my old brain
i was googling an old friend of mine who i haven't heard from in a long time and i found this old bulletin board that she used to moderate... i started reading the various conversations and the stuff that i wrote in there back in the year 2000 and i have to say it was kind of freaky to read stuff I forgot writing or thinking. I kind of remember being that person once upon a time... but i don't remember how those things i said were born in my brain. i have to say i was REALLY dorky though... much dorkier than i ever considered myself to be. but if i ever met that kid i would probably enjoy talking to him.
here were some interesting morsels that i found...
September 20, 2000 - in response to a response to the question "what kind of sperhero would you be" in which the respondent said he'd have a "very sexy babe" as a sidekick...
"hmmm... i would have to think twice about having a babe as a sidekick... i mean... yeah its the obvious choice at first glance... lots of perks and all... but then you also must consider all the possible fallbacks, i.e... lets say for instance you save a hot chick from a burning building... well you can just throw any thanks-for- saving-my-life-sex out the window if youve already got sexual tension going on with your sidekick... and then theres the whole PMS thing. I think the sidekick would have to be a dog. A rottweiler. Its perfect if you think about it. As for my costume... i would look very matrix. My super powers would be comparable to superman's powers except for i could manipilaute reality and i wouldnt give a damn about the good of the people. and instead of kryptonite, my only weakness would be all you can eat sushi buffets..."
May 21, 2000 - on Ethan Hawke
"is it just me or is ethan hawke really annoying??? i mean... i know hes got this... sex-symbol-type-pretty-boy-but-i-have-a-mind-too-and-i-hate-the-fakeness-in-hollywood-becuase-im-really-anti-establishment-so-i-decide-not-to-wash-or-shave-cuz-im-cool-like-dat-and-im-really-sensitive-too-see-look-im-crying-and-running-in-the-rain-and-stuff... thing going on... but thats exactly why i think hes a big loser. He tries too hard to be cool and apparently he believes cool=dirty... and its just kinda sad to see someone be so incredibly lame all the time like that... i kind of pity him in a way... hes the last of the grunge martyrs... only hes still alive... please... someone put him out of his misery and sabotage the brakes on his ethan-hawke-type car..."
September 5, 2005 - on korean BBQ
"i think when you die... and youve lived a reasonably good life... and your standing at heavens gate... and theres all the music and angels and the bright light and everything... and the whole eternal bliss thing... well i think the first thing you get when you cross over is korean BBQ."
September 5, 2000 - on christian rock
"the worst is when it almost sounds good for a second and you wonder... "hmmmm... is this new?" and then they kick in with something about jesus... and you feel duped. I think I'm evil.
about those wafer cookies (aka "the body of christ")... i used to be catholic... trust me dont worry about it... they suck... it basically tastes like styrofoam... but it dissolves and leaves a stale aftertaste. youre supposed to pray and reflect while its in your mouth... but i mostly just questioned catholicism quietly to myself."
June 29, 2000 - in response to ladulcinea's hyper-literal yo mama jokes.
"yo mama breath stinks so bad... she needs to carry a pack of gum around with her and periodically chew pieces throughout the day to help mask the foul odor."
here were some interesting morsels that i found...
September 20, 2000 - in response to a response to the question "what kind of sperhero would you be" in which the respondent said he'd have a "very sexy babe" as a sidekick...
"hmmm... i would have to think twice about having a babe as a sidekick... i mean... yeah its the obvious choice at first glance... lots of perks and all... but then you also must consider all the possible fallbacks, i.e... lets say for instance you save a hot chick from a burning building... well you can just throw any thanks-for- saving-my-life-sex out the window if youve already got sexual tension going on with your sidekick... and then theres the whole PMS thing. I think the sidekick would have to be a dog. A rottweiler. Its perfect if you think about it. As for my costume... i would look very matrix. My super powers would be comparable to superman's powers except for i could manipilaute reality and i wouldnt give a damn about the good of the people. and instead of kryptonite, my only weakness would be all you can eat sushi buffets..."
May 21, 2000 - on Ethan Hawke
"is it just me or is ethan hawke really annoying??? i mean... i know hes got this... sex-symbol-type-pretty-boy-but-i-have-a-mind-too-and-i-hate-the-fakeness-in-hollywood-becuase-im-really-anti-establishment-so-i-decide-not-to-wash-or-shave-cuz-im-cool-like-dat-and-im-really-sensitive-too-see-look-im-crying-and-running-in-the-rain-and-stuff... thing going on... but thats exactly why i think hes a big loser. He tries too hard to be cool and apparently he believes cool=dirty... and its just kinda sad to see someone be so incredibly lame all the time like that... i kind of pity him in a way... hes the last of the grunge martyrs... only hes still alive... please... someone put him out of his misery and sabotage the brakes on his ethan-hawke-type car..."
September 5, 2005 - on korean BBQ
"i think when you die... and youve lived a reasonably good life... and your standing at heavens gate... and theres all the music and angels and the bright light and everything... and the whole eternal bliss thing... well i think the first thing you get when you cross over is korean BBQ."
September 5, 2000 - on christian rock
"the worst is when it almost sounds good for a second and you wonder... "hmmmm... is this new?" and then they kick in with something about jesus... and you feel duped. I think I'm evil.
about those wafer cookies (aka "the body of christ")... i used to be catholic... trust me dont worry about it... they suck... it basically tastes like styrofoam... but it dissolves and leaves a stale aftertaste. youre supposed to pray and reflect while its in your mouth... but i mostly just questioned catholicism quietly to myself."
June 29, 2000 - in response to ladulcinea's hyper-literal yo mama jokes.
"yo mama breath stinks so bad... she needs to carry a pack of gum around with her and periodically chew pieces throughout the day to help mask the foul odor."