Life Is Bleak
Oh man. Here I am, sitting at my computer at 6:30pm with a 20 page paper on my To-Do List. I'm on page 1, which is actually really good considering last time I had an assignment this large I started at 10 o'clock and didn't sleep at all that night, barely finishing it before the deadline.
Here's my problem: Once I finish this paper, I'm done with this semester. Is it a relaxing vacation from school? Nope, it's work at Microcenter. Oh, how I loathe that place. I don't want to cashier anymore, I want that damn State Department job, but oh no, it takes 2 months to process the application.
I hate retail, I was not meant to do the same damn thing over and over again and be subserviant to people because I wear a nametag that says "Hi, My Name is Paul". I don't want to answer people's questions about technology that I probably know nothing about, I don't want to go into general sales because I'm not even sure if I even remember the layout of that store. Not to mention, after me and my brother missed our first drug test, we haven't recieved a call after the second one concerning employment. I guess I'll call tomorrow and bug HR again to make sure me and Mike have employment over winter break. Frankly, I'm hoping that say "sorry, we don't need you" and I can go home and Mom can yell at me for not having a job over winter break and I can get through this month, get back to school, finish up my degree, start work with the government, and move on with my life.
College is nice, but I want some purposeful work, I don't want to write a 20 page paper examining Samuel P. Huntington's philosophy of history, I want a boss to tell me to 'process these applications and forward them to HR, and get back to the IT department regarding the surplus budget for CAT-5 cables' or at least something that sounds freaking professional.
Maybe I just feel like I don't belong at Microcenter. I'd almost rather go back to foodlion (almost). I'm thinking I should be a waiter; no one inherrently treats you like crap, your job is very clear on what you need to know and what you need to do, the pay is great, and you get to interject your own personality into your job to make it interesting I guess.
I don't even care if the government provides the most boring jobs known to man. It's the government, it's a job that LOOKS and SOUNDS good. Nobody respects Foodlion or Microcenter in the realm of serious employment, and those jobs teach you anywhere from 0-1 lasting skills that you can put on the bargaining table for a top-dollar employer at a job fair.
It doesn't even matter if the government teaches me nothing and provides me with no additional skills, the name has WEIGHT. It's the freaking GOVERNMENT, you can't ignore them...and you get a security clearance for working the INTERNSHIP? That's a trump card.
I've never looked forward to winter break less. I want to stay in classes and finish my degree and get out of here. Finally, I have a window into the future, I can see clearly what the rest of my life might look like, and I'm totally satisfied with starting out with a State Department internship and moving into Government Contracting. I don't even think I've "grown up" any, or was really that immature to begin with...I've just never been able to see so clearly where my life is headed, and I love it. I mean, what DOES a government major do? My answer was: work retail jobs for shitty wages. But wait, yes, it is possible to WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT AS A GOVERNMENT MAJOR, even if your connection/foot in the door is via some of the freakiest coincidences ever.
I'm lucky, I'll say that right now. Given how I've been living my life, the choices I've made, I'm fortunate to end up where I am. That is the strongest evidence for a divine being: the fact that I now have a hope of being successful in this life.
ARGH, but I just have to get through WINTER BREAK, oh damn you Winter Break, shrivel up and die and let me move on with my life, please!!!
Sincerely,
Paul
Here's my problem: Once I finish this paper, I'm done with this semester. Is it a relaxing vacation from school? Nope, it's work at Microcenter. Oh, how I loathe that place. I don't want to cashier anymore, I want that damn State Department job, but oh no, it takes 2 months to process the application.
I hate retail, I was not meant to do the same damn thing over and over again and be subserviant to people because I wear a nametag that says "Hi, My Name is Paul". I don't want to answer people's questions about technology that I probably know nothing about, I don't want to go into general sales because I'm not even sure if I even remember the layout of that store. Not to mention, after me and my brother missed our first drug test, we haven't recieved a call after the second one concerning employment. I guess I'll call tomorrow and bug HR again to make sure me and Mike have employment over winter break. Frankly, I'm hoping that say "sorry, we don't need you" and I can go home and Mom can yell at me for not having a job over winter break and I can get through this month, get back to school, finish up my degree, start work with the government, and move on with my life.
College is nice, but I want some purposeful work, I don't want to write a 20 page paper examining Samuel P. Huntington's philosophy of history, I want a boss to tell me to 'process these applications and forward them to HR, and get back to the IT department regarding the surplus budget for CAT-5 cables' or at least something that sounds freaking professional.
Maybe I just feel like I don't belong at Microcenter. I'd almost rather go back to foodlion (almost). I'm thinking I should be a waiter; no one inherrently treats you like crap, your job is very clear on what you need to know and what you need to do, the pay is great, and you get to interject your own personality into your job to make it interesting I guess.
I don't even care if the government provides the most boring jobs known to man. It's the government, it's a job that LOOKS and SOUNDS good. Nobody respects Foodlion or Microcenter in the realm of serious employment, and those jobs teach you anywhere from 0-1 lasting skills that you can put on the bargaining table for a top-dollar employer at a job fair.
It doesn't even matter if the government teaches me nothing and provides me with no additional skills, the name has WEIGHT. It's the freaking GOVERNMENT, you can't ignore them...and you get a security clearance for working the INTERNSHIP? That's a trump card.
I've never looked forward to winter break less. I want to stay in classes and finish my degree and get out of here. Finally, I have a window into the future, I can see clearly what the rest of my life might look like, and I'm totally satisfied with starting out with a State Department internship and moving into Government Contracting. I don't even think I've "grown up" any, or was really that immature to begin with...I've just never been able to see so clearly where my life is headed, and I love it. I mean, what DOES a government major do? My answer was: work retail jobs for shitty wages. But wait, yes, it is possible to WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT AS A GOVERNMENT MAJOR, even if your connection/foot in the door is via some of the freakiest coincidences ever.
I'm lucky, I'll say that right now. Given how I've been living my life, the choices I've made, I'm fortunate to end up where I am. That is the strongest evidence for a divine being: the fact that I now have a hope of being successful in this life.
ARGH, but I just have to get through WINTER BREAK, oh damn you Winter Break, shrivel up and die and let me move on with my life, please!!!
Sincerely,
Paul