hmmm... something strangely familiar about this scene
So, about the only thing that's different about this entry is that I'm writing it in the McIntyre computer lab rather than the Howarth one, simply because last week, it was noticed by one of the CSO's (full-time staff type people) that I was down there. I was informed that I should not use it, as I was "using my position to gain access to someplace that the rest of campus cannot." WTF? I thought that was what my job description was- hence the large ring of keys. Oy. Favorite quote of the night: *drunk/stoned freshman girl, looking directly at my bright blue jacket with 'security' written in large letters and on a patch* "Oh, are you security?" Ah, the glory of the drunk and stupid.
Connected to that, I had an interesting thought the other day as I was locking up various buildings. I rarely feel scared in a number of buildings when I'm alone in them- Wyatt, McIntyre, Thompson (except for the creepy basement rooms), most of Howarth- but there are a couple that just freak me out. Example 1: the library. Walking around there alone was one of the scariest things I've done, since it's 1) dark, 2) huge and, 3)filled with shelves, so you can't really see more than a few feet in any direction in many places. Example 2: the chapel. That one's the most interesting, since it seems like it should be a safe, inviting place, but it really isn't. Somewhat silly as it sounds, I feel like there's somebody watching me when I'm in there- and, depending on your beliefs, perhaps there is. I mean, I'm not a religious person (pretty much at all) but I do feel I'm very spiritual, particularly in that I believe in non-human spirits of a number of varieties, and I definitely feel the presence of a number of them in that building. So yeah, that's my comments on how I can freak myself out when I'm wandering around alone- go active imagination!
And now for something completely different(and this is not related to any one event or person, it's just something that has been in my mind for a while and which has found its way out now). You know how in math, when you graph a sine function ( I think), you end up with a wavy line that crosses and recrosses the zero line? I often feel like that line, and everything around me is fluctuating in and out. It's ranged from friendships that have come and gone and even come again, to friends/loved ones' emotional states, to the weather. And I don't kow if I really like being like that. I mena, sure, it's good to be stable and all (and I'm not even really all that stable all the time- like, to continue the metaphor, the line that looks straight but on a small enough scale actually has a number of fluctuations of its own), but a part of my wishes I was a little less so. It kind of feels like everybody else feels things more strongly, changes more, is less stuck in a routine (of any type, really). I don't know, I guess it's just me falling back on feeling like I'm really not a particularly exciting person- sure, i can be fun, and maybe even interesting, once in a while, but never like that guy who's always got a story or is always witty or spontaneous or profound or any of those things. Don't get me wrong, I like who I am and where I am in my life, I just sometimes wish I had a little more to offer. And no, this isn't a cry for help or pity or anything, just me musing away in my usual half-asleep, fadingly-caffinated state.
So there you have it, the inner workings of a sleep-deprived UPS security guard- anybody feel safe now? :-) Good night.
Connected to that, I had an interesting thought the other day as I was locking up various buildings. I rarely feel scared in a number of buildings when I'm alone in them- Wyatt, McIntyre, Thompson (except for the creepy basement rooms), most of Howarth- but there are a couple that just freak me out. Example 1: the library. Walking around there alone was one of the scariest things I've done, since it's 1) dark, 2) huge and, 3)filled with shelves, so you can't really see more than a few feet in any direction in many places. Example 2: the chapel. That one's the most interesting, since it seems like it should be a safe, inviting place, but it really isn't. Somewhat silly as it sounds, I feel like there's somebody watching me when I'm in there- and, depending on your beliefs, perhaps there is. I mean, I'm not a religious person (pretty much at all) but I do feel I'm very spiritual, particularly in that I believe in non-human spirits of a number of varieties, and I definitely feel the presence of a number of them in that building. So yeah, that's my comments on how I can freak myself out when I'm wandering around alone- go active imagination!
And now for something completely different(and this is not related to any one event or person, it's just something that has been in my mind for a while and which has found its way out now). You know how in math, when you graph a sine function ( I think), you end up with a wavy line that crosses and recrosses the zero line? I often feel like that line, and everything around me is fluctuating in and out. It's ranged from friendships that have come and gone and even come again, to friends/loved ones' emotional states, to the weather. And I don't kow if I really like being like that. I mena, sure, it's good to be stable and all (and I'm not even really all that stable all the time- like, to continue the metaphor, the line that looks straight but on a small enough scale actually has a number of fluctuations of its own), but a part of my wishes I was a little less so. It kind of feels like everybody else feels things more strongly, changes more, is less stuck in a routine (of any type, really). I don't know, I guess it's just me falling back on feeling like I'm really not a particularly exciting person- sure, i can be fun, and maybe even interesting, once in a while, but never like that guy who's always got a story or is always witty or spontaneous or profound or any of those things. Don't get me wrong, I like who I am and where I am in my life, I just sometimes wish I had a little more to offer. And no, this isn't a cry for help or pity or anything, just me musing away in my usual half-asleep, fadingly-caffinated state.
So there you have it, the inner workings of a sleep-deprived UPS security guard- anybody feel safe now? :-) Good night.