Linguistics; stylistics; sf poetry being made, 2nd round; part 5...

May 20, 2006 13:01

I am more grateful than I can say for your help with this poem, and for all your contributions and criticisms and suggestions and inspirations; thank you. For me, the draft below is the final draft except for two loose ends: I still don't have a title that suits me -- the one shown is what's called a "working title" -- and I still don't have a name ( Read more... )

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Another sister speaks idiotgrrl May 20 2006, 22:50:02 UTC
Who turned him in? Was it Papa, or the cops?
Not Papa. When your comfort is at stake, everybody turns a blind eye.
We all know that.
Except my goody-goody sister.
I went around and asked the servants. No one answered.
They were all afraid of me. And Papa.
Except one man, a stern and righteous sort
Who looked me in the eye and said with some surprise
"He broke the law! The master wouldn't harbor criminals."
"Criminal?" I said. "How is it criminal?"
The footman sniffed."He broke the law," he said again.
He never understood why Papa fired him
Without a reference.
My sister never understood
How much alike they were.
Only the sentiments differ.

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Re: Response to archangelbeth....response to pgdudda... ozarque May 21 2006, 13:06:01 UTC
I like it too; thanks for posting it. I don't understand it at all, and that's part of liking it. It's engimatic.

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Re: Another sister speaks... response to idiotgrrl... ozarque May 21 2006, 12:57:01 UTC
That's very nice indeed; thank you for posting it.

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Re: Another sister speaks... response to idiotgrrl... idiotgrrl May 21 2006, 14:14:15 UTC
I put on my Slytherin hat
And spoke for someone without morals - ethics, even -
But a keen sense of what works and a devotion to
Leaving people alone.
She has a soul-twin back on Ozark
IN the mountains.

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Re: Another sister speaks idiotgrrl May 24 2006, 23:28:52 UTC
I really like this addition.

Came back again and read it.

The entire poem reminds me of the salt laws in India, and the salt fence (people have to buy salt in India or they'll die. The English collected taxes through a salt monopoly and built a fence across the country to enforce it. Gandhi's great protest involved making salt).

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Re: Another sister speaks victoriacatlady June 2 2006, 03:39:51 UTC
The entire poem reminds me of the salt laws in India, and the salt fence (people have to buy salt in India or they'll die. The English collected taxes through a salt monopoly and built a fence across the country to enforce it. Gandhi's great protest involved making salt).

That's very interesting. I'd never heard of anything like that before. I wanted to read a little more about the history of that, so I Googled "salt fence" and India and came up with nothing relevant. Which is amazing. No one has written about it?

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