Monkey's worst nightmare
Written for the pirategasm Halloween Challenge because I can’t bear to see the monkey left out. Goes with the Nuts Out Series, although it's not really a part of it. You can find the other Nuts in my tags.
Author: p0wdermonkey
Characters: Monkey, Jack, Barbossa, and one other.
Rating: Mostly Harmless
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the above, much as I’d like to.
For porridgebird who felt sorry for the unclaimed simian.
The Monkey’s Worst Nightmare
The monkey likes to catnap, which means nightmares aren’t confined to the night. Anyone would think a nice afternoon nap up in the sunny crow’s nest would encourage dreams of tall trees and ripe fruit, but one of those sudden changes in the weather has brought black clouds, a sense of impending doom, and a new nightmare so terrible that something must be done right now to ensure such horror can never come to pass.
Once upon a time, the worst sleep brought was dreams of the Bad Man who shot Mummy, quickly banished on waking by the presence of Daddy (the one the humans call Captain Barbossa) and the memory of how he and his fearsome crew stormed the Bad Man’s warehouse and carried Little Jack off to a new life at sea. If they also carried off the Bad Man’s stores of gunpowder, tobacco, and rum, this was surely just a bonus.
Once or twice, after listening to the crew discuss the old times, Jack had dreams of sitting alone on a tiny spit of land, watching the Pearl fade into the distance. But these dreams too were easily shaken off: Daddy would never do such a thing.
Then came New Jack, first stealing Daddy’s ship, then sharing it with him, and life became more complicated than a monkey-even an undead one-could entirely cope with. New nightmares evolved featuring New Jack in a variety of threatening poses.
It wasn’t so bad when he was just waving his smoking pistol or clenching his hands around a slender simian throat. None of that really hurt anymore, even if Daddy hadn’t been there to protect her, which of course he was.
No, the really bad ones are when New Jack and Daddy sit laughing together and First Jack can’t make them notice her, no matter how hard she tries. Sometimes, Daddy has built New Jack a perch and made him soft velvet britches and a waistcoat, all exactly like hers, only bigger, and he leans in close to feed New Jack an enormous nut out of her special bowl. In the worst of these dreams, New Jack lounges on his perch and strokes Daddy’s face with the beaded tip of his newly grown, beautiful, long, furry tail while Daddy-brimming with wonder and admiration-tickles him behind the ears.
But even these dreams are nothing an intelligent primate can’t learn to live with since, on waking, perch, clothing and tail are invariably restored to their rightful owner. Admittedly, New Jack has somehow acquired her nut bowl, but he seems happy to share. In fact, New Jack-whether scrambling and hooting in the rigging or curled up snug with Daddy, herself, and a nice bowl of nuts-is proving to be pleasant company and well worth a few bad dreams.
He won’t last, of course: Jack knows he has the centre of Daddy’s chart sewn into his coat, so he’s not planning on staying. She supposes she could keep him on board, either by showing Daddy the hole in his rolled up chart or by surreptitiously returning New Jack’s loot to its rightful place. Perhaps she will, but then again, it might be more fun to have Daddy to herself again.
On the whole, she’s content to wait and see what the future brings. Or she was until that nightmare in the crow’s nest left her trembling with ill-suppressed terror. This time, the creature Daddy was petting wasn’t funny New Jack, but something much, much worse: a hideous monster with dead, unblinking eyes, a sinister grin, corpselike posture, and an eerie twist to its neck as if the vile thing were still dangling from a gibbet.
This loathsome beast has been on the ship since Nassau, though she’d thought it confined to Mr. Gibb’s hammock. Never had she thought to hear Daddy whisper endearments to it, or see it usurp her place on his shoulder. And never shall it!
As the Black Pearl runs into Tortuga ahead of the storm, First Jack vows that, however things turn out between Daddy and New Jack, one thing’s for sure. That damned teddy bear is never setting paw on her ship again!
The End
Note:
If you’re wondering about Jack’s gender (the monkey, that is), rather too much is explained here.
Added 11th December 2007:
ladymouse2 made a wonderful picture of little Jack's nightmare.
justawench has posted it here. Take a look!
Many thanks to both of them.
Author: p0wdermonkey
Characters: Monkey, Jack, Barbossa, and one other.
Rating: Mostly Harmless
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the above, much as I’d like to.
For porridgebird who felt sorry for the unclaimed simian.
The Monkey’s Worst Nightmare
The monkey likes to catnap, which means nightmares aren’t confined to the night. Anyone would think a nice afternoon nap up in the sunny crow’s nest would encourage dreams of tall trees and ripe fruit, but one of those sudden changes in the weather has brought black clouds, a sense of impending doom, and a new nightmare so terrible that something must be done right now to ensure such horror can never come to pass.
Once upon a time, the worst sleep brought was dreams of the Bad Man who shot Mummy, quickly banished on waking by the presence of Daddy (the one the humans call Captain Barbossa) and the memory of how he and his fearsome crew stormed the Bad Man’s warehouse and carried Little Jack off to a new life at sea. If they also carried off the Bad Man’s stores of gunpowder, tobacco, and rum, this was surely just a bonus.
Once or twice, after listening to the crew discuss the old times, Jack had dreams of sitting alone on a tiny spit of land, watching the Pearl fade into the distance. But these dreams too were easily shaken off: Daddy would never do such a thing.
Then came New Jack, first stealing Daddy’s ship, then sharing it with him, and life became more complicated than a monkey-even an undead one-could entirely cope with. New nightmares evolved featuring New Jack in a variety of threatening poses.
It wasn’t so bad when he was just waving his smoking pistol or clenching his hands around a slender simian throat. None of that really hurt anymore, even if Daddy hadn’t been there to protect her, which of course he was.
No, the really bad ones are when New Jack and Daddy sit laughing together and First Jack can’t make them notice her, no matter how hard she tries. Sometimes, Daddy has built New Jack a perch and made him soft velvet britches and a waistcoat, all exactly like hers, only bigger, and he leans in close to feed New Jack an enormous nut out of her special bowl. In the worst of these dreams, New Jack lounges on his perch and strokes Daddy’s face with the beaded tip of his newly grown, beautiful, long, furry tail while Daddy-brimming with wonder and admiration-tickles him behind the ears.
But even these dreams are nothing an intelligent primate can’t learn to live with since, on waking, perch, clothing and tail are invariably restored to their rightful owner. Admittedly, New Jack has somehow acquired her nut bowl, but he seems happy to share. In fact, New Jack-whether scrambling and hooting in the rigging or curled up snug with Daddy, herself, and a nice bowl of nuts-is proving to be pleasant company and well worth a few bad dreams.
He won’t last, of course: Jack knows he has the centre of Daddy’s chart sewn into his coat, so he’s not planning on staying. She supposes she could keep him on board, either by showing Daddy the hole in his rolled up chart or by surreptitiously returning New Jack’s loot to its rightful place. Perhaps she will, but then again, it might be more fun to have Daddy to herself again.
On the whole, she’s content to wait and see what the future brings. Or she was until that nightmare in the crow’s nest left her trembling with ill-suppressed terror. This time, the creature Daddy was petting wasn’t funny New Jack, but something much, much worse: a hideous monster with dead, unblinking eyes, a sinister grin, corpselike posture, and an eerie twist to its neck as if the vile thing were still dangling from a gibbet.
This loathsome beast has been on the ship since Nassau, though she’d thought it confined to Mr. Gibb’s hammock. Never had she thought to hear Daddy whisper endearments to it, or see it usurp her place on his shoulder. And never shall it!
As the Black Pearl runs into Tortuga ahead of the storm, First Jack vows that, however things turn out between Daddy and New Jack, one thing’s for sure. That damned teddy bear is never setting paw on her ship again!
The End
Note:
If you’re wondering about Jack’s gender (the monkey, that is), rather too much is explained here.
Added 11th December 2007:
ladymouse2 made a wonderful picture of little Jack's nightmare.
justawench has posted it here. Take a look!
Many thanks to both of them.