Oh sweet surrender, oh what a night!
why have i been wanting to listen to the four seasons lately is beyond me, them and jimmy eat world. I guess for some reason listening to their music makes me happy, which is wierd cuz very few things make me happy now-a-days and i didnt think oldies would be one of them. Who knew? I honestly am starting to think im bipolar, no joke. I have moments when im really happy and love everything then a thought pops into my head and im so depressed, i'll go home early only to be anxiety ridden and not able to fall asleep til 6 in the morning. And if you know me you know i'll fall asleep before anybody else, so why can't i sleep? A few days ago it was because of my ear infection but now i just cant do it. Im sure as hell not happy at work anymore, or i'll be pissy when i get there and then my mood will completely change and i'll be happy by the time i leave. I dunno i would just like a steady mood of contentness all of the time. Im actually looking forward to florida (although i would rather be in michigan more hands down) cuz im pretty sure im gonna sleep the whole time. I doubt my dickhead father would allow that but thats what i feel like doing. I have a whole eight days off of work starting tuesday im gonna relax and sleep. I'll be gone for a whole six days and i'll miss you all. (bitches better miss me) It'll be a nice change for a bit and thats what i need is a change if only for a few days. Plus it'll help me feel better about dick head, which im already feeling better about cuz i've realized that im the beat damn thing that can happen to any guy, and fuck them if they dont see it. then they're just missing out. Plus i make a damn good girlfriend, so somebody find me a guy cuz im sorta sick of being surrounded by couples. I love you all dearly but the cuteness (yeah even though all you do is fight its still fuckin cute) is making me wanna hang myself. God what a douche! And the thing is i was watching to catch a predator last night and it totally made me lose all faith in men. I couldn't even be with a guy even though i want to cuz they all are scumbag liars who just wanna hurt you even though they make you think that they dont. or better yet promise you they wont and look so damn cute while they say it i believe them. You know what no fuck guys i dont wanna see another one that isnt a friend or eye candy on the tv ever again! I dont even fucking know anymore. I just give up!