Somethings broken.
I'm addicted to gaming. Like crack. I get shakey when I haven't fireballed something, or stabbed something with a magic sword. The other possibility is that I'm allergic to being myself. It doesn't suck to be me. Theres nothing terribly wrong with me, but then theres just nothing really great about me either. Like an RPG character some just don't have any power. They don't suck, they're decent, they just lack any tools to affect drastic and critical changes in themselves or the world around them.
Simon the Wanderer can move mountains. It just seems like no matter how hard I try nothing is sown, and thus never reaped. Maybe thats not the case, maybe it is. It's just hard to keep my morale up with such a drastic lack of results from moments of extreme effort. It's so much easier to slink back into my comfort zone than it is to fight the up-hill battle of existing in the real world.
We'll see, I've been steeling myself for another personal hurdle. I'm going to ask another girl for her phone number. And I'm going to try hanging out with an aquaintance totally un-related to gaming. Both of those situations are the equivolent of standing naked in the middle of a busy intersection to me, or going on stage facing a crowd of millions... naked. Whatever. They're uncomfortable in the extreme.
Also kinda put out that through-out my history any acts of chivalry or romance tend to be completely ignored. Like gold from my finger-tips is just dirt, while dirt from another's hands is gold. I understand the concept, I just don't like to think about what it means.
Well, heres to hurdles, and jumping them. AUDACES FORTUNA JUVAT! WACHUNGA!
Simon the Wanderer can move mountains. It just seems like no matter how hard I try nothing is sown, and thus never reaped. Maybe thats not the case, maybe it is. It's just hard to keep my morale up with such a drastic lack of results from moments of extreme effort. It's so much easier to slink back into my comfort zone than it is to fight the up-hill battle of existing in the real world.
We'll see, I've been steeling myself for another personal hurdle. I'm going to ask another girl for her phone number. And I'm going to try hanging out with an aquaintance totally un-related to gaming. Both of those situations are the equivolent of standing naked in the middle of a busy intersection to me, or going on stage facing a crowd of millions... naked. Whatever. They're uncomfortable in the extreme.
Also kinda put out that through-out my history any acts of chivalry or romance tend to be completely ignored. Like gold from my finger-tips is just dirt, while dirt from another's hands is gold. I understand the concept, I just don't like to think about what it means.
Well, heres to hurdles, and jumping them. AUDACES FORTUNA JUVAT! WACHUNGA!