Where The Sidewalk Ends
WTF!
If I could type fast enough all of the things running through my mind would still be running 2 years from now. The things that are happening around me I JUST DONT GET!!! what the hell is going on? In the night did the Earth fall off its axis and this is what havoc is before it becomes extinct? How can so much love and care come from some and the faces of cruelty be shown in others. Over and Over again inmy mind I replay conversations and responses , and I cant believe it after as much as I could during. Am I mentally blind, for what I dont see? How can a Dr. be so cruel in a time of obvious crisis? I know many are not known for their bedside manner and that some lack street wisdom in contrast to their knowledge. But common sense has to come to the forefront at some point. Hearing Dr nan and her bitterness and contempt ws unimaginable. Evenif the process behind what she was saying were true. She could obviously look at me and see I was distraught, yet never once heeded that. Yes I survived , and for that I am greatful , but still amazes me how I was even allowed to walk out of that office inthe condition I was in. I question whether this is where I should be going at all.
Felicia , what the hell is going on inhermind? Is she protecting herself ? Is she just plain out there ?Is she taking drugs? something is NOT right ! She said she came over the other day . Said she talked to me and I didnt answer so she left. She didnt try to wake me , make sure I was really ok. Courtesy of sleeping maybe , but with whats going on in my life right now , one touch could mean the difference of coming to , and not . I even told her about the paramedics Tuesday night and how upset Kath was, the old Felicia woul dhave seen how kath was doing and dealing with it all. I amso utterly disappointed in her behavior. I dont even want to talk to her lately. I just dont have the energy!
I dont have the energy for much these days. Has to find a level ground so I can find my footing. That cliff is caling ,and the wind is blowing me . I cant take much more wind !