “Thanks, Uncle Seb.”
Sebastian grinned. “You okay?”
“Yeah… I’m still jumpy but I feel so much better.” Darren admitted. “Do I look okay? I look weird don’t I? I can’t seem to do anything right! My tux is slightly bigger, my hair looks awful and-”
“You look great, Dare.” Sebastian answered sincerely.
“I do?” Darren seemed uncertain with the response.
“Yes, positive. Have I ever lied to you before?”
Darren rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like a million times! Do I need to remind you about Halloween?”
Sebastian laughed, head thrown back in delight. The man’s laugh echoed all over the room and there was no doubt people outside could hear it too but Darren didn’t mind. It was a happy occasion after all. Everybody should be cheerful on this day.
“Stupid bowtie!” Sebastian’s laugh gradually died when Darren threw the black undone bowtie on the floor. The boy looked a little exasperated at his failure.
Sebastian picked up the poor thing and held Darren still in his place. “Let me do it for you. There’s no need to get irritated by a simple thing like this, Darren.”
Darren sighed regretfully. “I’m sorry, Uncle Seb. I just can’t get anything done properly. It’s just a fucking bowtie, how hard can it be?”
“You are telling me.” Sebastian said softly. “I have never worn one of these in my entire life. I always stick to ties. Your daddies on the other hand were experts. They could get it done in seconds.”
Darren beamed freely thinking about his fathers. They were the best parents anyone could ask for. He wished both of them could be here with him on this very day but that would be wishful thinking. What was gone couldn’t be brought back. He had learned that the hard way.
“Who would have thought, after being raised by Kurt and with a constant presence of me and Cooper, you turned out to be straight!” Sebastian chatted happily, finishing his task on the bowtie.
Darren narrowed his eyes at Sebastian, slightly bothered that his sexuality had been used as a joke to the older man. He didn’t choose to be heterosexual and there was nothing wrong with that. There was nothing wrong being gay either because it wasn’t a choice, it’s who we were.
Sebastian chuckled, placing a hand on Darren’s shoulders. “No need to get angry at me kiddo. I was just teasing you! I’m not judging you, alright? How many times do I have to tell you that it’s okay? I want you to be who you truly are with no shame, no regret. We are who we are.”
“Thank you, Uncle Seb. Thanks for being here with me.” Darren embraced the taller man. Despite being younger, Darren was still shorter than Sebastian. He was cute and compact like his Dad.
Sebastian kissed the boy’s cheek. “But just so you know, you are the gayest straight man I have ever known.”
Darren snorted, pushing the older man away. Sebastian had become like a father to Darren but he would never replace Blaine or Kurt in the boy’s heart. The door flung open and Jessica gracefully walked in. She was wearing a one-shoulder purple dress with diamond embedded around the bottom, looking very much like a princess. Darren was somewhat dazed to see his little sister looked so stunning. “Dare, they told me to come and get you. It’s time.”
“How do I look, Jess?” Darren asked worriedly, twirling around so that his sister could see his appearance from all angles.
Jessica winked. “You look amazing, my dear brother.”
“Okay come on, let’s go guys.” Sebastian ushered the two siblings through the door and followed them. A soft click sounded as Sebastian closed the door behind him.
“Everyone is here! I’m so excited!” Jessica gushed, taking Darren’s hand in hers and strode a little too fast for Darren to keep up.
The door to the garden was opened and Darren swallowed hard seeing all the people. They were looking straight at him and it made him uncomfortable. He was used to being the center of attention but today was different. Chris wasn’t helping either when he kept smiling mischievously at Darren from far, like he had arranged something cynical for his big brother.
All of Darren’s fears and uncertainties were suddenly gone when he saw Kurt standing a few feet in front of him. His Papa looked nice as always, wearing a designer tux and designer shoes. Darren thought his Papa looked so much better than him right now. Kurt Anderson-Hummel was truly a flawless human being.
“Pa…” Darren came to Kurt, engulfing the man in a bear hug. There was no doubt he could make the older man suffocate.
Darren frowned when his Papa was all but sobbing. Kurt was content for his son but Darren looked exactly like Blaine on their wedding day. It was one of the recollections he had of Blaine that he would forever cherish. There was no trace of Darren’s birth mother in his son at all, everything about Darren August screamed of Blaine. Kurt’s heart ached for someone that he longed for.
“Pa, please don’t cry. It breaks my heart every time I see you cry.” Darren crooned, wiping Kurt’s tears with his thumbs.
Kurt chuckled quietly, his sob slowly quieted down as he stared at his first born. “I am happy for you, kiddo. You are all grown up, ahead in life and now you are going to be someone’s husband. Your Dad would have been proud.”
“I wish he could be here with us, Pa.” Darren choked on the words.
“He is.” Kurt croaked, voice thick with sorrow and joy all at once. “Even if we can’t see him, he’s always with us.”
If only Blaine were here, his husband would be the happiest man in the world. He would have been proud of Darren, and would probably be teasing their boy in front of his friends and wife-to-be by telling off the stories of Darren’s childhood. Blaine’s aura would boost everyone and there was no doubt he would sing for their son and daughter-in-law.
It would be an amazing memory to keep… if only it could happen.
“Here…” Kurt breathed, placing something on Darren’s palm, making the boy speechless.
“Pa…” Darren gasped, gazing at his Papa with tears filled eyes. He knew what it was. He had seen it before.
Kurt smiled lovingly at Darren, caressing his son’s face with affection. “Your Dad had given me this ring when we got engaged. He had once made me a ring that was made with gum wrappers which I still keep. I treasured every gift your Dad gave me, not even once cross my mind to throw or give any of them away, but he wanted you to have this, Dare. He told me to give it to you when the right time came and it just did. He said that this ring was something for you to remember him by…”
Darren sucked in a breath. His fingers wrapped tightly around the precious ring. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t cry today no matter what but the promise was difficult for him to honor anymore. Here he was, talking to his Papa, reminiscing about his late Dad and it had become too much for him to handle. “I’ll cherish this with my life…”
Kurt smiled, kissing his eldest’s forehead with love.
“Uh… Mr. Anderson-Hummel…” A voice all of a sudden interjected. “Can we start now? Your bride is waiting.”
Darren cleared his throat, whisking his sadness away. “Yeah, of course.”
“Get a grip. You are an Anderson-Hummel, remember that.” Kurt said, grasping Darren’s hand one last time.
Darren smiled, leaning in to give his Papa who was a little bit taller than him a kiss. “I love you, Pa.”
“I love you too, son.” Kurt replied, watching his son as he went to the front, joining his uncle, brother and sister. Christopher and Cooper stood there next to Darren, serving as groomsmen while Jessica who was one of the bridesmaids was standing in another direction.
Kurt waved at Sebastian and his little family. The ex-Warbler had never engaged or married to anyone but he had found his true love a few years back, in the form of a little girl who he adopted and his life had been perfect then. Sebastian’s daughter had just graduated from high school and had been thinking of going somewhere else outside of New York to further her studies. And against all odds, the Smythes and the Anderson-Hummels were really close like one big happy family.
Darren had followed both Kurt and Cooper’s footsteps. He had become a Hollywood actor as well as a Broadway superstar. Boys, girls, men and women were crazy over him and many of them were devastated when Darren decided to get married at the aged of twenty-eight to his college sweetheart. Darren August was looking more and more like his Dad each day. He was the exact copy of Blaine; there was no arguing in that. Kurt wasn’t exaggerating when he said that even their voices sounded almost alike.
Christopher Austin was now a fashion designer. He slowly made his way up without using Darren’s popularity to be a success. Everybody knew he was the brother of Darren and the son of Broadway star; Kurt Anderson-Hummel and Juilliard legend; Blaine Anderson-Hummel but Chris refused to be treated differently just based on his birth right. He wanted to be recognized by himself. Just because he was born to two stars, didn’t mean he was one too. He could be a freaking black hole instead of supernova for all his care.
True to her words when she was younger, Jessica Summer did become a pianist. She had continued Blaine’s legacy in Juilliard by being a tutor there. She had been teaching all kinds of musical instruments and had even won some prestige’s awards in music. She was engaged to one of her older brother’s friends and planning to get married soon. Kurt thought history had been repeated itself - another combination of Broadway and Juilliard family in the making.
When Blaine died, not only was Kurt hurt but their children were having a hard time dealing as well. During the first few weeks, Christopher couldn’t stop asking about Blaine. Kurt had explained to the four-year-old over and over again that Daddy was gone but the boy would say Daddy was coming home after work repeatedly when in fact Daddy wasn’t coming home this time. It broke everyone’s heart especially Kurt, Sebastian and Cooper who had always been close to the boy because of the denial.
Jess nonetheless would have nightmares every night. She would wail, scream and thrash on the bed and even Kurt failed to soothe her. She would bawl herself to sleep and the same thing would happen again on different nights and it lasted for almost a month. Kurt had been distressed by it and called for help so then came Quinn Fabray. Quinn had taken Jessica to Texas for a few weeks to lessen Kurt’s burden of losing a husband and Jess seemed like she was doing okay for a couple of days but then she started to miss Kurt and her brothers so Quinn had to bring her back to her Papa.
Despite being the birth mother to Jess and Chris, Quinn had no legal rights on the twins because they were legally Kurt and Blaine’s so even though it was challenging for her to ‘return’ Jessica back, she did it anyway.
At the beginning Kurt had been worried about Darren. His son didn’t seem affected by Blaine’s death because he persisted as his usual self. For weeks, Darren would wake up, eat breakfast, goes to school and do everything he routinely did. Frankly, Kurt was terrified because he thought Darren had been repressing his memories of Blaine. He didn’t want his children to ever forget about their Dad until one day he witnessed it himself.
Kurt was awakened in the middle of the night by the sound coming from the family room. At first he thought it was a burglar or something but all he saw was Darren, watching some old videos of their family. The boy would replay the scene that had Blaine in it again and again and then silently cried by himself. Seeing it, Kurt was crushed. Darren was just an eight-year-old boy. He shouldn’t be swallowing all the pain inside alone. Kurt had talked to a therapist about Darren’s behavior and the conclusion he received was to let Darren be. It was the boy’s way of grieving and everyone needed to respect that.
As for Kurt, he spent his night and day crying over his lost. He would take Blaine’s picture and shirts with him to sleep just to feel like Blaine was there with him. The picture was to imagine Blaine while the shirt was to sense his husband’s presence even though he knew it wasn’t the same and nothing was ever going to be the same again. It was unhealthy, he knew that but he wasn’t ready to let his husband go. He wanted to keep his remembrances of Blaine a little bit longer. They were together since high school. High school. It was something that wouldn’t go away easily.
Kurt needed time and he did get all the time he needed to recover back but it still wasn’t enough.
At first Kurt couldn’t grasp the fact that Blaine had died from lupus complications. He had been living in denial for a while before he finally opened his eyes. With the help of Cooper, Kurt had built a lupus foundation all over the United States. His prospect was to help the patients and their families through the disease. When they had grown up, Chris, Jess and Dare had helped their Papa and Uncle Coop manage the organization that was created in honor of their late Dad. They had been using their connections and reputations to help others so nobody else would suffer.
Kurt remained as a widower to this day. Ever since Blaine died, his heart was closed for anybody else to enter and steal. His love was solely for Blaine. He had gone on dates, had one-night stands but he never remarried or been in a relationship with anyone else either. Kurt raised his children alone and by himself while still working in Broadway but once in a while Cooper or Sebastian would lend him a hand, adoring his children which Kurt truly appreciate because his kids deserve to be loved.
Every time he woke up in the morning for the past twenty years Kurt would reach out a hand next to him, hoping it would land on Blaine’s thigh or chest or something, but all he touched was the sheets and empty bed. For so many years he had cried too much that he didn’t know how not to cry anymore. It had become a part of his life.
Now, after twenty years of being alone without Blaine by his side, Kurt’s wait was coming to an end. There would be no more sleepless nights after this, no more loneliness because the wait was going to be over soon.
He had been waiting forever.
He was waiting for the day he could finally meet Blaine again.
That was all he was breathing for.
THE END
Author: padacklesika @ Ika Criss-Colfer Abdullah
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 2774
Warnings: Character death
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, they will never be mine
Summary: Future!fic. Kurt could feel Blaine slipping away, but it was worse than he could have imagined.
A/N: This story is dedicated to Lupus Awareness, to my fellow lupies, and to a friend of mine who lost her battle with lupus. Breathe Easy was beta'd by Sarah
EIGHT: That's All I'm Breathing For
Darren couldn’t stop gnawing. He had been standing in front of the mirror like forever - checking himself out, making sure his appearance was tiptop for the thousandth time yet he still felt anxious. He was positive he would start puking soon. He wasn’t certain anymore that this was a good plan. Maybe he should cancel everything and call it a day.
“You look like you just saw a ghost, buddy.”
“Geez!” Darren clutched a hand on his chest, taken aback by the sudden presence behind him. “You scared me!”
The middle-aged man chuckled, patting the younger man’s back with a tender motion. “Take a deep breath, Dare, or you’ll faint. Your Pop would be humiliated if this event was canceled.”
“I can’t! I think I’m gonna be sick!” Darren said with a pained look on his face.
“Calm down. This is your day. Everything is gonna be okay. You are just nervous. That’s typical for someone who is in your place.” The man squeezed Darren’s shoulders as support.
Darren took a deep breath like he had been told and huffed a couple of times to calm himself. He turned to the man behind him, giving him a much more comfortable smile. “Thanks, Uncle Seb.”
Sebastian grinned. “You okay?”
“Yeah… I’m still jumpy but I feel so much better.” Darren admitted. “Do I look okay? I look weird don’t I? I can’t seem to do anything right! My tux is slightly bigger, my hair looks awful and-”
“You look great, Dare.” Sebastian answered sincerely.
“I do?” Darren seemed uncertain with the response.
“Yes, positive. Have I ever lied to you before?”
Darren rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like a million times! Do I need to remind you about Halloween?”
Sebastian laughed, head thrown back in delight. The man’s laugh echoed all over the room and there was no doubt people outside could hear it too but Darren didn’t mind. It was a happy occasion after all. Everybody should be cheerful on this day.
“Stupid bowtie!” Sebastian’s laugh gradually died when Darren threw the black undone bowtie on the floor. The boy looked a little exasperated at his failure.
Sebastian picked up the poor thing and held Darren still in his place. “Let me do it for you. There’s no need to get irritated by a simple thing like this, Darren.”
Darren sighed regretfully. “I’m sorry, Uncle Seb. I just can’t get anything done properly. It’s just a fucking bowtie, how hard can it be?”
“You are telling me.” Sebastian said softly. “I have never worn one of these in my entire life. I always stick to ties. Your daddies on the other hand were experts. They could get it done in seconds.”
Darren beamed freely thinking about his fathers. They were the best parents anyone could ask for. He wished both of them could be here with him on this very day but that would be wishful thinking. What was gone couldn’t be brought back. He had learned that the hard way.
“Who would have thought, after being raised by Kurt and with a constant presence of me and Cooper, you turned out to be straight!” Sebastian chatted happily, finishing his task on the bowtie.
Darren narrowed his eyes at Sebastian, slightly bothered that his sexuality had been used as a joke to the older man. He didn’t choose to be heterosexual and there was nothing wrong with that. There was nothing wrong being gay either because it wasn’t a choice, it’s who we were.
Sebastian chuckled, placing a hand on Darren’s shoulders. “No need to get angry at me kiddo. I was just teasing you! I’m not judging you, alright? How many times do I have to tell you that it’s okay? I want you to be who you truly are with no shame, no regret. We are who we are.”
“Thank you, Uncle Seb. Thanks for being here with me.” Darren embraced the taller man. Despite being younger, Darren was still shorter than Sebastian. He was cute and compact like his Dad.
Sebastian kissed the boy’s cheek. “But just so you know, you are the gayest straight man I have ever known.”
Darren snorted, pushing the older man away. Sebastian had become like a father to Darren but he would never replace Blaine or Kurt in the boy’s heart. The door flung open and Jessica gracefully walked in. She was wearing a one-shoulder purple dress with diamond embedded around the bottom, looking very much like a princess. Darren was somewhat dazed to see his little sister looked so stunning. “Dare, they told me to come and get you. It’s time.”
“How do I look, Jess?” Darren asked worriedly, twirling around so that his sister could see his appearance from all angles.
Jessica winked. “You look amazing, my dear brother.”
“Okay come on, let’s go guys.” Sebastian ushered the two siblings through the door and followed them. A soft click sounded as Sebastian closed the door behind him.
“Everyone is here! I’m so excited!” Jessica gushed, taking Darren’s hand in hers and strode a little too fast for Darren to keep up.
The door to the garden was opened and Darren swallowed hard seeing all the people. They were looking straight at him and it made him uncomfortable. He was used to being the center of attention but today was different. Chris wasn’t helping either when he kept smiling mischievously at Darren from far, like he had arranged something cynical for his big brother.
All of Darren’s fears and uncertainties were suddenly gone when he saw Kurt standing a few feet in front of him. His Papa looked nice as always, wearing a designer tux and designer shoes. Darren thought his Papa looked so much better than him right now. Kurt Anderson-Hummel was truly a flawless human being.
“Pa…” Darren came to Kurt, engulfing the man in a bear hug. There was no doubt he could make the older man suffocate.
Darren frowned when his Papa was all but sobbing. Kurt was content for his son but Darren looked exactly like Blaine on their wedding day. It was one of the recollections he had of Blaine that he would forever cherish. There was no trace of Darren’s birth mother in his son at all, everything about Darren August screamed of Blaine. Kurt’s heart ached for someone that he longed for.
“Pa, please don’t cry. It breaks my heart every time I see you cry.” Darren crooned, wiping Kurt’s tears with his thumbs.
Kurt chuckled quietly, his sob slowly quieted down as he stared at his first born. “I am happy for you, kiddo. You are all grown up, ahead in life and now you are going to be someone’s husband. Your Dad would have been proud.”
“I wish he could be here with us, Pa.” Darren choked on the words.
“He is.” Kurt croaked, voice thick with sorrow and joy all at once. “Even if we can’t see him, he’s always with us.”
If only Blaine were here, his husband would be the happiest man in the world. He would have been proud of Darren, and would probably be teasing their boy in front of his friends and wife-to-be by telling off the stories of Darren’s childhood. Blaine’s aura would boost everyone and there was no doubt he would sing for their son and daughter-in-law.
It would be an amazing memory to keep… if only it could happen.
“Here…” Kurt breathed, placing something on Darren’s palm, making the boy speechless.
“Pa…” Darren gasped, gazing at his Papa with tears filled eyes. He knew what it was. He had seen it before.
Kurt smiled lovingly at Darren, caressing his son’s face with affection. “Your Dad had given me this ring when we got engaged. He had once made me a ring that was made with gum wrappers which I still keep. I treasured every gift your Dad gave me, not even once cross my mind to throw or give any of them away, but he wanted you to have this, Dare. He told me to give it to you when the right time came and it just did. He said that this ring was something for you to remember him by…”
Darren sucked in a breath. His fingers wrapped tightly around the precious ring. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t cry today no matter what but the promise was difficult for him to honor anymore. Here he was, talking to his Papa, reminiscing about his late Dad and it had become too much for him to handle. “I’ll cherish this with my life…”
Kurt smiled, kissing his eldest’s forehead with love.
“Uh… Mr. Anderson-Hummel…” A voice all of a sudden interjected. “Can we start now? Your bride is waiting.”
Darren cleared his throat, whisking his sadness away. “Yeah, of course.”
“Get a grip. You are an Anderson-Hummel, remember that.” Kurt said, grasping Darren’s hand one last time.
Darren smiled, leaning in to give his Papa who was a little bit taller than him a kiss. “I love you, Pa.”
“I love you too, son.” Kurt replied, watching his son as he went to the front, joining his uncle, brother and sister. Christopher and Cooper stood there next to Darren, serving as groomsmen while Jessica who was one of the bridesmaids was standing in another direction.
Kurt waved at Sebastian and his little family. The ex-Warbler had never engaged or married to anyone but he had found his true love a few years back, in the form of a little girl who he adopted and his life had been perfect then. Sebastian’s daughter had just graduated from high school and had been thinking of going somewhere else outside of New York to further her studies. And against all odds, the Smythes and the Anderson-Hummels were really close like one big happy family.
Darren had followed both Kurt and Cooper’s footsteps. He had become a Hollywood actor as well as a Broadway superstar. Boys, girls, men and women were crazy over him and many of them were devastated when Darren decided to get married at the aged of twenty-eight to his college sweetheart. Darren August was looking more and more like his Dad each day. He was the exact copy of Blaine; there was no arguing in that. Kurt wasn’t exaggerating when he said that even their voices sounded almost alike.
Christopher Austin was now a fashion designer. He slowly made his way up without using Darren’s popularity to be a success. Everybody knew he was the brother of Darren and the son of Broadway star; Kurt Anderson-Hummel and Juilliard legend; Blaine Anderson-Hummel but Chris refused to be treated differently just based on his birth right. He wanted to be recognized by himself. Just because he was born to two stars, didn’t mean he was one too. He could be a freaking black hole instead of supernova for all his care.
True to her words when she was younger, Jessica Summer did become a pianist. She had continued Blaine’s legacy in Juilliard by being a tutor there. She had been teaching all kinds of musical instruments and had even won some prestige’s awards in music. She was engaged to one of her older brother’s friends and planning to get married soon. Kurt thought history had been repeated itself - another combination of Broadway and Juilliard family in the making.
When Blaine died, not only was Kurt hurt but their children were having a hard time dealing as well. During the first few weeks, Christopher couldn’t stop asking about Blaine. Kurt had explained to the four-year-old over and over again that Daddy was gone but the boy would say Daddy was coming home after work repeatedly when in fact Daddy wasn’t coming home this time. It broke everyone’s heart especially Kurt, Sebastian and Cooper who had always been close to the boy because of the denial.
Jess nonetheless would have nightmares every night. She would wail, scream and thrash on the bed and even Kurt failed to soothe her. She would bawl herself to sleep and the same thing would happen again on different nights and it lasted for almost a month. Kurt had been distressed by it and called for help so then came Quinn Fabray. Quinn had taken Jessica to Texas for a few weeks to lessen Kurt’s burden of losing a husband and Jess seemed like she was doing okay for a couple of days but then she started to miss Kurt and her brothers so Quinn had to bring her back to her Papa.
Despite being the birth mother to Jess and Chris, Quinn had no legal rights on the twins because they were legally Kurt and Blaine’s so even though it was challenging for her to ‘return’ Jessica back, she did it anyway.
At the beginning Kurt had been worried about Darren. His son didn’t seem affected by Blaine’s death because he persisted as his usual self. For weeks, Darren would wake up, eat breakfast, goes to school and do everything he routinely did. Frankly, Kurt was terrified because he thought Darren had been repressing his memories of Blaine. He didn’t want his children to ever forget about their Dad until one day he witnessed it himself.
Kurt was awakened in the middle of the night by the sound coming from the family room. At first he thought it was a burglar or something but all he saw was Darren, watching some old videos of their family. The boy would replay the scene that had Blaine in it again and again and then silently cried by himself. Seeing it, Kurt was crushed. Darren was just an eight-year-old boy. He shouldn’t be swallowing all the pain inside alone. Kurt had talked to a therapist about Darren’s behavior and the conclusion he received was to let Darren be. It was the boy’s way of grieving and everyone needed to respect that.
As for Kurt, he spent his night and day crying over his lost. He would take Blaine’s picture and shirts with him to sleep just to feel like Blaine was there with him. The picture was to imagine Blaine while the shirt was to sense his husband’s presence even though he knew it wasn’t the same and nothing was ever going to be the same again. It was unhealthy, he knew that but he wasn’t ready to let his husband go. He wanted to keep his remembrances of Blaine a little bit longer. They were together since high school. High school. It was something that wouldn’t go away easily.
Kurt needed time and he did get all the time he needed to recover back but it still wasn’t enough.
At first Kurt couldn’t grasp the fact that Blaine had died from lupus complications. He had been living in denial for a while before he finally opened his eyes. With the help of Cooper, Kurt had built a lupus foundation all over the United States. His prospect was to help the patients and their families through the disease. When they had grown up, Chris, Jess and Dare had helped their Papa and Uncle Coop manage the organization that was created in honor of their late Dad. They had been using their connections and reputations to help others so nobody else would suffer.
Kurt remained as a widower to this day. Ever since Blaine died, his heart was closed for anybody else to enter and steal. His love was solely for Blaine. He had gone on dates, had one-night stands but he never remarried or been in a relationship with anyone else either. Kurt raised his children alone and by himself while still working in Broadway but once in a while Cooper or Sebastian would lend him a hand, adoring his children which Kurt truly appreciate because his kids deserve to be loved.
Every time he woke up in the morning for the past twenty years Kurt would reach out a hand next to him, hoping it would land on Blaine’s thigh or chest or something, but all he touched was the sheets and empty bed. For so many years he had cried too much that he didn’t know how not to cry anymore. It had become a part of his life.
Now, after twenty years of being alone without Blaine by his side, Kurt’s wait was coming to an end. There would be no more sleepless nights after this, no more loneliness because the wait was going to be over soon.
He had been waiting forever.
He was waiting for the day he could finally meet Blaine again.
That was all he was breathing for.
THE END