Brisbane - Taipei - Vancouver 26/10/08
7:00pm Taiwan Time;
9:00pm AEST:
I just bought an $85 cup of the world's shittest coffee.
Was assured by the women at the information desk that the entire airport has wireless. It has many wireless networks. Unfortunately, none of them have the internet. Have only been able to get to the Taiwanese/Chinese language version of the Taoyuan airport website. And then nowhere.
My headphones broke somewhere between the seventy-five million duty free stores, a Starbucks and the bank. There are no ATMs. Also, none of the travelators are on.
Was sat beside an elderly Chinese gent on the plane. He was very polite, but appeared to have nervous flatulence. Take off, various bouts of turbulence, and touchdown were a wretched, stinking hell.
The screens on the back of the chairs worked. No credit card required to watch the movies. I think it was just for the interactive stuff like games. Watched The Fall (Lee Pace on my first flight, this seals the awesomeness of my trip), Baby Mama, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull Wotsit, bits of Get Smart, Hancock, The Norton remake of the Incredible Hulk, something with Abigail Breslin, something with Jackie Chan, and still managed to sleep for 3 hours.
Everything had Chinese subtitles. (On China Airlines, I probably should have expected it. I'm a dumbass.)
Lunch had paprika in it. As did the afternoon snack. Ate them. Will pay for it tomorrow.
Taipei is big and dark. There are planes here. Unusual for an airport, I know. Did I mention the seventy bajillion duty free stores?
Am going to have another smoke in the enclosed smoking room, which is currently occupied by air hostesses, and then buy a $25 bottle of coke. The room is about ten metres by ten metres and there are nine air purifiers in here. Also, ten ash trays.
I have $96. I think. There isn't any indication of whether they're dollars or cents. I'm assuming dollars considering the price of the coffee. Did I mention it was terrible? China airlines also had terrible coffee. It made the supersweet tub'o'orange-stuff taste like ambrosia by comparison. Also, I don't think they have cows here. Even the place with the swank coffee machine gave out tiny tubs of UHT. I firmly believe UHT to be a product of the devil.
Am abusing my rescue remedy spray. And the small amount of alka seltzer I have. Will have to buy more tomorrow in Vancouver.
Was given a complimentary packet of cards at the end of the flight on the way here. May have to set myself up in the waiting area and play Solitaire or Canfield or Pyramid or Montana until my flight leaves. Or just Lucy-Shuffle them to the point where my fellow travels wish to visit violence upon my person.
It's 7:45. My flight leaves at 23:30.
I AM SO BORED. There's only so long I can chain smoke.
9:30pm Taiwan Time;
11:30pm AEST:
Taiwanese bottled coke tastes like Australian canned coke. All hail the metallic aftertaste.
Going loopy. Got two-three hours sleep last night, and approx. two hours on the plane. Have been awake since quarter to five. My maths isn't good enough to work out how long that is.
I apparently fly out of here at 11:30pm, and arrive at 7:20pm after a total of ten hours travelled.
Am totally over chairs of dubious comfort and stained pink carpet. Beige planters with sad looking pot plants in them. Still in their pots. There's plain dirt in the ashtrays in the smokers room. Am over chainsmoking, too.
Small children have arrived. The same baby that was making googly eyes at me in the check in line at Brisbane. Can't tell if I feel hungry or sick. Am still abusing the Rescue Remedy. It has grape alcohol in it. I'm possibly drunk. Probably not.
There's a pair of squat toilets in the bathroom. They're kind of terrifying. I may have to get my camera out and prove that all Australians are weird. I have a picture of a random toilet from my trip to London when I was fourteen. No, I don't know why, either.
The 'regular' toilets are enormous and have auto-flush functions. I really wasn't expecting that.
My panics have settled down. After working myself up into a state last night, this is a good thing. I was kind of terrified I was going to have another panic attack as severe as that one. Luckily, I've been able to breathe my way through it, have only teared up twice and there have been no adrenalin related hot and cold flushes. Travel is terrifying.
Still outrageously bored. Hence the bizarre stream of consciousness drivel. My shoulders hurt. I'm still worrying about not having enough money for a taxi from the airport in Vancouver. Still annoyed that the wireless has no internet. Network diagnostics keep telling me the internet has failed.
I need to buy new headphones. It's something I didn't plan for, but I really can't live without them.
Apparently the Australian Broomball team caught the same flight as me. I'm not sure what Broomball is. Sounds like O-Week crap to me.
I hope they don't lose my luggage. I like having pants. I got so totally paranoid about it that I packed 5 pairs of underpants in each of my bags Just In Case. I have over 20 pairs of knickers. You needed to know.
It's only been half an hour, but I may need to go back and smoke again. I'm unwilling to sleep until I get on the plane. This laptop is making me paranoid. Curse the modern age.
Freaking people out by typing without looking at the screen or the keyboard. I love being able to touchtype.
I want to record one of these announcements coming over the PA. After hearing them a dozen times, it's become apparent that both the English and the Taiwanese (Possibly Chinese) are automated, but the Taiwanese one sounds pretty by comparison. Have opened up Audacity. Hopefully I'll be able to catch one.
Just hit midnight Australian time. Mum would like China Airlines. They all wear purple.
8:40pm 26/10/08 Vancouver time;
1:40pm 27/10/08 AEST
I'm in my hotel. Shared a cab with the guy I sat next two on the plane. He insisted on paying for the whole trip, so I gave him $5 for the excess baggage charge.
I have a 2 year visa granted without me having to say anything more than 'Hi' and handing over my documents.
I want to go home.
9:00pm AEST:
I just bought an $85 cup of the world's shittest coffee.
Was assured by the women at the information desk that the entire airport has wireless. It has many wireless networks. Unfortunately, none of them have the internet. Have only been able to get to the Taiwanese/Chinese language version of the Taoyuan airport website. And then nowhere.
My headphones broke somewhere between the seventy-five million duty free stores, a Starbucks and the bank. There are no ATMs. Also, none of the travelators are on.
Was sat beside an elderly Chinese gent on the plane. He was very polite, but appeared to have nervous flatulence. Take off, various bouts of turbulence, and touchdown were a wretched, stinking hell.
The screens on the back of the chairs worked. No credit card required to watch the movies. I think it was just for the interactive stuff like games. Watched The Fall (Lee Pace on my first flight, this seals the awesomeness of my trip), Baby Mama, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull Wotsit, bits of Get Smart, Hancock, The Norton remake of the Incredible Hulk, something with Abigail Breslin, something with Jackie Chan, and still managed to sleep for 3 hours.
Everything had Chinese subtitles. (On China Airlines, I probably should have expected it. I'm a dumbass.)
Lunch had paprika in it. As did the afternoon snack. Ate them. Will pay for it tomorrow.
Taipei is big and dark. There are planes here. Unusual for an airport, I know. Did I mention the seventy bajillion duty free stores?
Am going to have another smoke in the enclosed smoking room, which is currently occupied by air hostesses, and then buy a $25 bottle of coke. The room is about ten metres by ten metres and there are nine air purifiers in here. Also, ten ash trays.
I have $96. I think. There isn't any indication of whether they're dollars or cents. I'm assuming dollars considering the price of the coffee. Did I mention it was terrible? China airlines also had terrible coffee. It made the supersweet tub'o'orange-stuff taste like ambrosia by comparison. Also, I don't think they have cows here. Even the place with the swank coffee machine gave out tiny tubs of UHT. I firmly believe UHT to be a product of the devil.
Am abusing my rescue remedy spray. And the small amount of alka seltzer I have. Will have to buy more tomorrow in Vancouver.
Was given a complimentary packet of cards at the end of the flight on the way here. May have to set myself up in the waiting area and play Solitaire or Canfield or Pyramid or Montana until my flight leaves. Or just Lucy-Shuffle them to the point where my fellow travels wish to visit violence upon my person.
It's 7:45. My flight leaves at 23:30.
I AM SO BORED. There's only so long I can chain smoke.
9:30pm Taiwan Time;
11:30pm AEST:
Taiwanese bottled coke tastes like Australian canned coke. All hail the metallic aftertaste.
Going loopy. Got two-three hours sleep last night, and approx. two hours on the plane. Have been awake since quarter to five. My maths isn't good enough to work out how long that is.
I apparently fly out of here at 11:30pm, and arrive at 7:20pm after a total of ten hours travelled.
Am totally over chairs of dubious comfort and stained pink carpet. Beige planters with sad looking pot plants in them. Still in their pots. There's plain dirt in the ashtrays in the smokers room. Am over chainsmoking, too.
Small children have arrived. The same baby that was making googly eyes at me in the check in line at Brisbane. Can't tell if I feel hungry or sick. Am still abusing the Rescue Remedy. It has grape alcohol in it. I'm possibly drunk. Probably not.
There's a pair of squat toilets in the bathroom. They're kind of terrifying. I may have to get my camera out and prove that all Australians are weird. I have a picture of a random toilet from my trip to London when I was fourteen. No, I don't know why, either.
The 'regular' toilets are enormous and have auto-flush functions. I really wasn't expecting that.
My panics have settled down. After working myself up into a state last night, this is a good thing. I was kind of terrified I was going to have another panic attack as severe as that one. Luckily, I've been able to breathe my way through it, have only teared up twice and there have been no adrenalin related hot and cold flushes. Travel is terrifying.
Still outrageously bored. Hence the bizarre stream of consciousness drivel. My shoulders hurt. I'm still worrying about not having enough money for a taxi from the airport in Vancouver. Still annoyed that the wireless has no internet. Network diagnostics keep telling me the internet has failed.
I need to buy new headphones. It's something I didn't plan for, but I really can't live without them.
Apparently the Australian Broomball team caught the same flight as me. I'm not sure what Broomball is. Sounds like O-Week crap to me.
I hope they don't lose my luggage. I like having pants. I got so totally paranoid about it that I packed 5 pairs of underpants in each of my bags Just In Case. I have over 20 pairs of knickers. You needed to know.
It's only been half an hour, but I may need to go back and smoke again. I'm unwilling to sleep until I get on the plane. This laptop is making me paranoid. Curse the modern age.
Freaking people out by typing without looking at the screen or the keyboard. I love being able to touchtype.
I want to record one of these announcements coming over the PA. After hearing them a dozen times, it's become apparent that both the English and the Taiwanese (Possibly Chinese) are automated, but the Taiwanese one sounds pretty by comparison. Have opened up Audacity. Hopefully I'll be able to catch one.
Just hit midnight Australian time. Mum would like China Airlines. They all wear purple.
8:40pm 26/10/08 Vancouver time;
1:40pm 27/10/08 AEST
I'm in my hotel. Shared a cab with the guy I sat next two on the plane. He insisted on paying for the whole trip, so I gave him $5 for the excess baggage charge.
I have a 2 year visa granted without me having to say anything more than 'Hi' and handing over my documents.
I want to go home.