too funny not to share
From the GodHatesFigs.com FAQ:
Q. But aren't Christians supposed to believe in a loving God?
A. Ahh. Here's where we get to the heart of your confusion, my friend. That "loving God" stuff is really overplayed, and it's mostly based on the New Testament.
The New Testament God is like David Letterman after he moved from NBC to CBS. Or Lou Grant after the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore show. Or Major Kira after the first season of Deep Space Nine. You see it again and again, on television and elsewhere. The longer these cultural icons hang around, the more they lose the gritty, edgy, dangerous quality that made us love them in the first place.
God's like that. After His first few seasons in the Bible, He started to get all cute and loveable. Started talking about how only those without sin should cast the first stone and "Judge not, lest ye be judged." What a let-down. It really shows that God should have been canceled after the Book of Exodus, or at the latest the Book of Job. After that, it's all downhill into sickening gooeyness, although He regained a bit of His zing in the Book of Revelation. All that great apocalyptic stuff. But that's like the Babylon 5 finale: it was actually worked out before all the stuff that came before it.
So most people tend to just ignore all of that later stuff, focusing on God in His prime, before the writers got soft. Really, you can just stick with Leviticus, and ignore everything else. That's the blueprint for how to live a happy, well-integrated life.
Glad we could clear that up for you.
Q. But aren't Christians supposed to believe in a loving God?
A. Ahh. Here's where we get to the heart of your confusion, my friend. That "loving God" stuff is really overplayed, and it's mostly based on the New Testament.
The New Testament God is like David Letterman after he moved from NBC to CBS. Or Lou Grant after the first season of the Mary Tyler Moore show. Or Major Kira after the first season of Deep Space Nine. You see it again and again, on television and elsewhere. The longer these cultural icons hang around, the more they lose the gritty, edgy, dangerous quality that made us love them in the first place.
God's like that. After His first few seasons in the Bible, He started to get all cute and loveable. Started talking about how only those without sin should cast the first stone and "Judge not, lest ye be judged." What a let-down. It really shows that God should have been canceled after the Book of Exodus, or at the latest the Book of Job. After that, it's all downhill into sickening gooeyness, although He regained a bit of His zing in the Book of Revelation. All that great apocalyptic stuff. But that's like the Babylon 5 finale: it was actually worked out before all the stuff that came before it.
So most people tend to just ignore all of that later stuff, focusing on God in His prime, before the writers got soft. Really, you can just stick with Leviticus, and ignore everything else. That's the blueprint for how to live a happy, well-integrated life.
Glad we could clear that up for you.