Curiosity killing the cat, maybe?

[dr_gregoryhouse]

Who: House, Cade, Wilson might make some kind of cellular appearance at some stage
Where: The same bar they both went to last time
When: May 22nd, just after 5.30pm.

Comments

[caden_walker]

Cade scrunched his face up and then just settled for squinting at House for a moment. For a long moment. There were two reasons people asked that kind of question. One was that they’d never met a gay or bisexual person before. The other was because they were questioning their own sexuality.

Shaking his head, Cade looked down at the bar and ran a hand over his face. Was this why House was hanging out with him? There was no way Cade was the first non-straight person House had met but he just couldn’t quite believe House was having some kind of sexuality crisis. It just didn’t seem probable at all but then…who knew. Some people lived in denial until they died.

“Joe Puccini,” Cade said suddenly, dropping his hand down. “We had a few classes together in high school. At first I just thought he was cool, figured I just wanted to be friends. But then…when we were friends, he’d touch me or something - something completely innocent - and I’d…” Cade glanced at House with a slight smirk, “well, you know, teenage hormones and all that.

“That was when I really knew, but I think there were signs there long before that. I just didn’t take much notice of them. I guess it would have been clearer if I didn’t like girls as well. It can get…a little mixed up if your sexuality isn’t clear cut, like we’re all brought up to believe it should be.” Cade gave House another quick glance, trying to get any clues from his expression.

“Stupid really, if you ask me. Why would sexuality be so black and white when nothing else about human nature is? Or nature period?”

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House wanted to kick himself for asking that question when Cade just sat there and squinted at him. He pretended not to be perturbed, however, by focusing on taking sips of his beer. Long sips of his beer; an excuse not to have to look at Cade. He also watched the bar girl moving about behind the bar, even giving her a brief half-smile when she grinned at him.

As Cade started to talk, though, House grew less interested in his beer and more interested in what Cade was saying. What he actually hoped to find out, he didn't know - maybe some reassurance that what he was going through was normal, or some reassurance that... Maybe just some reassurance.

He definitely got the part about sexuality not being clear-cut. Especially at his age. By the time Cade finished talking, House was staring absently down at his beer. He had this sudden urge to just blurt out to Cade that this was something he was seriously struggling with.

He leaned heavily against the bar and sighed, swilling his beer in its bottle. "Because that's the way a society heavily influenced by Judeo-Christianity makes it," he replied, a little bitterly. "The morals and standards of Western society are based upon biblical principles, and the bible teaches that human nature is evil. Especially when it comes to things like sex and sexuality. That's the whole reason why it's treated like it should be black and white."

He sipped his beer and set it back down, and resumed peering down at it. "That's one of the things I hate about religion. Best way to learn nothing about the world, sexuality included, is to rely on religion to teach you. That's whole the problem with this screwed up society."

[caden_walker]

“Amen,” Cade said dryly before taking another swig of beer. “Makes me glad I wasn’t brought up in a religious family. I agree with you, religion as a whole has done no one any favours. Not the environment either. It’s not just human nature that is evil according to many religions, but all of nature really.”

Cade shook his head and gave House a look. “Whoa, this is getting way too intellectual of a conversation for me. I’m gonna sprain my brain around you, I can sense it already.” Cade smirked a little, well aware that he hadn’t fooled House at all with his dumb and shallow act.

That didn’t mean he had to admit House was right. Besides, Cade had been hiding behind that mask for so long that it was hard for him to let go of it with someone he didn’t know well enough yet.

“So, why are you interested in how I came to know that I ‘swing both ways’? Don’t tell me you’ve never met an openly bisexual person before. Or…is sexuality a special interest to you recently?” Cade raised an eyebrow, looking at House inquisitively.

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House gave Cade a look. "Common sense gives you a brain sprain?"

House knew Cade wasn't stupid, and he'd worked Cade out long ago to know that stupid act was simply that - an act. House played along, anyway, though made it obvious he hadn't been fooled. He raised his beer to his mouth, adding dryly, "No wonder people see you as a doormat."

House tensed up again, however, when Cade swung the conversation back towards him, and why he wanted to know about Cade's sexuality. He paid extra special interest in reading the label on his beer bottle as he scrambled for a way to answer Cade's question. A part of him still really wanted to just blurt it out; another part of him wanted to flee.

He quickly checked his watch again. Almost six-thirty. He cleared his throat and glanced quickly at Cade. "Practicing medicine is a good way to come across all walks of life," he replied as his way of saying he'd come across more bisexual people in his lifetime than he could shake a stick at.

He paused, trying to work out how he could explain why he'd wanted to know about Cade. He could just avoid answering altogether... but Cade wasn't stupid enough to just let that slide. Maybe he could just say that was something about Cade he didn't know and had therefore asked about it. Or maybe he should just avoid answering it all together, yeah. Just hope Cade would ignore it, too. Or maybe he could say something without neither confirming nor denying that sexuality was a 'special interest' to him lately.

"Special interest," he echoed. "You make it sound like that section they have in every video store; the section with DVDs about wildlife and Jane Fonda aerobics and soft porn arthouse movies, all listed under 'Special Interest', which no one ever rents out."

[caden_walker]

Cade took note of House’s body language - the way he checked his watch and cleared his throat - and kept quiet, hoping to draw an answer out that way. He sighed when it seemed that was all House was going to say.

“You’re avoiding the question,” he pointed out bluntly before finishing off his second beer. For a moment he weighed up the option of getting a third before deciding not to - more because he had more useful things to spend his money on than concern over getting drunk.

“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But if there is…something, you can tell me and I promise it won’t go beyond me,” Cade said, trying a slightly different tactic. “I’m not the kind to be judgemental about people, in case you haven’t realised that already.”

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House's hope that Cade would let the subject go, sank when Cade pointed out he was avoiding the question. He was just about to ask Cade if he wanted another beer, just to shut him up, when Cade then continued. He gave Cade an assessing look. Even if he did say anything, he couldn't trust Cade would keep it to himself. On the other hand, Cade at least got the whole sexuality thing, judgmental or not.

He debated with himself whether to actually say anything or not for a moment, drinking back the rest of his beer to stall for time. Beer finished, he set the bottle down onto the counter and shoved it from him.

"You're shallow and happy-go-lucky, right," he replied with a hint of sarcasm. "Why would you be judgmental about anything?" He watched the bar girl collect his beer and shook his head when she asked if he wanted anything else. He followed her with his eyes as she walked off before settling his eyes back on Cade. He studied Cade's face for a moment, then looked down to the bar with a quiet sigh.

"Get to my age, you think you've got it all worked out," he admitted in a low voice. "And then something happens that completely changes almost everything you thought you knew about yourself without being even remotely prepared for it, and you think to yourself, 'Boy, never saw that coming'."

He glanced at Cade again and then looked away again, frowning down at the bar.

[caden_walker]

“Oh, I see,” Cade said, making it clear by his tone that he didn’t really see at all. Eyeing House, Cade rubbed at his jaw thoughtfully. “Are you…are you saying that…” Cade trailed off, frowning. “Have you recently realised that you might be…something other than straight?” Cade asked, raising his eyebrows.

At first, Cade thought this possible revelation of House’s had something to do with him but then…no. Whatever was going on with House, it was something recent but not that recent. At least, Cade didn’t think so. Not if House was - even reluctantly - talking about it with him.

“Well?” Cade prodded, still looking at House carefully. “Is that it?”

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House's cryptic answer made perfect sense to House, so he expected Cade to catch on to what he was saying - which would naturally mean Cade didn't. He shot Cade a sharp look when it was made clear that Cade didn't know what he was talking about.

He got even more annoyed when Cade prodded for an answer. Paranoid, too. House couldn't help glancing around himself to see who was within earshot - talking about this made him feel like every eye in the bar was looking at him. God damn it, why didn't people ever get his cryptic messages? Why did he need to explain himself?

"No, I've recently realised that I might be diagonally parked in a parallel universe," he sarcastically replied. "Does that equate to being 'something other than straight'?"

[caden_walker]

Cade chuckled a bit, aware that he was annoying House by demanding a clear answer but not at all perturbed by that. In his mind it’d do House good just to come out and say whatever there was to say.

“Could be. I guess it depends on what universe you’re in. There are some damn straaange universes out there. Probably.” Cade shot House a quick grin. “So what put you in this parallel universe exactly?” Cade asked, figuring he might get somewhere if he spoke in the same roundabout way House was.

“Find yourself ogling a bit of shirt instead of some skirt?”

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House gave his jaw an anxious rub, giving another cursory glance around the bar to make sure no one was looking at him or listening. This feeling of paranoia felt almost suffocating and he found himself unable to stop fidgeting - with his watch, drumming his fingers on the bar, giving his jaw an anxious rub.

He appreciated at the very least that Cade wasn't being so blunt by talking in a more coded way. Well, until he made the comment about ogling. Had he been ogling, though? He'd been so caught up in everything that had been happening between Wilson and him that he didn't really give much thought beyond Wilson himself. Except, of course, these couple of times with Cade.

"Something like that," House reluctantly admitted. He really didn't want to go into any specifics. "Definitely not a universe I'm used to."

[caden_walker]

“And it’s freaked you out,” Cade observed, taking his cues from House’s reluctance to talk about this and his body language. “I’m not sure I can relate exactly. For one, I figured my sexuality out while still young and for another…I was lucky to have people around me who accepted as is - my father, my brother, my friends.

“That’s not to say I had it all easy. I was terrified that people would find out, at school…wherever, and I’d get beat up or something. Or worse.” Cade gave House a long look.

“I found it helped to tell people about it. People can surprise you. Have you…talked about this with anyone other than me?” Cade asked, raising an eyebrow. “What about Dr Wilson? You two are obviously close. And he seems open minded.”

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House shifted uncomfortably on his stool and picked up a drink coaster to start fiddling with it. He really didn't like having it pointed out that, yes, it freaked him out. He liked to think he wasn't being obvious that it did, but Cade observing point-blank that he was in fact freaked out made House aware that he was being obvious.

This gave him even greater incentive to not want to talk about it and for what felt like the hundredth time in the last five minutes to House, he looked at his watch again. He should probably make a move soon, get home to Wilson and pretend he never did this coming to the bar thing. Just thinking about Wilson made House feel another stab of guilt that he'd lied to Wilson about being here in the bar on his own.

He looked across at Cade incredulously when Cade asked if he'd talked to anyone else about it. Well, sure, he'd talked to Cuddy about it... sort of. Very uncomfortably. Before that whole threesome thing with himself and Wilson and her--

House felt suddenly caught off guard when Cade asked if he'd talked to Wilson about it. Wilson seemed open minded? Cade had no idea. House quickly looked away, down at the coaster in his hand, and realised he was tapping it anxiously on the bar. He stopped and laid the coaster down before clasping his hands together to stop himself from fiddling with something else.

He had no idea how to answer Cade's question about Wilson. He ran his tongue over his top lip and quickly glanced at his watch again. "He, uh, he sort of knows," House lied, unclasping his hands to reach up and scratch the back of his head. "Might've mentioned a thing or two. I didn't go into much detail."

[caden_walker]

“Well maybe you should go into more detail,’ Cade suggested. “Talking about it more means he has more of a chance to help you…not to mention make you more comfortable with it.”

Cade leaned in a little closer to House so no one would overhear him. “Tell me, are you more put off by the idea that you might be attracted to men, or that finding yourself attracted to men…or a man…means that you might not know yourself as well as you once thought? Because, judging from what I know about you so far - though admittedly that’s not much - I wouldn’t think you’d be that hung up about sexuality categories…distinctions…whatever. But…maybe you are someone who really doesn’t like the idea that they don’t know themselves all that well.”

Cade shrugged and then smiled, wanting to lighten things up a little. “Because…hey, if you find yourself attracted to men after being attracted to only women, who knows what else you might be capable of, right? Rescuing kittens from trees? Helping grandmas across roads? That sounds like your kind of nightmare.”

[dr_gregoryhouse]

The way Cade kept on about Wilson, House felt like he had a sign stapled to his head that read 'Wilson is my partner'. Not to mention the fact that he was extremely paranoid that he might accidentally let slip about Wilson's sexuality, too. It was difficult not to think about that when Cade made suggestions about talking to Wilson about his sexuality issues.

He darted his eyes at Cade when Cade leaned in closer to him, then relaxed when he realised Cade wasn't trying to pull a move on him. God, get a grip, he chided himself. He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly as he thought about Cade's question. Not that Cade gave him a chance to reply; House snorted at what Cade then said next, relaxing a little at the lightened tone of the subject.

"Yeah, and doing camp things like wearing aprons in the kitchen and walking around with a daintily limp wrist," he replied dryly. He sobered again, picking up the coaster once more to study it closely with his elbows resting on the bar.

"I'm not hung up about sexuality," he said after a pause, frowning down at the coaster. "Just never expected it to be a personal issue."

[caden_walker]

“Nothing wrong with being camp,” Cade said, smiling. His expression then became more serious as he took in House’s expression. “I guess that is the hard part, the being personal thing. For my part, I just try to roll with the punches in life.” Cade paused a moment, looking away with a slightly distant expression on his face. “Not that it’s easy to do that. I’ve fallen in the gutter before…almost literally.”

Looking back at House, Cade smiled again, back to his jovial self. “You’ve just gotta learn to accept it I guess. Agonising over it for months…or years…is not going to get you anywhere is it? Trust me, there are much worse things that you could have realised about yourself.” Cade nudged House’s knee with his own. “Look at the bright side, you haven’t suddenly felt the need to accept Jesus into your heart or realised a desire to take up ballet. Being attracted to men…not the shittiest thing to happen, even though it might feel like it for a while.”

[dr_gregoryhouse]

House lightly tapped the edge of the coaster on the bar as Cade talked, raising his brows when Cade said he'd almost literally fallen in the gutter before. He glanced across at him curiously, wondering when that had happened and why, and who caused that to happen. Some ass who had a huge hang up about homosexuality, perhaps?

Even though he was just speculating, he couldn't help the brief stab of anger that clenched his stomach; that some moron would have that much of a hang up about anything remotely gay that they'd feel an irrational need to rough a guy up.

He met Cade's eyes when Cade looked back at him again, though he didn't return the smile. He dropped his eyes to Cade's knee when he felt it nudging against his own. Cade was right about the fact that agonising wasn't going to get him very far. House knew that himself. He just couldn't seem to get past the agonising part itself. The things that had happened between Wilson, Cuddy and himself certainly hadn't helped in that department.

He snorted quietly when Cade joked that at least he hadn't accepted Jesus. "I'd be a little hard-pressed for doing ballet, even if I wanted to," he replied, glancing pointedly at his cane. "And as for accepting Jesus: to you, I'm an atheist, but to God I'd be the Loyal Opposition."

House then sobered, falling silent as he thought over everything else Cade had said. Cade made it sound so easy. He sighed, then looked across at Cade once more and studied his face. Not for the first time, House suddenly wondered what it would be like to kiss another man that wasn't Wilson. Or sleep with another man that wasn't Wilson.