Take a look at me now...

[dr_j_wilson]

Who: Wilson, Cuddy (closed)
Where: Cuddy's home.
What: Wilson cooks Cuddy a thank you dinner.
When: Friday 31st of March, late afternoon

Incomplete.

Comments

[dr_l_cuddy]

Cuddy turned onto the street leading to her house, thankful to finally be out of the typically heavy Friday night traffic. She was so ready to be done with the work week. In truth, the week hadn't been all that demanding physically, or even mentally. She was used to clinic chaos and overdue paperwork and complaining patients.... No, it was the emotional strain that had her packing up her briefcase and locking up her office before five o'clock. Not much before five, just a few minutes, but it was unusual enough that her assistant had sat at his desk gaping at her as she left.

Cuddy activated the garage door opener as she swung into the driveway. She pulled in, killed the engine, and took a few slow, deep breaths to try and rid herself of the rest of the lingering, and mostly House-induced, tension.

Oddly enough, the silver lining in all this mess had been Wilson's presence in her home. She'd forgotten how nice it was to have another living, breathing human being around. Even though Wilson had been more reserved than usual since Tuesday, probably needlessly embarassed by his behavior, his presence had been a quiet, comfortable one.

For her part, she'd studiously avoided any mention of House around Wilson. She figured he needed some time to get his head straight and she didn't want to be responsible for pushing him to do something he wasn't ready to do. Besides there were more interesting topics than House to discuss. Not as dramatic, perhaps, but still interesting.

Cuddy grabbed her briefcase and walked quickly to the door. The moment she stepped into the house she smelled...smells. Good smells. Cooking type smells. She dropped her briefcase and stood in the kitchen doorway watching Wilson putter around the kitchen.

"Wilson, you cooked." Cuddy couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice, but she couldn't remember the last time someone, other than her mother, had cooked for her. Many nights she barely bothered to cook for herself. She stared, taking in all the work he'd done, then looked up at his face. "I mean...you cooked?"

[dr_j_wilson]

Stopping what he was doing for a moment, Wilson looked over at Cuddy, attempting to look more animated than he felt. The paleness of his face and the bags under his eyes were unfortunately impossible to cover up however. Still, Wilson managed a small smile, “I like cooking,” he stated, taking another step to put the two plates he was carrying on the counter. He then looked back at Cuddy, “And I wanted to…,” he gestured in the air and looked away, “you know, to thank you. For everything.”

Feeling a little uncomfortable, Wilson moved over to the stove to stir the pasta. “I uh…I’ve got an apartment, so I should be out of your hair tomorrow,” Wilson said, glancing back at Cuddy again with another brief smile to show that he didn’t really believe he’d been a nuisance to her. “And back at work on Monday,” he added with a distinct lack of enthusiasm, staring back down at the pasta.

Every time Cuddy had come home from work, Wilson had had the compulsion to ask about House, but he’d resisted and resisted again now. He didn’t want to risk starting up another conversation about House and everything that had happened. The walls that were keeping his emotions in check were only just holding in place as it was.

[dr_l_cuddy]

"This really wasn't necessary, but thank you. It smells wonderful," Cuddy said almost absently. Her mind was actually stuck on the I'll be out of your hair tomorrow. Great. Another Saturday night in which she'd be home alone in a silent house. Which was entirely her problem. Wilson wasn't here to keep her company, he was here because he had his own, more urgent problems.

Cuddy covered the studying look she gave Wilson by reaching into an upper cabinet for a couple of wine glasses. He looked...well, he looked like shit. And he clearly dreaded going back to work. Wilson loved his job so the only reason he'd be avoiding the hospital would be House.

"We've missed you at work," Cuddy said as she poured the wine. That was the absolute truth, even for House. She wondered if she should tell Wilson about her conversation with House. She didn't want to get into the middle of this, but someone had to get these two talking. Then again, what was she going to tell Wilson? That House was completely screwed up and had no idea what he was doing? She suspected Wilson already knew that about House.

She flashed Wilson a quick smile when she realized she'd drifted off into her own thoughts. She added dryly, "I think Dr. Julian has discovered that running a department isn't as much fun as it looks."

[dr_j_wilson]

After a quick check of the chicken, Wilson went back to absently stirring the pasta and the pasta sauce, lost in his own thoughts about everything he needed to get done over the weekend. The apartment didn’t come furnished and the thought of all the things he had to buy made Wilson’s head hurt. He’d probably just end up buying the necessities over the weekend and get everything else when he had the time later.

A wry expression crossed Wilson’s face at Cuddy’s remarks about being missed and Dr. Julian. “Good. Maybe he’ll stop coveting my job now and get on with his own,” he said, pulling the pasta off the stove and taking the saucepan over to the sink to drain. “Then again, I hope that doesn’t mean I’ll be returning to absolute chaos.” Wilson made quick work of mixing the pasta with the sauce and dishing it, and the seasoned chicken, out onto the two plates.

“This is ready,” Wilson said, no doubt needlessly, as he picked both plates up and put them on the dining room table. He smiled quickly when he noticed Cuddy had two glasses with the wine. After sitting down he poured himself some of the wine and tried to relax - something that had been hard to do over the last few days.

[dr_l_cuddy]

"Not complete chaos, no," Cuddy said. She grabbed the silverware and a couple of linen napkins as Wilson carried their plates to the table. She sat down and laid the napkin over her lap before continuing. "You're lucky to have at least one nurse--Maria?--who knows exactly what needs to be done and isn't afraid to just take over and do it. Dr. Julian got quite an education in the departmental power structure. It was actually quite entertaining."

"Besides, I've already got the best Head of Oncology. Dr. Julian can covet all he wants. It won't get him anywhere but frustrated." Cuddy closed her eyes as she savored the first bite of chicken. She opened them again as she took a sip of wine and stared at Wilson with a mixture of surprise and admiration. "This is amazing. I had no idea you could cook, not like this."

"Anyway," she said after she tasted the pasta. "It was a pretty typical week as far as work goes. The worst of it was a crowd of college students puking all over my clinic. Not to mention more whining than usual from...." Cuddy's voice cut off in mid-sentence because she'd nearly mentioned the unmentionable: House. She cleared her throat and hurried on. "So the apartment, what's it like?"

[dr_j_wilson]

Wilson silently thanked the stars that he had Maria on staff. She may be a nurse but Wilson had no doubt she knew more about running the department than Dr. Julian. If it had been allowed he’d have left her in charge instead in the first place.

Picking up his fork, Wilson stabbed at some pasta and ate mechanically. His appetite had been practically non-existent, but he had at least been managing to force himself to eat anyway. A genuine smile crossed his face at Cuddy’s compliment. “There was one thing my ma wanted her boys to be able to do before leaving home - and that was to be able to cook,” he said, picking up his wine glass. “She was tougher than a drill sergeant about it too.”

Not that Wilson had minded that; he had always liked to cook since he’d been a kid and had helped his mother out in the kitchen. Thinking about his mother had that familiar tightening of his chest returning. One day, eventually, he was going to have to talk to his parents…and his brother. None of them even knew he and Julie had divorced, let alone everything else. God, don’t think about that now.

Sipping at his wine, Wilson gave Cuddy a suspicious glance when she trailed off mid-sentence. There was only one person she could possibly be talking about. Right. Don’t mention the war. House was whining more? Well, that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Though it could mean something… Surely House didn’t feel nothing about what had happened. Surely he hadn’t just thrown their years of friendship over his shoulder and moved on. But what if he has?

“It’s…nice,” Wilson replied, attempting to sound casual. He picked his knife and fork up and began cutting the chicken. “Two bedroom’s, so I can have a place for guests. It’s on the second floor, has a nice view. Big kitchen too,” Wilson glanced up at Cuddy and smiled briefly.

[dr_l_cuddy]

"Well, I like your mom then," Cuddy said. Inwardly, she gave herself a stern warning to avoid talking about anything work related. It was too easy to slip up and end up in dangerous territory. House was like a cancer that way--he seemed to infiltrate everything. Huh, maybe that's why Wilson was usually so good at handling House?

"Any mother who makes sure her kids can function independently is definitely okay in my book. Boys and girls both need to be able to take of themselves, not depend someone else." Cuddy speared a bite of chicken with her fork and wagged it at Wilson. "Still, there's a difference between learning to cook and having a knack for it. You definitely have a knack for it."

Cuddy enjoyed the meal in silence for a few moments. She'd almost blurted out a question about the apartment being on the second floor and did it have an elevator, because she'd immediately thought of House trying to negotiate stairs. She managed to suppress the comment before it slipped out. Jesus, House really was a cancer. Seemed like there was no topic safe from his unwitting influence.

"Big kitchen, huh?" Cuddy continued when she felt she could manage conversation without dragging House into it. "You'll definitely enjoy that. Is it much of a commute from the hospital?"

[dr_j_wilson]

His mother would love Cuddy, Wilson thought, though he couldn’t quite imagine any circumstance the two would meet. Not unless he and Cuddy became closer, which…considering he was minus one best friend wouldn’t be completely out of the realm of possibility. There was of course the restriction of their professional relationship, which made the prospect at least a little confusing. Could you be close friends with your boss without it affecting your job?

“No, not far at all. About twenty minutes away, depending on traffic,” Wilson replied to Cuddy’s question. “Closer than…Julie’s.” Wilson gave Cuddy an awkward look, “Still strange to think of the house as hers.” He stabbed some more pasta with his fork but instead of eating it, looked away towards the windows for a moment, his eyes distant.

“It’ll be strange to live alone again.” Realising how morose his voice had sounded just then, Wilson cleared his throat and ate the pasta. It didn’t escape his thoughts that Cuddy lived alone, and didn’t appear to enjoy it either if anything could be said about their brief conversation on relationships they’d had a while ago. Wilson wondered if he’d even bother with cooking that much if it was just him. He enjoyed cooking a lot more if he was cooking for someone else as well.

[dr_l_cuddy]

"I suppose it will be weird at first. Fortunately, living alone is something you get used to. Or should that be unfortunately?" Cuddy gave Wilson a rueful smile. "There are advantages to living alone. You never have to worry about someone pounding on the bathroom door wanting in. No fighting over control of the TV remote. No one nagging you about when you'll be home or what you're doing."

Of course, those things could also be considered disadvantages. It was all in how you chose to interpret it. Cuddy did like her independence, and she liked the fact that she had total control of what went on in her home. Trouble was she was so used to doing things her own way that if she ever did find someone to share her life with, she was going to have to relearn how to compromise.

"The thing is...." Cuddy's voiced trailed off. She pushed the food around her plate aimlessly while she debated the wisdom of voicing her concerns. On the one hand, she truly didn't want to force Wilson to think about his situation any more than he already was. But on the other hand, as a friend she worried about how he would cope with everything that had happened once he was alone.

She took a drink of wine and began again, keeping her tone neutral and her eyes on her wineglass. "The thing is you need to be careful. Given the circumstances, it'll be tempting to...hide. There's nothing wrong with giving yourself some private time, but don't fall into the trap of becoming isolated."

[dr_j_wilson]

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Wilson said, appreciating Cuddy’s honesty. It seemed evident that she was speaking from experience. Part of his attention was still on what she’d said about the ‘advantages’ of living alone, and how they didn’t really seem like advantages to him. Sure, he was always at least a little irritated when House argued about something, or refused to do the dishes - or whatever it was - but when it came down to it…Wilson knew he would miss all that along with everything else.

It was House, it was everything Wilson was comfortable and familiar with. From anyone else Wilson wouldn’t put up with even half the things he put up with from House, because no matter how it appeared to the outside observer, things were usually balanced between them. At least, they used to understand each other, before everything had gotten so crazy…. Realising his thoughts were going into the exact areas Wilson wanted to stay away from, he forced himself to concentrate back on the present.

“So, any luck on the dating scene?” Wilson asked, mainly to change the focus away from him, but also because he was interested.

[dr_l_cuddy]

Cuddy merely nodded when Wilson acknowledged her advice. She was glad he'd taken it in the spirit in which it was intended, and not been upset or offended. She knew Wilson understood what she was saying on an intellectual basis, but sometimes the emotions got the better of the intellect and it was all too easy to find yourself alone and miserable. She'd been there, done that and got the t-shirt. She was very conscious of avoiding particular trap now, and she didn't want to see Wilson go through it if it could be helped.

"Define 'luck'," Cuddy said with a dry chuckle. If luck was what it took to find the right someone, she seemed to be in very short supply. Then again, luck tended to come out of the blue, kind of like the flowers.

"Maybe," Cuddy admitted. She couldn't help but be a little reluctant to talk about it after House's scathing remarks about the losers who used internet dating. But she knew Wilson was less likely to be unkind if it turned out that the secret admirer was a loser, at least to her face. "Some mystery man sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers yesterday at work. I mean nice flowers, expensive. Which is...mildly encouraging."

[dr_j_wilson]

Wilson raised an eyebrow at the ‘maybe’ and watched Cuddy’s face as she explained. “Mystery man huh?” Wilson repeated curiously, instantly warming to the topic. After all, thinking about someone else’s love life was currently much better than thinking about his own. “I’d say that’s a little more than mildly encouraging. Though…you really don’t have any idea who it is?”

The thought that it might actually be some really unattractive person, or even some kind of stalker, briefly crossed Wilson’s mind. For Cuddy’s sake he really hoped that wasn’t the case. He hoped whoever it was, was attempting to be mysteriously romantic or...was just shy.

[dr_l_cuddy]

"No, no idea," Cuddy admitted. "I've wracked my brain trying to figure it out. I haven't met anyone new lately, seems like the only people I see are the same old faces at the hospital. And my last actual date.... Well, it was a mutual decision to not pursue a relationship. The only explanation I can think of...."

Cuddy focused her attention on her meal while she tried to fight down the blush warming her cheeks. It made her uncomfortable to admit that she used internet dating services. As many times as she told herself that there was nothing wrong with it, she knew most people, like House, saw it as a last resort for losers. And given most of her experiences, she couldn't really refute that perception.

Cuddy gave Wilson a mildly embarrassed smile as she reached for her wine glass. She would've bet money that Wilson had never needed any kind of dating help. He never seemed to have a problem finding partners. If anything, his problem was saying no to the opportunities he got.

"My best guess is that it's someone who saw my profile on...on a dating website. And instead of contacting me through the service, he decided to get a litttle creative." Cuddy shrugged. "I gotta give the guy points for trying."

[dr_j_wilson]

“It certainly sounds as if he’s…inspired,” Wilson said, hoping that was the right word. He was surprised to know that Cuddy used online dating services, but only because it perplexed him as to why she needed to rather than because he thought they were cheap. No matter how much he thought about it Wilson decided he’d never understand why a woman like Cuddy was single, except by admitting that men were stupid.

Touche.

“I hope it works out for you,” he added sincerely. “I won’t try to give you any advice, since my track record in relationships is, as you know, abysmal,” Wilson said wryly after swallowing another mouthful. “I’m thinking of becoming a monk.” The humour left his face fairly fast and Wilson looked away again, introspective for a moment. Things had been too intense when Cuddy admitted that she knew about he and House, that Wilson hadn’t really thought about what she really thought about it all.

[dr_l_cuddy]

"Time will tell...for both of us," Cuddy said. In a way she and Wilson were at opposite ends of the spectrum. She was just beginning a relationship...maybe. The potential was there anyway, and that was a good feeling. Wilson, however, had just faced the end of his marriage as well as...well, who knew where this thing between him and House would end up. After talking to House she was convinced that he cared deeply, perhaps even as much as Wilson, but whether he'd be able to overcome his fears was another story.

"I think it's a little early to be swearing off relationships or sex or love. Definitely too early to swear off sex," she told Wilson with a smile when he mentioned becoming a monk. She'd had those same kind of feelings herself after a bad break-up, and she knew that--fortunately--those kinds of feelings tended to fade. She fully expected that Wilson would be back in the dating game in time.

Which reminded her.... Cuddy took another bite of the chicken and glanced sideways at Wilson. He hadn't exactly been forthcoming about this 'change' in his sexual orientation and she didn't want to make him uncomfortable. But she also wanted him to know that it didn't have to be a big scary secret, not between them.

"You do realize," Cuddy finally said. "That--if they knew--half the female employees at the hospital would be sorely disappointed to know they didn't stand a chance with you anymore."

[dr_j_wilson]

Wilson gave a tight smile when Cuddy said that it was too early to swear off sex. He didn’t want to think about that, because thinking about sex inevitably led him to thinking about House…and sex. He was surprised by what Cuddy said next, though he realised after a moment why she had said it. The knowledge was comforting - and the way his life was going lately, he could use any amount of support and comfort.

“Half? That’s flattering,” Wilson said, smiling a little easier. “In any case, hopefully they won’t have a chance to feel disappointed. The last thing I want to be is the token…gay doctor.” The word ‘gay’ had stuck in his throat a little and Wilson trained his eyes on his dinner plate, though he did feel a little better for being able to say it.

Something else occurred to him and Wilson raised his eyes again to look at Cuddy. “What would you go if…if it did come out?” Wilson asked hesitantly. “I’m sure some of the board members would probably put pressure on you to…fire me. Because, you know, I might suddenly get HIV and be a health risk to my patients,” Wilson continued spitefully. He knew without a doubt that at least some of the board members would react that way - especially the older men.