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levitatethis May 12 2011, 01:41:02 UTC
aletter2elise - love the artwork! The way you've woven all the images together tells a million different possible stories and your detailing is really great. I particularly dig how you visually draw out the contrast between both men and meld it with them coming together (despite those differences).

cmk418 - love the idea of Toby going undercover into prison! It's a great twist on a story we know and raises many curious possibilities. The idea of him and Elliot knowing each other beforehand, being together already, before Toby goes in is really cool.

ozsaur - okay, I need to read the longer story asap! This is a total tease and I'm already jonesing for a fix. Not only do I like the set up here, I love the detailed breakdown of Toby's observations while killing time, curious and bored out of his mind at the same time. The way you describe everything -- from the precinct to the people to Toby's thought process -- really brings the story to life.

Toby's caustic sense of humour works really well here. It's got this sarcastic bite to it which is a great contrast to his suddenly being smitten, carefully cataloging body language, tone, physicality, everything. And suddenly Toby has a goal in mind, something to work towards, something to obsess about :-)

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ozsaur May 13 2011, 23:46:28 UTC
Thank you for your lovely comment! The longer story is in progress. Some real life issues have been dogging me, but I really want to get the longer story out there.

I'm so glad the story worked for you. The next part takes place a few months later.

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cmk418 May 30 2011, 03:18:31 UTC
Thank you! And also, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on everything during this challenge. I really appreciate it!

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