Drabble: Stubefied
Another contribution to the Officially Unofficial Don Juan de Neville Fest.
This one picks up just where the previous one left off, having Neville looking for love in all the wrong places.
Title: Stubefied
Characters: Neville/Various, Luna/Various
Rating: R (maybe)
Word count: 370-ish
“Luna," said Neville as he sat across a library table from her. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” said Luna, never taking her eyes off the book she was studying.
“Am I-am I bad looking?” Neville asked.
That got her attention away from her work. She looked at him appraisingly, as if the thought had never occurred to her before. “No, Neville, you’re rather nice to look at. Why do you ask?”
“Because I just asked Hannah Abbott out, and she just gave me a funny look and turned me down.”
Luna smiled and went back to looking at her book. “That’s because she’s already got someone, Neville.”
“Who?” Neville asked. “I only ever see her with Mandy Brocklehurst.”
“Well, that would make sense because they’re shagging,” Luna said, turning a page, the picture of serenity.
“What? How do you know?” Neville asked incredulously.
“Because Mandy chucked me for Hannah,” was her reply.
“Oh…” Neville said. “I’m…sorry?”
“I’m not,” Luna said simply. “She wanted to go much further than I did, and anyway, I've discovred that Terry Boot is a much better kisser…”
Neville sat down quickly. “I never…I never imagined…”
“Well,” Luna said. “You were awfully busy shagging all those Quidditch players in the greenhouses, weren’t you? I’m so glad you’ve decided to move past that, but let me tell you, they’re fairly miffed about it.”
“You...you knew?” Neville asked, utterly horrified.
“Of course I knew, Neville. You’re my best friend.”
“But…but, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I figured you’d tell me eventually. So, Neville, does this mean you’re ready to find a real girlfriend, then?”
It was a hope he’d held in his heart for some time now, and it felt almost painful to share it. “Er, yeah. Reckon so.”
“Oh, good, then. Because Padma Patil has been in love with you for ages.”
“She…what?”
“Oh, yes, Neville, she cries out your name while she touches herself at night. In the showers, too. I’ve heard her there. Actually, I peeked. She's got a beautiful body.”
“She...you...what?!”
“You will be nice to her, Neville, won’t you?”
“Uh-yeah, reckon so.”
“Well, go on out to the greenhouses, then. She can usually be found lurking in the bushes at this time of night, hoping to get a glimpse of your fine arse.”
Neville ran.
**************
This one picks up just where the previous one left off, having Neville looking for love in all the wrong places.
Title: Stubefied
Characters: Neville/Various, Luna/Various
Rating: R (maybe)
Word count: 370-ish
“Luna," said Neville as he sat across a library table from her. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” said Luna, never taking her eyes off the book she was studying.
“Am I-am I bad looking?” Neville asked.
That got her attention away from her work. She looked at him appraisingly, as if the thought had never occurred to her before. “No, Neville, you’re rather nice to look at. Why do you ask?”
“Because I just asked Hannah Abbott out, and she just gave me a funny look and turned me down.”
Luna smiled and went back to looking at her book. “That’s because she’s already got someone, Neville.”
“Who?” Neville asked. “I only ever see her with Mandy Brocklehurst.”
“Well, that would make sense because they’re shagging,” Luna said, turning a page, the picture of serenity.
“What? How do you know?” Neville asked incredulously.
“Because Mandy chucked me for Hannah,” was her reply.
“Oh…” Neville said. “I’m…sorry?”
“I’m not,” Luna said simply. “She wanted to go much further than I did, and anyway, I've discovred that Terry Boot is a much better kisser…”
Neville sat down quickly. “I never…I never imagined…”
“Well,” Luna said. “You were awfully busy shagging all those Quidditch players in the greenhouses, weren’t you? I’m so glad you’ve decided to move past that, but let me tell you, they’re fairly miffed about it.”
“You...you knew?” Neville asked, utterly horrified.
“Of course I knew, Neville. You’re my best friend.”
“But…but, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I figured you’d tell me eventually. So, Neville, does this mean you’re ready to find a real girlfriend, then?”
It was a hope he’d held in his heart for some time now, and it felt almost painful to share it. “Er, yeah. Reckon so.”
“Oh, good, then. Because Padma Patil has been in love with you for ages.”
“She…what?”
“Oh, yes, Neville, she cries out your name while she touches herself at night. In the showers, too. I’ve heard her there. Actually, I peeked. She's got a beautiful body.”
“She...you...what?!”
“You will be nice to her, Neville, won’t you?”
“Uh-yeah, reckon so.”
“Well, go on out to the greenhouses, then. She can usually be found lurking in the bushes at this time of night, hoping to get a glimpse of your fine arse.”
Neville ran.
**************