New beginnings.
Sigh, ok so just spoke to the recruiter, and I didn't get the job at the newswire - bah.
I suppose I might look back on this further on down the road, and be grateful that I didn't get it - because I know it was more of an operations/production kind of role, and even the recruiter did warn me that it wasn't a creative role. And true enough, the feedback from the interviewer was very positive - they liked me, said I was very professional, but they thought I have misunderstood the job scope, and was afraid I might get bored after a while.
Oh well, anyway, I don't feel too bad, because there are other things in the pipeline! A 9-5 kind of full-time role would have been easier in the sense that I get an immediate social and financial structure, and just stick with that, no questions asked. But on the other hand, I might come to miss this freedom I've become so used to. I've been asked by the editor of Electric Sheep (the film magazine that used to be published by Wallflower Press, but had to be shut down this issue because my poor boss is going into insolvency - ARRRGGHH FUCKING RECESSION IN THE FUCKING UK!) to join their sales team. They're reverting to their original online format (www.electricsheepmagazine.com), and I truly love the magazine - it used to be the one light at the end of my tunnel, and I'm so chuffed that they liked me work so much they want me to come on board!
So I'll be joining them, and helping them to rake some ad revenue in by selling online space and doing other cross-promotional stuff. Amd I'll also still get to work closely with the Electric Sheep team, who are a lovely bunch! The editor Virginie is a French teacher by day, and rockabilly guitarist by night, and spends her free time interviewing avant-garde movie directors. Bloody hell, how awesome is that! It's also good cos it'll give me more online type experience, which I feel I sorely need. Sad to say, the traditional print format for magazines is slowly but steadily going the way of... I dunno... radio or something, just becoming quite irrelevant in the main scheme of things. I have to get myself out if I can. Unless, of course, Monocle decides that I'm the only person for their role, then I might be persuaded to change my tune.
Also, apart from Electric Sheep, the team will also be starting up a new women's website - wahey! And they want me to be involved in that, editorially as well! Sounds very very promising! I'll also get experience soliciting funding from the Arts Council and other such things, so that sounds pretty exciting as well.
Also, I've returned from our NYE sojourn to Glasgow feeling strangely imbued with optimism, and a bloody minded resolve to stop being a chicken and to stop whining by default. I believe making the decision to quit smoking was really me trying to flex my almost non-existent will power, and so far, it has worked! We've been smoke free for almost 3 weeks now, and even got through NYE without a puff! Amazing! The best thing about it is that is that it has proven to me that look, you CAN make decisions, and you CAN stick by them. I think this entire year, I have been living this grudging existence in London and all the while harbouring resentment inside towards Jacob because I feel he's to be held responsible for bringing me here in the first place. And that's bullshit, because I KNOW how much I wanted to come here. But I suppose when things went pear-shaped, it was easier, in my mind, to back peddle and then point an accusatory finger and say: Hey, you started this, so YOU sort it out. What a fucked up attitude.
The holidays were really instrumental in giving me some neutral space to sort out my "negativity". Think I've returned feeling more... robust, feeling more fortified, somehow. And also steeled by the conscious decision to not let this get the better of me.
Things are actually looking very good - Jacob bought me a 6-week illustration course at Central St Martin's, which will start when I get back from my much anticipated two-week visit to Singapore. Am really looking forward to it! I think it'll do wonders in helping me kickstart something that has been flagging for much too long, and hopefully give me some really useful ideas of where to take my work, and which direction I should be considering. Also, think it will really inspire a spurt of productivity, so fingers crossed, am very very excited about this!
Also, can't stop congratulating myself on the wonderful idea I've come up with for Jacob's bee-day in feb! For the longest time, I admit I've allowed it to become a flaccid event that eventually gets overlooked and punctuated with a half-hearted gift, but NO - this year, I resolve to make it GRAND. Jacob's always been a sucker for grand gestures, and I think it's about time I rose to the challenge and slapped a good one down. I think he'll C-R-Y, which is the whole idea, heh heh heh! This has something to do with my illustration course, so hopefully the two can align themselves seamlessly. heh heh heh *rubbing hands with glee* More to be updated...
Ok, think that's about it for now.