A Hand Shake?
So Mr. Butterflies and I went to see a movie (with the AMS hosts for free), but it was just hanging out and afterwards were talking and then at the end he puts his hand out for a bro hand shake (You know the ones that are the precurssor to a "mans hug") and I dunno If I should be writting this, but I am just to see if my myspace friends can help me make sense of this all. After the hand shake he puts his hand out for the props thing.. I was like .. OK?
I really dont think I should be thinking this much, but I dont know what to do. My guess is just enjoy the moment and try not to think about it. I have only know this guy for about a week now ya know? And He seems like a wonderful guy to just be friends with, but I guess I just want to know that. He is so sweet and just a wonderful guy and he is taking time out to spend time with me so I mean I can't complain. I just dont know... Maybe he just feels awkward in public giving hugs t guys... or anything else. And we are nothing other than friends right now.
Im trying my best to take things slow and enjoy myslef, but I cant help but feel like ..1 This guy is way to physically gorgeous to even remotly find me attractive ..2 I barly know him... and ..3 This guy is too incrediblly cute to find me even somewhat attractive. This guy could have any guy he wants ya know? What would he want with me? Sure Im a great guy and I have a passion for the Lord and Im honest and caring and sometimes funny... but pgysically Im not all that at all... Which has been my problem for so long now... honestly maybe thats what it is... But I have tried so many times to stop and started a bit but things changed... and then nothing happened... *sigh*
Its time to say goodbye to the old eric and say hello to the new Eric good bye messican hello sexican... Ive said it before, but I will have to say it again and then figure out what Im going to do... maybe I shold ask Mr Butterflies to be my personal trainer... *sigh*
I know he never said he didnt like me, infact I still seem to feel the oposite from him... I just need to wait and be honest, just take time and get to know each other. Maybe Im thinking too much and worrying way too much... I guess Im just scared that someone who physically is more gorgeous than me will come sweeping in and take him and say HA HA HA!! to me... But then I guess he wasnt for me in the first place then...
Its just that Im tired of not having someone, I want to feel all the feelings you ahve in a relationship, good and bad, I just want to enjoy the moment and have someone enjoy me for me... I think there is just this part of me that wants that whole "you saw me when I was invisible" kinda thing. I really want it to be Mr. butterflies, but if all Mr. Butterflies is is just a friend, I just hope he will tell me...*sigh* But then again... I like the way I feel when Im around him now... what if that gets ruined...
UGH!!! Its just been a week! I need to STOP RIGHT NOW! Ok Im done... sorry It was just confusing... these are my honest and heartfelt thoughts... I dont know why I choose to make them so public.. Yikes I suddenlly feel so voulnerable...
As usual Input is desired and not required
I really dont think I should be thinking this much, but I dont know what to do. My guess is just enjoy the moment and try not to think about it. I have only know this guy for about a week now ya know? And He seems like a wonderful guy to just be friends with, but I guess I just want to know that. He is so sweet and just a wonderful guy and he is taking time out to spend time with me so I mean I can't complain. I just dont know... Maybe he just feels awkward in public giving hugs t guys... or anything else. And we are nothing other than friends right now.
Im trying my best to take things slow and enjoy myslef, but I cant help but feel like ..1 This guy is way to physically gorgeous to even remotly find me attractive ..2 I barly know him... and ..3 This guy is too incrediblly cute to find me even somewhat attractive. This guy could have any guy he wants ya know? What would he want with me? Sure Im a great guy and I have a passion for the Lord and Im honest and caring and sometimes funny... but pgysically Im not all that at all... Which has been my problem for so long now... honestly maybe thats what it is... But I have tried so many times to stop and started a bit but things changed... and then nothing happened... *sigh*
Its time to say goodbye to the old eric and say hello to the new Eric good bye messican hello sexican... Ive said it before, but I will have to say it again and then figure out what Im going to do... maybe I shold ask Mr Butterflies to be my personal trainer... *sigh*
I know he never said he didnt like me, infact I still seem to feel the oposite from him... I just need to wait and be honest, just take time and get to know each other. Maybe Im thinking too much and worrying way too much... I guess Im just scared that someone who physically is more gorgeous than me will come sweeping in and take him and say HA HA HA!! to me... But then I guess he wasnt for me in the first place then...
Its just that Im tired of not having someone, I want to feel all the feelings you ahve in a relationship, good and bad, I just want to enjoy the moment and have someone enjoy me for me... I think there is just this part of me that wants that whole "you saw me when I was invisible" kinda thing. I really want it to be Mr. butterflies, but if all Mr. Butterflies is is just a friend, I just hope he will tell me...*sigh* But then again... I like the way I feel when Im around him now... what if that gets ruined...
UGH!!! Its just been a week! I need to STOP RIGHT NOW! Ok Im done... sorry It was just confusing... these are my honest and heartfelt thoughts... I dont know why I choose to make them so public.. Yikes I suddenlly feel so voulnerable...
As usual Input is desired and not required