rotten morning

[pachyderms]

this is how i'm feeling: i believe i'll never be loved or love completely. every time i cultivate something that i think is close to love, or at least mutual loyalty, spite and doubt and suspicion follow closely behind.

i can't produce all i can do is brood about what i'm missing in life and all of my limitations and ugly traits and familial drama and i am tired of being an awful human to be around why am i like this i hate it all

myself is not enough for myself anymore i need some distractions