VI. The Confession

[pacifist_maoh]

...Yes, Wolfram is my fiance.  Yes, it was an arranged marriage.  No, I'm not going to split it off.  Now please stop asking, because it's getting very awkward to talk about it..........

Are you doing alright, Wolf?  Not so bad here at Hogwarts, is it? :)

Heard you took the art class!  S'great, I remember you doing all those paintings of me back home

Comments

[lavenderglasses]

Obviously I won't ask about it, as I already know the situation...

But I'll still say that it's completely unfair for you.

[pacifist_maoh]

...It's embarrassing, but it doesn't really upset me. I kinda gave up on raising an objection to it.

[lavenderglasses]

You should still be able to choose for yourself who you're going to marry...

Private

[pacifist_maoh]

...I don't think I'm ready to think about relationships at all anyway.

Maybe I'll love Wolfram, maybe I'll love someone else... but for now, he's a friend, and he's family... and I don't know enough of what love is to say that I love him.

I don't want to lie to him, intentionally or not. I don't want to lie to anyone.

Private

[lavenderglasses]

But what if you should fall in love with someone else? You wouldn't ignore your own feelings just because of Wolfram, would you...?

I know you wouldn't lie. That's why you're such a good person.

Private

[pacifist_maoh]

...You can't help who you fall in love with. If I didn't fall in love with Wolfram, then I'd break it off.

...But, as of now... I have no reason to break it off.

Private

[lavenderglasses]

But even still, that's cruel to him. You're leading him on by keeping the engagement, so much that he absolutely believes it will happen. If you do end up choosing someone else, he's going to be hurt much more if you wait to break it off with him then.

Private

[pacifist_maoh]

...And therein lies the problem, I think...

On one hand, if I don't love him, I'm hurting him by leading him on...

On the other hand, if I do love him and break off the engagement...

...*sighs*

It's... as of now, political. I can't just call it off because that would raise family issues. I promised myself that I wouldn't take away Wolfram's hope unless I was sure it was false hope.

Private

[lavenderglasses]

Do you honestly believe that there's a chance you'd fall in love with that selfish brat? That hope of his must be incredibly small...

Private

[pacifist_maoh]

Sara!!

Wolfram isn't just selfish. He may be a handful, but... he's a good person. I know he is. He's kind, and caring, and he's a strong, wonderful man.

I see it with Greta. I see it when he spars or duels. I wish I could be that strong. But he's right. I'm a wimp. A spineless wimp.

Private

[lavenderglasses]

Yuuri...

Everyone is a good person to you. You're too willing to look past the negatives...what if that gets you hurt someday? I'm worried about you, Yuuri...

Private

[pacifist_maoh]

No, Sara... I know that he's a good person. I know it. No matter what, I trust Wolfram. No matter what. I know he'll never hurt me.

And if he does, then I did something to deserve it.

Private

[lavenderglasses]

Heh. You'd never do something to deserve being hurt. You're too kind for that.

I won't argue over your judgement of him with you...but the situation still isn't fair to you, and nothing could convince me otherwise.

I...I just want you to be able to choose for yourself, without any outside pressure. That's all...

Private 1/3?

[pacifist_maoh]

... *wipes at tears that dripped on the paper*

Private

[pacifist_maoh]

...

Private

[pacifist_maoh]

...Thanks, Sara.