(no subject)
i miss you so much it hurts. it's a literal pain in my chest every time i think of you. it's like someone took my breath away and i remember you did used to take my breath away and it didn't feel this way.
and i'm fine. i've been fine, i'll be fine, and i'm optimistic.
but i also know that i really, truly, and honestly know that i love you.. and now you're gone.
i can't stand not knowing how your day is going, if you're alright, if you're taking care of yourself, and sleeping. I worry all the time even though i shouldn't. i think about all the things i said that i shouldn't have, all the things i did that were wrong.
when all i want right now is to lay in your futon all day, all night. just lay with you and look at your boo eyes. forget that my future is crazy busy and that i have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I just want to lay on your shoulders.
i know that you won't read this, and for that i'm kind of glad. i won't contact you even though it kills me not to. i don't try and get gossip about you either.. the gossip i know was painful enough. but i want to believe you're going to back. i want to believe that i was right, that my friends were wrong and you'll come back.
but next time, i'd want it to be for real.
and that may never happen.
i don't want to think about the future right now.
all i know is that right now i am typing this, groggy and tired and getting ready to go to class. and right now, i miss you, and i always love you.
and i'm fine. i've been fine, i'll be fine, and i'm optimistic.
but i also know that i really, truly, and honestly know that i love you.. and now you're gone.
i can't stand not knowing how your day is going, if you're alright, if you're taking care of yourself, and sleeping. I worry all the time even though i shouldn't. i think about all the things i said that i shouldn't have, all the things i did that were wrong.
when all i want right now is to lay in your futon all day, all night. just lay with you and look at your boo eyes. forget that my future is crazy busy and that i have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I just want to lay on your shoulders.
i know that you won't read this, and for that i'm kind of glad. i won't contact you even though it kills me not to. i don't try and get gossip about you either.. the gossip i know was painful enough. but i want to believe you're going to back. i want to believe that i was right, that my friends were wrong and you'll come back.
but next time, i'd want it to be for real.
and that may never happen.
i don't want to think about the future right now.
all i know is that right now i am typing this, groggy and tired and getting ready to go to class. and right now, i miss you, and i always love you.