Its been nearly a year
The calendar says its been nearly a year s, but affter rereading it seems like a lifetime.Many things have happpened , many more hurdles , obstacles pain and despair. But also has come belonging , love , and family of choice. Some moments have been overwelmin both for joy and despair. The mirrors of the 2 cauising spectrums of dim and dark throughout the last 12 months. Losing mom last year was the first step in losing my heart .Like a canon blasting a hole in the center of my being. I miss her more than breathe at times and I must remember to breathe. Driving home the longest road ever traveled , alone , and lost. Angels sent to me protected my splintering soul until I could once again be within the confines of people who love me.
Several months of denial , and imagining the pains away , left me only weak and angry! Going through the motions in life .
My heart is torn for the 2 lives I have lived, being home during the most horrific days I have endured sparrin parners guilt and desire. Guilt for walking away thinking only of myself so long ago, and desire to be beside the family I am a part of. Where did I come from , who am I , where do I belong????????
If it were not for Sandi , I would have most assuredly splinter from these voices within. The enormity of all , and feelings of complete isolation. Where do I go from here??????
Joe and I began talking and we decided to join facebook. Oh what a world opened up !
Several months of denial , and imagining the pains away , left me only weak and angry! Going through the motions in life .
My heart is torn for the 2 lives I have lived, being home during the most horrific days I have endured sparrin parners guilt and desire. Guilt for walking away thinking only of myself so long ago, and desire to be beside the family I am a part of. Where did I come from , who am I , where do I belong????????
If it were not for Sandi , I would have most assuredly splinter from these voices within. The enormity of all , and feelings of complete isolation. Where do I go from here??????
Joe and I began talking and we decided to join facebook. Oh what a world opened up !