Secrets

[dr_j_wilson]

Who: House, Wilson
Where: House's office
What: Wilson wants some answers
When: early afternoon, 29 May

Comments

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House darted his eyes up to Wilson when Cuddy's birthday present was mentioned. Oh, crap. That was what Wilson had come up here to talk about? That was it? God, why didn't he even think about that? He'd been meaning to tell Wilson... at some point about the present. Maybe. Or maybe not. He dropped his face into his hands for a moment, wanting so badly to kick himself.

He wasn't sure there was any point in explaining why he'd never told Wilson about the gift. Not that there was really that much to explain, not in comparison to the explaining he was going to have to do about Cade. "I didn't want to make a thing of it," he said as he lifted his head to look at Wilson's back. He threw his hands up in annoyance at himself and sat back in his seat with a sigh, dropping his hands to his lap.

He stared down at the medical journal, feeling foolish, guilty and filled with unease. "Wanted to do something..." he said, his words almost a mumble. "I don't know, nice. For Cuddy. She deserved it..."

Wilson was right: that now seemed completely insignificant. Resting his elbow on the armrest of his chair, he braced his chin against his knuckles and peered absently down at his desk.

[dr_j_wilson]

Wilson turned back when House spoke. He leaned back against the door as House explained, and tried to pretend there wasn't more than a room's length of space between them. A few feet in actual distance, much more than that in psychological terms.

"Only you would feel uncomfortable about doing something nice," he said with a sigh. He really didn't understand it. Was House afraid of ruining his reputation as a bastard? Was he afraid people might actually like him? Or was he just afraid people would expect him to do more nice things?

"It worked, by the way. She really enjoyed her weekend." It would've been nice if Wilson could've enjoyed her enjoyment without being distracted by the fact that he supposed to know about it and didn't. He supposed he should be grateful it was Cuddy he'd been talking to. She knew how House operated and, aside from that typical 'what the hell?' feeling one got from dealing with House, she hadn't been too surprised or curious about Wilson's lack of knowledge. He hadn't had to waste a lot of time and energy trying to pretend he had a clue.

Hell, maybe he should be grateful House had decided to keep that little secret, since that's what had clued Wilson into the larger one. Vaguely suspicious feelings were normal when dealing with House. Wilson probably would've put them down to his own feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. It was unlikely he would've pressed House on the matter without something more substantial on which to base his suspicions.

"I fail to see how telling me would've made it a 'thing'," Wilson said. "In fact, not telling me seems to have created an even bigger thing."

[dr_gregoryhouse]

Well, it was good to know Cuddy enjoyed the weekend, except House was too distracted to really pay much attention to that little detail right now. He shifted on his seat uncomfortably when Wilson said he failed to see the 'thing' in Cuddy's present. It was a 'thing' to House, a big thing, to try and make amends and wish her a happy birthday, let alone giving her the damn present. Telling Wilson would've just made it an even bigger thing to House, but in hindsight he should've told Wilson about it instead of leaving him in the dark. Because, yes, not telling him certainly did create a much bigger thing.

He lifted a hand and scratched his head, then dropped his hand to his desk with a slap. "Doesn't really matter now, whether it was a 'thing' or not, seeing you now know," House said. He shot Wilson a look as he slapped his medical journal shut. He knew resentment wasn't something he should be feeling, seeing he was the one who was guilty for lying, but House tended to place blame rather than admit that he was sorry or guilty. He was definitely resentful that Wilson hadn't been upfront about why he'd actually come here in the first place because if he had, then House wouldn't be worried so much about the Cade thing.

"Speaking of things," he said, his tone turning slightly cynical, "haven't you got any cancer 'things' to deal with?"

He pushed himself back up from the chair, picking the medical journal up with one hand and reaching for his cane with his other. "Me, I got a lunch 'thing', followed by a clinic duty 'thing', so why you go and do your 'thing' and we'll worry about other 'things' later."

[dr_j_wilson]

Wilson bit back an immediate retort. House seemed to think as long as everything sort of worked out in the end, it didn't matter how they got there. But it did matter. It mattered that Wilson had felt like an idiot. It mattered that he'd looked foolish in front of Cuddy who was, among other things, his boss. And it had been totally unnecessary except for the fact that House couldn't or wouldn't act like a normal human being.

Of course, Wilson was also feeling like an idiot that he hadn't been more aware of House's other secret. In that sense, it was better that he'd found out now because the longer it went on, the longer House spent looking elsewhere, the more stupid Wilson would've felt when he did finally discovered the secret. He wasn't in the mood to be grateful for lesser degrees of idiocy, though.

"Of course I've got things to do. I just happen to think the us thing was more important. But don't let me keep you," Wilson said. He made a sweeping and unmistakably sarcastic gesture at the door. "I know how important the clinic thing is to you."

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House had rounded his desk and was heading towards the door when Wilson said about the 'us thing' being important. House frowned slightly and came to a stop a feet or so in front of Wilson. Hearing him say the us thing was more important caused House to feel another stab of guilt.

Of course it was important. If his guilt was anything to go by, this thing between them was insanely important to House. He kept telling himself that nothing had happened between Cade and himself, except then his mind would remind him of the fact that he'd lied to Wilson and the fact that he'd thought about something happening between Cade and himself. Only for curiosity reasons, though, that was all. At least, he was pretty certain that was all.

He frowned further at Wilson's sarcastic words, his guilt quickly turning into annoyance and defensiveness again. "Who said the clinic thing was a matter of importance?" House snapped. "I told you, I'm not discussing the us thing here, so importance has nothing to do with it."

Well, maybe refusing to talk about it at work was a cop out, a way to stall for time because a discussion about the us thing in context of what he'd been hiding from Wilson was a conversation House didn't particularly want to have.

[dr_j_wilson]

"Since when do you get to unilaterally decide when and where and what we'll discuss? Seems to me you've had time to mention this before at your convenience but you didn't."

Wilson clenched his jaw to avoid saying any more. He knew--he knew pushing House was only going to make it worse but damn it, he got tired of having to defer to House's wishes. He also knew he was at least partly at fault for that because he had so often deferred to House in the past.

Judging by House's recent behavior, he'd had this little 'secret' for at least a week. He could've talked to Wilson at any time, any place and he hadn't. Probably wouldn't be talking about it now if Wilson hadn't tricked him into it. Wilson was utterly frustrated, and worried. Hadn't House learned anything from the hooker incident? They had to talk about this kind of thing or the relationship wasn't going to work.

"Fine," he said with a heavy sigh. Maybe he was the one who never learned because he wasn't going to push it, not here in the hospital. Maybe he hadn't learned anything from the hooker incident either because here he was, surprised and hurt all over again.

"You come find me when you are ready to talk," he said as he reached for the door handle. "But House--don't wait too long."