So lost
Well here i am again on LJ when there's nowhere else to turn. i have been abanndoned at home by my friend thats rooming with me...after i gave up going out dancing so he wouldnt have to be suck at home alone. But then again i always do this. Expect too much, or give too much ya know? Friggin' ridiculous is what it is. i dont know why it's this way...you would think that by now i would have learned my lesson..i should say lessons. Plenty of previous expierences that should really open my eyes and yet somehow i just cant act jaded. God knows i think extremely bitter. i mean my mind is fucked up and i am so paranoid on the inside or extremely distrusting within my own thought processes but when it comes to my actually actions...nothing changes. And thus...nothing changes. Everything stays the same as it was before and will be after. And it's not the simple event such as being abanndoned at home. i mean i am not anyone's social anchor, it's just this has got me thinking about alot of stuff. Stuff i have really been thinking about for a long time now. i just want my old friends back. i want Melissa back in SA or i wanna move to LV. i miss people that i love. i miss tabitha. i miss Greg, i wish he werent in Austin and i wish that everyone else weren't in Dallas, but life is what it is i suppose. And i am poor...like always. i mean in all honesty i live comfortably, but i could be living much better under different circumstances...some under my control, some not. Either way i need to stop this melo=dramatic crap before i start believing it.