Graffixation Stories and Artwork #4
Artist: beechercreature
The Wolf in Us by cmk418
Toby’s got these moods. After three ex-wives, you’d think I’d be used to the PMSing but I never expected it from Toby.
(By the way, he hates when I refer to them like that, he prefers to think of it as going into Wolfman mode.)
We’ll be rolling along, everything going smoothly, when -bam!- he goes into a rage for the least little thing. Last time, it was about a copy of Hustler I had lying around. He ripped it in half and got up in my face about why I would need such a thing.
I should have suggested that he walk around the pod naked all the time, but I still would need a little variety.
You see, there’s a bit of the wolf in me, too.
Finding Pack by blackchaps
Title: Finding Pack
Author: blackchaps
Pairing/Fandom: Elliot/Eddie - SVU/Wanted - it helps to have seen the last episode of Wanted, and I picked up Elliot right as he was ending his Dani Beck stage. Sorry if you're confused now!
Warnings: biting, marking, misuse of tenses, crackfic?
Beta: Thanks Zap!!
Disclaimer: Neither show belongs to me, and this was written for extreme fun, not profit.
Summary: Elliot is afflicted, but he's learned to cope, and then he finds out what he's been missing.
*********
Wrapping his hands around the railing, Elliot squeezed as hard as possible, shoving his fury down. Water lapped gently against the pier, sirens wailed across the river, and the traffic thumped its way across the bridge, but none of it roared as loud as the strum of his blood.
The affliction pounded through him, and he measured his breaths, only releasing the metal when the nearby joints groaned from the stress.
"Elliot?"
He forced himself to turn slowly and keep his hands loose. "Dani's gone."
"Most cops can't handle SVU. You know that," Cragen said slowly.
The anger pulsed, right beneath the surface. "You keeping tabs on me? Worried I'll get drunk and hurt someone?"
Cragen eased his hands into his pockets, showing no threat. "Met a buddy here. I saw you both leave, and yes, I worry."
Unable to believe, Elliot let out a small growl. "Not much of a buddy if you watch him drink."
"He owns the place." Cragen shrugged and turned to face away from the river. "Take the weekend. Get your head on straight."
Elliot hated those familiar words, but this time his affliction demanded his time anyway. He nodded with just the right amount of grimace. "I'll be in Tuesday," he said, pushing the limit.
"Good." Cragen stilled in obvious surprise and then left him there with only a curt wave as a goodbye.
Very softly, Elliot indulged in a snarl, and his blood rushed through his veins that much faster. Fear pushed him to trot for his car, and he wasted no time getting out on the interstate. His affliction had trapped him in Central Park often enough, but this time he intended to get up to Harriman State Park. It connected to other parks as well, and as long as he watched out for West Point, he'd be fine.
Well, not fine, but plenty of room to stretch his legs. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and drove faster. His usual roadside stop greeted him and he parked his car in what he considered his spot. His buddy in the Highway Patrol kept an eye on the car for him. Of course, his buddy thought he cheated on his wife, but that couldn't be blamed on Elliot.
Waiting until traffic thinned out made Elliot's skin burn, but he sat still until the call roared and then he walked, walked, past the restrooms and down the small hill to the tree-line No one yelled after him, and he took one deep breath before he ran.
And ran.
Crouching down beside a boulder that he'd marked as his own, he removed his clothes, putting everything in a lockbox that he returned to its hiding place. Finished, he raised his face to the moon and let the affliction take him.
*********
Running took over his life. Nothing left but that, and he couldn't make himself care about anyone or anything.
*********
The wind shifted, ruffling the fur on Elliot's neck, and he turned into it. The earth felt good under his paws, and the rabbit dinner rumbled happily in his stomach. Life out here never let him down, never hurt him.
His nose twitched, and he stilled in shock. His predator brain and his human compassion warred for an instant, and then he broke into a mile-eating lope with a snarl dancing on his lips. No one hunted these grounds but him, and he intended to keep it that way.
The affliction ruled few people, and in all his years, he'd only met one other. His father, who drank to wash it away and tried to beat it out of Elliot's body. The booze hadn't always worked, and those nights had been hellish. The beatings had almost been easier to bear, and they hadn't succeeded in curing him. His curse poured down into him with the moon whether he invited it or not. Over the years, he'd learned control and to keep his human wits about him, or he wouldn't have survived. His father, the devil owned his soul, died an early death, refusing to bend to the wolf that raged inside him.
Elliot hated his wolf too, but that didn't mean he'd drink himself to death over it. As long as he managed his affliction, kept it under tight control, it didn't hurt anyone, except a few rabbits and once a deer. Okay, twice on the deer. He licked his chops in remembrance and stopped to check his direction and trail.
The scent filled his nose, but he didn't howl in anger. He trotted that much faster, keeping a sharp eye out for an ambush and refusing to speculate on the truth until he knew exactly what, or who, hunted in his territory.
*********
He threw back his head and howled, letting his anger and pain rip into the wind. Death stalked him tonight, and he welcomed it, even as his instinct insisted he run from it.
********
The ache to join the stranger in Pack song forced Elliot to abruptly switch back to human form. If he didn't, he'd betray his position with his big mouth. Crouching very low, knowing the risk, he breathed slowly, carefully, until his head cleared. Right now, he'd find the intruder, nothing else. The change surged back over him, and he slunk into the shadows where his black fur made him invisible.
No more hurrying, now he practically slithered, back-tracking and choosing his spot with great precision. The wait lasted no longer than a length of the moon, and his rival jogged down the trail, head swinging from side to side as if it gave him greater vision. Silver fur touched with red at the tips, long legs eating up the ground, tail almost tucked, and Elliot roared his anger in the instant that he jumped.
The urge to kill the interloper battered at Elliot's intellect, but the instant the stranger collapsed he stopped his teeth from tearing. Pinning him to the ground, Elliot breathed in the scent of the wolf who dared to hunt his lands.
A myriad of smells assaulted, bones jutted up against him, and shock nearly broke him back to human. Pulling his teeth off, he waited for a rushed scramble to freedom, but the stranger did nothing, not even a twitch. Only the warmth betrayed life.
Slowly, Elliot drew back and sat down, lolling out his tongue. He pricked his ears, content to wait. A feeling of… something he didn't want to look at too closely swept over him. He might even be willing to share his hunting grounds. Maybe.
The stranger got his paws underneath him but didn't bolt. He crawled until he lay directly under Elliot's nose. Instinct demanded Elliot lick him on the head. The taste of neglect stuck to his tongue, and he whined, upset that one of his own kind tasted of… bad things like hunger, sadness, and fear.
He eased to all four paws and wagged his tail in clear invitation. The moon shined bright still, no reason to waste it, and Elliot took a running start down the trail before stopping to make sure. The stranger, now up, dropped his head and blew out a harsh breath. Elliot sensed the hunger and pain, and fresh kill always helped. He stomped his front paws, giving him another chance, and let out a long low-pitched howl.
The stranger joined him, and Elliot grinned once before tearing wildly down the trail. He smelled deer, and his Pack hungered.
********
None of this made sense, but without the ache in his guts, he could almost think. For the first time, he ran with Pack, and the world smelled different, better.
********
The moon waned, and Elliot hated the moment when time forced his paws to start the trek for his clothes, his car, and his job. For the first time, his affliction seemed less, something not so bad. As if sharing it made it better.
The red one whined, bumping Elliot's shoulder, but the sunlight on the third day brought responsibilities, and Elliot went, whether he liked it or not. The affliction would rest now, and he would work. Giving him one last lick, Elliot ran, knowing that he'd be back on Friday, long before he must.
Before he changed, he stopped and listened, making sure that no one lurked, watching. Quiet, nothing moved, and he turned human, dressing quickly against the chill in the air. He stuffed his keys and his cell phone in his pocket and looked once down the trail, almost wishing.
********
Grief gripped him, and he wavered between howling and biting random things savagely. The car pulled away, taking Shadow, his Pack leader, with it, and he tore at the ground, hating the world.
********
Worry made sleep almost impossible, but oh so slowly, the days slid away. He didn't feel tired, just restless and edgy. Abandoning his desk again, he went to get a soda since he'd drained the coffee pot.
"Hard week, Elliot?" Olivia followed after him.
Scooping up his soda from the machine, Elliot turned to grin at her. "No worse than usual."
"You look like hell," Olivia said, brow furrowing. "You heard of a thing called sleep?"
He shrugged, past the days when he confided in her. "I'm taking a few lost hours. Cover for me?"
"Of course." Her eyes widened. "I owe you more than one."
Satisfied, he strolled back to his desk to finish the last of his paperwork, trying to look calm, but his insides clambered for the forest, the wind, and his red friend.
When the clock reached two, he went through the motions to get himself out the door, and he forced himself not to run. The red one could be gone, dead, hurt, any number of things, and that didn't even include the scenarios where he changed and left, never to return. Elliot desperately wanted to see, smell, even lick him again, sharing Pack.
Pack. It meant something, even if he didn't know what yet. Now that he'd had it, he needed it. It burned in him like nothing ever had, not his ex-wife, not his job. Pack. More than family, and he didn't understand it. Growling slightly under his breath, he threw the car into gear and left some rubber in the police parking lot.
For the first time, he didn't wait for traffic to thin out at the rest stop. He simply took off into the woods, not caring, and he stripped faster than a hooker. Without the moon to help, it took an extra second to call his affliction to the surface, and then it raced over him.
He ran, nose to the wind, holding his howl in tight until miles fell away. The sun wobbled on the horizon, and he let his heart sing, calling for his Pack.
*********
The howl jolted him from his burrow, and he whimpered as he ran towards his Pack. So tired, so alone, and he craved so much.
*********
Elliot skidded to a stop, horrified, and his instinct took over one second later. His Pack needed him, and he could only feed him, care for him. His human compassion demanded answers, but for once, his instinct told him to shut up and get busy.
Two rabbits helped get the red one stronger, and then Elliot convinced him to go swimming in the creek to get some of the dirt off. Shaking his fur, he counted ribs on his Packmate and decided to go for a deer. They needed food and sleep, and more of each. The red one rubbed up against him, and Elliot groomed him before finding a trail and calling him to hunt.
The red one panted, eyes bright now, and they ran together, bringing down an old buck. They gorged and then Elliot took his red one to a small cave where they could sleep it off. Collapsing down together, they entwined, and Elliot flipped his tail over his red one's face. Pack.
After the end of the second night, as the sun dipped toward the third, Elliot paced while his red one slept. His life would begin again soon, but leaving seemed impossible. A small huff made him look, and his red one ducked his head so they bumped together. Elliot held him in the wolf way and whined softly. They hunted and fed again before Elliot sought out the trail back to his humanity.
The red one trailed him closely, and they stopped as one. Elliot flattened his ears in irritation, not knowing what to do. Wolves communicated with sight, touch, small noises, but explaining his job presented a unique challenge.
Disgusted, unable to find a solution, he began the trek to his lockbox with his Pack right on his heels. When he pulled it free from its hiding spot, his red one whined piteously, and their eyes met. Elliot tried to tell him that he'd return, but even he knew a promise like that might be broken.
Furious now with himself, Elliot changed, and the red one whirled to run. Elliot raised his hand. "Please," he said, not knowing why. "We need each other."
Yipping, the red one vanished into the underbrush, and Elliot stared after him. "Damn." He dressed very slowly, watching but no yellow eyes appeared, and he gave up. Next weekend would have to be good enough, and he checked his phone for messages. Three, but nothing from Cragen so Elliot stuffed it away.
"I'll be back!" he yelled, and he walked down the trail towards the rest stop, hating that his father had taught him nothing about Pack. Not one damn word, just beatings. When he reached the tree line, he stopped again, wanting to scream in frustration. He hung his head, filled with anger and hate.
A furry head pushed its way under his hand, and he knelt instantly, relief making him giddy. "Come with me," Elliot said gruffly. "I'll help you, I promise."
The red one whined, ears flat and submissive, but he didn't change form. Elliot reached and put his arm around him, holding him tight.
"Please."
*********
Scared, so scared, he crept along behind his Pack leader, tail tucked tight, only flinching when his paws touched concrete. He jumped into the back seat, grateful for the old blanket thrown over him, and settled down to rest.
*********
Feeling like a huge moron, Elliot drove strictly within the limits of the law. If a patrolman pulled him over today, the red one might do something terrible. A soft whine, followed by another, brought home the reality that he should've thought this through.
"It's okay, Red," Elliot said, trying to believe it himself. If only Red didn't look like a wolf, and that made Elliot almost laugh at his own stupidity. It boiled down to two choices: go to his mother's house with the yard, or go to his tiny apartment. Either way, someone would report a wolf the instant Red showed his face, unless… Elliot took a deep breath. "I'll take you home, and then you have to change, okay?"
Red made a huffy noise, and Elliot tried to see him in the rearview mirror, but the blanket hid him. Elliot didn't know if his kind could get stuck in the affliction.
"Should I stop for cheeseburgers?" Elliot's own stomach rumbled at the thought, and the quick lick on his ear he took for agreement. "Stay under the blanket."
Red grumbled, and Elliot couldn't stop his grin. Yeah, it'd been stupid to bring him along, but it'd been the right thing to do. Pack came first, and he'd find a way to get Red to change. Maybe the lure of a milkshake and nothing but a straw would do it, and Elliot laughed, feeling wild and free in his human form for the first time in his life.
He found a drive-thru, ordered enough to feed two hungry wolves, and they ate while he drove slowly home. His newfound enthusiasm drained out of him the instant he parked the car in front of his apartment. Asking Red to trot inside ranked as the worst idea ever. As usual, people walked his street, even into the late hours.
"Well, got any ideas how we can get you inside without being seen?" Elliot asked, shoving some burger wrappers off the seat onto the floorboard. "And tell me you didn't eat the sack?"
An apologetic whine made Elliot roll his eyes, even if he agreed that the paper always smelled delicious. Sighing deeply, Elliot rubbed his face and resigned himself to being bitten.
"Okay, I'm going to carry you inside, covered by that blanket." He ignored the indignant yelp, getting out and shutting his door firmly. Going around to the backseat, he opened the door, and said, "Change, or I'm carrying you."
Stubborn yellow eyes glared, and he wrapped him up before dragging him out. Elliot kicked the car door shut, staggered once, and lurched up the stairs. People stared, but no one ran screaming about a wolf. Digging out his keys became an exercise in hilarity, but he cursed instead of laughing, almost losing his grip. Finally, the damn door flew open, and he stumbled inside, dropping to his knees. He slammed the door shut, the blanket ripped away, and Red ran right into a wall.
"You're inside, you idiot!" Elliot didn't even try to stop him from dashing through the tiny apartment, knocking over everything in his path. First, Elliot locked the door and shut the one blind, and then, reluctantly, he stripped and forced his affliction to change him.
Red stopped instantly, dragging his belly as he crawled to him. Elliot licked him on the top of the head and then nipped him on the shoulder. The yelp satisfied him, and he almost changed back, afraid that someone would come to the door. He listened, but no one came close, and he let Red lick him on the chops.
Together, they got a long drink of water and then piled on the bed to sleep off the cheeseburgers. Elliot made sure he lay nearest the door, giving Red one last lick before he dozed.
********
The fear of being trapped faded to nothing, warm and dry with the smell of his Pack leader everywhere. He stretched, curled up, and felt something tight inside him sigh with relief.
********
Waking up human came as no surprise. Without a full moon, Elliot changed back unless he kept the wolf in him close. His first thought made him reach for Red, and his second drove the air from his lungs. "Damn," he breathed, but he tightened his arms, just in case.
Red shifted, mumbled, and then cracked open his eyes. Elliot held his breath for his part, not knowing what to expect, but he didn't loosen his grip.
"Damn," Red whispered, voice sounding rusty. He shut his eyes and ducked his head onto Elliot's chest.
Elliot cautiously began to breathe again, trying to find some words. He'd never in his life woken up in bed with another man, or wolf.
"You can always shove me out of the car somewhere upstate," Red growled. "Isn't that what people do with unwanted mutts?"
Shock at the cruel words drove Elliot to find some of his own. "You're Pack. Mine. My Pack." And he might've tightened his grip, not caring that their cocks nestled together and they both needed to brush their teeth.
Red's very blue eyes opened again. He tilted his head slightly and furrowed his brow. "Not a good idea, but I ain't gonna argue about it."
They shifted, rubbing, Elliot choked back a gasp, and his affliction demanded satisfaction. It throbbed through him, and shame would've sent him running, but Red smiled and thrust back at him.
"I need Pack," Red whispered. "Nothing else left."
Sorrow helped Elliot slow his desire. "I'll help." He would, somehow.
After a moment, Red nodded. "I know you'll try, Shadow." He shrugged. "Help me wash the wolf off?"
Reluctantly, Elliot moved his hands to safer spots and started for the edge of the bed. He'd think about his Pack name later, much later. "We do sorta reek."
"In a good way." Red grinned, wild and free. Elliot stared, surprised at the answering howl that struggled to get out of his throat.
"My dad." Elliot gulped, needing to explain how he hated his wolf. "He beat me because of this… affliction." The rest of the words dried up in his throat.
Red stared for a second. "Where is he? I'll rip his throat out." He clearly meant that.
"Dead," Elliot said, not sorry for it. He tilted his head, seeing how much Red embraced his wolf. "My wolf…"
"Is the best thing to ever come my way," Red said instantly. "Don't pick on Shadow."
Elliot blinked and something terrible fell from him. The truth peeked out from his shared soul. "Pack is good." Three simple words that he'd live by now.
"Damn good." Red caught Elliot around the waist, and they went to the shower together. Elliot got the water going, found some towels, and Red stared at himself in the mirror. "I'm sorta furry." He traced his thick sideburns and scruff. "You're like a yuppie wolf."
Elliot crossed his arms and glared. "I'm biting you for that. I'm a damn cop!"
Red threw back his head, exposing his throat and laughed. "Me too." And then he beat Elliot to the water, hogging the good spot in the shower. Elliot grumbled but allowed it. He had less filth on him, and this way he could make sure every part of Red got clean.
Then it hit him. Elliot ran his hand up to grip him firmly by the neck. "What's your name?"
"Doesn't fucking matter," Red mumbled, but he kept his face away until Elliot turned him. Elliot scritched his fingers into Red's scalp and waited. Red sighed loudly. "Eddie Drake, U.S. Marshal."
"Elliot Stabler, detective at the One-Six, Manhattan SVU." Elliot poured out a dollop of shampoo to cover the awkwardness and started on Red's too-long hair.
"I'm in New York?" Red sounded more amused than worried, and he groaned, leaning full-body into Elliot. "Don't you have like fifteen other questions?"
"Yeah," Elliot said softly, giving in to the urge to nibble him on the neck. "But only one question matters." His hands worked the soap deep but his mouth needed skin, and finding out why Red had stayed a wolf so long could wait. He liked the groaning, and he pressed even closer, making Red brace his hands on the tiles. "You taste like mine."
"You gotta work today?" Red asked, giving a tiny wiggle that made Elliot weak in the knees.
Elliot stopped moving, horrified at himself, but it faded fast because nothing mattered but this moment.
Red laughed. "Hard to think of anything but Pack. You. Right now."
"Shit, I gotta get a grip." Elliot shoved Red's soapy head under the water.
"Tighter is good." Red grunted, water and soap sliding down to the drain, and Elliot heard his wolf's demand for more. More and right now. He growled, heard Red's answer, and he pumped his hips so his cock slipped back and forth between Red's thighs.
Quick and slick, Red turned and their hands groped, finding each other's cocks. Red let out a long whine, and Elliot went at him with teeth, marking him. A red haze dropped over him, and he didn't surface until he heard Red's yelp.
"The tile is cold!"
Laughing, Elliot moved back so they could both share the water again. He trembled a little, sated, and all he wanted was a nap, after some food. Red leaned against him heavily.
"I need sleep, Shadow," Red mumbled. "Food too."
"You do." Elliot skimmed his hands down Red's scrawny body, getting rid of the last of the soap. "Come on."
They bumbled out together, toweling each other's back, and they crashed into the bed hard. Red shivered, crawling under the blankets, and Elliot joined him. The world spun away until Elliot's phone rang. Nearly falling to his knees, he finally managed to locate it in his discarded jeans.
"Stabler." His mind raced with reasons and excuses.
"Are you working today, Elliot?" Cragen drawled.
Lying never came easy, so Elliot eased into the truth. "Ran into a situation with a U.S. Marshal last night. He crashed at my place. I was gonna call." Even he knew it sounded lame.
"Everyone okay?" Now Cragen sounded concerned.
"Yeah." Elliot scrambled for something else to say. "Gimme an hour?"
"Sure." Cragen clicked off, and Elliot sat down hard on the edge of the bed. He turned, knowing blue eyes would be staring at him.
"You'll stay here while I work?" Elliot asked, not sure what he'd do if Red didn't agree.
Red looked away and then back. "Everything I touch goes to shit. Everyone I care for leaves me, or dies. Lost my team, restraining order took my kid away, friends went to jail. It all just went to hell."
Elliot sensed the truth of all that and didn't know how to answer. He heard the despair in Red's voice and knew now why he'd remained a wolf for so long. Much damn easier than facing life as a human. Elliot scrubbed a hand through his hair and knew he couldn't walk away from his Pack, not for any reason.
"Only a week until we can hunt again, Red." And he didn't miss the gleam in Red's eyes at that. Red wiggled over to him and tucked onto Elliot's back. Elliot found places on Red to hold tight. "I could get you some clothes."
"I could crash in the lounge?" Red sounded unsure, and Elliot kissed him roughly. Embarrassed to have done that, Elliot rubbed his face with his hands. Red laughed in a rude way and bit him hard enough to make Elliot growl. They tussled, Elliot ended up on top, and Red grinned with no fear in his eyes.
A noisy grumble from Red's stomach interrupted Elliot from chewing on him. "Clothes. Food. Work."
"Good enough." Red struggled up and kissed him back. "But you can't call me 'Red' at work, and I won't slip and call you 'Shadow.'"
"Oh." Elliot blushed. "Sorry."
"S'okay." Red, who would never be 'Eddie' in Elliot's Pack, smiled with all his teeth, sliding his hands through his hair. "Should I shave?"
"Up to you, furball." Elliot shifted into work mode, moving automatically around his apartment. "I'll find us clothes. You lost your badge?"
Red said nothing, just looking away, and Elliot gave him that silence. Going to work with him could be a bad idea, but leaving him here to chew on furniture would be a disaster. Elliot grumbled about skinny wolves, digging in the back of the closet, while Red ate everything in the fridge, including the ketchup.
They'd be lucky to get there at all at the rate they moved, but eventually everything got done. Red shaved his scruff but left the sideburns, and Elliot drank some instant coffee. This time, Red sat in the front seat, but his fingers never stopped moving, and Elliot stayed calm for the both of them.
More than an hour later, they finally wandered into the bullpen with Red's visitor badge clipped to his jacket. Cragen should've been grateful they'd showed up at all instead of rolling his eyes. Red bumped shoulders with Elliot and whispered, "Is he a dick?"
Elliot shrugged, taking a wait and see attitude, and hung up his coat, but Red kept the leather one he'd swiped from Elliot's closet. Everyone seemed to want to stare, and Elliot swallowed a possessive growl. Cragen met them at Elliot's desk with that inquisitive look on his face.
Red brushed his hand through his hair and gave a cocky smile. "Eddie Drake, U.S. Marshal. I have to thank your detective here for getting me out of a tight spot last night. My fault he's late."
Cragen's expression went from suspicious to relaxed in a blink. "I expect nothing less from him. How can we help you today?"
"I need to make a call." Red shrugged. "But no rush. Elliot said I could catch up on my sleep here."
"Get him settled in the crib," Cragen said. Elliot nodded and headed that way, knowing that Red would be right behind.
After one look around, Red kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket. "Pretty nice digs. Food?"
"I'll bring up lunch." Elliot fidgeted with his keys, nudging Red to the best cot and wanting to tuck him under the blankets. "You'll be okay?"
"Sure. Later, I'll check in with the Marshals. Find out how much shit I'm in." Red stretched and yawned. Elliot sat gingerly on the cot next to Red's hip and wondered what secrets would come out in the next few days. Red patted him on the leg. "Still not sure how the hell I ended up in New York, but…"
"We'll fix it." Elliot eyed the door, listened, and then nuzzled him. "Rest. You smell tired."
Shutting his eyes, Red nodded, and Elliot watched him for a moment before going to work. They'd figure it out. They'd stay together. Pack meant everything to both of them.
And Elliot smiled on his way down the stairs. He'd never howl alone again.
*********
Watching him leave, Eddie wiggled to get comfortable and reminded himself not to change into his wolf. He never had to run again. Pack stuck together, and Shadow wouldn't let him down like the others. Pack. Finally.
*********
The end
Author's note: no actual deer were eaten during the course of this story. Or so Eddie promised me.
The Wolf in Us by cmk418
Toby’s got these moods. After three ex-wives, you’d think I’d be used to the PMSing but I never expected it from Toby.
(By the way, he hates when I refer to them like that, he prefers to think of it as going into Wolfman mode.)
We’ll be rolling along, everything going smoothly, when -bam!- he goes into a rage for the least little thing. Last time, it was about a copy of Hustler I had lying around. He ripped it in half and got up in my face about why I would need such a thing.
I should have suggested that he walk around the pod naked all the time, but I still would need a little variety.
You see, there’s a bit of the wolf in me, too.
Finding Pack by blackchaps
Title: Finding Pack
Author: blackchaps
Pairing/Fandom: Elliot/Eddie - SVU/Wanted - it helps to have seen the last episode of Wanted, and I picked up Elliot right as he was ending his Dani Beck stage. Sorry if you're confused now!
Warnings: biting, marking, misuse of tenses, crackfic?
Beta: Thanks Zap!!
Disclaimer: Neither show belongs to me, and this was written for extreme fun, not profit.
Summary: Elliot is afflicted, but he's learned to cope, and then he finds out what he's been missing.
*********
Wrapping his hands around the railing, Elliot squeezed as hard as possible, shoving his fury down. Water lapped gently against the pier, sirens wailed across the river, and the traffic thumped its way across the bridge, but none of it roared as loud as the strum of his blood.
The affliction pounded through him, and he measured his breaths, only releasing the metal when the nearby joints groaned from the stress.
"Elliot?"
He forced himself to turn slowly and keep his hands loose. "Dani's gone."
"Most cops can't handle SVU. You know that," Cragen said slowly.
The anger pulsed, right beneath the surface. "You keeping tabs on me? Worried I'll get drunk and hurt someone?"
Cragen eased his hands into his pockets, showing no threat. "Met a buddy here. I saw you both leave, and yes, I worry."
Unable to believe, Elliot let out a small growl. "Not much of a buddy if you watch him drink."
"He owns the place." Cragen shrugged and turned to face away from the river. "Take the weekend. Get your head on straight."
Elliot hated those familiar words, but this time his affliction demanded his time anyway. He nodded with just the right amount of grimace. "I'll be in Tuesday," he said, pushing the limit.
"Good." Cragen stilled in obvious surprise and then left him there with only a curt wave as a goodbye.
Very softly, Elliot indulged in a snarl, and his blood rushed through his veins that much faster. Fear pushed him to trot for his car, and he wasted no time getting out on the interstate. His affliction had trapped him in Central Park often enough, but this time he intended to get up to Harriman State Park. It connected to other parks as well, and as long as he watched out for West Point, he'd be fine.
Well, not fine, but plenty of room to stretch his legs. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and drove faster. His usual roadside stop greeted him and he parked his car in what he considered his spot. His buddy in the Highway Patrol kept an eye on the car for him. Of course, his buddy thought he cheated on his wife, but that couldn't be blamed on Elliot.
Waiting until traffic thinned out made Elliot's skin burn, but he sat still until the call roared and then he walked, walked, past the restrooms and down the small hill to the tree-line No one yelled after him, and he took one deep breath before he ran.
And ran.
Crouching down beside a boulder that he'd marked as his own, he removed his clothes, putting everything in a lockbox that he returned to its hiding place. Finished, he raised his face to the moon and let the affliction take him.
*********
Running took over his life. Nothing left but that, and he couldn't make himself care about anyone or anything.
*********
The wind shifted, ruffling the fur on Elliot's neck, and he turned into it. The earth felt good under his paws, and the rabbit dinner rumbled happily in his stomach. Life out here never let him down, never hurt him.
His nose twitched, and he stilled in shock. His predator brain and his human compassion warred for an instant, and then he broke into a mile-eating lope with a snarl dancing on his lips. No one hunted these grounds but him, and he intended to keep it that way.
The affliction ruled few people, and in all his years, he'd only met one other. His father, who drank to wash it away and tried to beat it out of Elliot's body. The booze hadn't always worked, and those nights had been hellish. The beatings had almost been easier to bear, and they hadn't succeeded in curing him. His curse poured down into him with the moon whether he invited it or not. Over the years, he'd learned control and to keep his human wits about him, or he wouldn't have survived. His father, the devil owned his soul, died an early death, refusing to bend to the wolf that raged inside him.
Elliot hated his wolf too, but that didn't mean he'd drink himself to death over it. As long as he managed his affliction, kept it under tight control, it didn't hurt anyone, except a few rabbits and once a deer. Okay, twice on the deer. He licked his chops in remembrance and stopped to check his direction and trail.
The scent filled his nose, but he didn't howl in anger. He trotted that much faster, keeping a sharp eye out for an ambush and refusing to speculate on the truth until he knew exactly what, or who, hunted in his territory.
*********
He threw back his head and howled, letting his anger and pain rip into the wind. Death stalked him tonight, and he welcomed it, even as his instinct insisted he run from it.
********
The ache to join the stranger in Pack song forced Elliot to abruptly switch back to human form. If he didn't, he'd betray his position with his big mouth. Crouching very low, knowing the risk, he breathed slowly, carefully, until his head cleared. Right now, he'd find the intruder, nothing else. The change surged back over him, and he slunk into the shadows where his black fur made him invisible.
No more hurrying, now he practically slithered, back-tracking and choosing his spot with great precision. The wait lasted no longer than a length of the moon, and his rival jogged down the trail, head swinging from side to side as if it gave him greater vision. Silver fur touched with red at the tips, long legs eating up the ground, tail almost tucked, and Elliot roared his anger in the instant that he jumped.
The urge to kill the interloper battered at Elliot's intellect, but the instant the stranger collapsed he stopped his teeth from tearing. Pinning him to the ground, Elliot breathed in the scent of the wolf who dared to hunt his lands.
A myriad of smells assaulted, bones jutted up against him, and shock nearly broke him back to human. Pulling his teeth off, he waited for a rushed scramble to freedom, but the stranger did nothing, not even a twitch. Only the warmth betrayed life.
Slowly, Elliot drew back and sat down, lolling out his tongue. He pricked his ears, content to wait. A feeling of… something he didn't want to look at too closely swept over him. He might even be willing to share his hunting grounds. Maybe.
The stranger got his paws underneath him but didn't bolt. He crawled until he lay directly under Elliot's nose. Instinct demanded Elliot lick him on the head. The taste of neglect stuck to his tongue, and he whined, upset that one of his own kind tasted of… bad things like hunger, sadness, and fear.
He eased to all four paws and wagged his tail in clear invitation. The moon shined bright still, no reason to waste it, and Elliot took a running start down the trail before stopping to make sure. The stranger, now up, dropped his head and blew out a harsh breath. Elliot sensed the hunger and pain, and fresh kill always helped. He stomped his front paws, giving him another chance, and let out a long low-pitched howl.
The stranger joined him, and Elliot grinned once before tearing wildly down the trail. He smelled deer, and his Pack hungered.
********
None of this made sense, but without the ache in his guts, he could almost think. For the first time, he ran with Pack, and the world smelled different, better.
********
The moon waned, and Elliot hated the moment when time forced his paws to start the trek for his clothes, his car, and his job. For the first time, his affliction seemed less, something not so bad. As if sharing it made it better.
The red one whined, bumping Elliot's shoulder, but the sunlight on the third day brought responsibilities, and Elliot went, whether he liked it or not. The affliction would rest now, and he would work. Giving him one last lick, Elliot ran, knowing that he'd be back on Friday, long before he must.
Before he changed, he stopped and listened, making sure that no one lurked, watching. Quiet, nothing moved, and he turned human, dressing quickly against the chill in the air. He stuffed his keys and his cell phone in his pocket and looked once down the trail, almost wishing.
********
Grief gripped him, and he wavered between howling and biting random things savagely. The car pulled away, taking Shadow, his Pack leader, with it, and he tore at the ground, hating the world.
********
Worry made sleep almost impossible, but oh so slowly, the days slid away. He didn't feel tired, just restless and edgy. Abandoning his desk again, he went to get a soda since he'd drained the coffee pot.
"Hard week, Elliot?" Olivia followed after him.
Scooping up his soda from the machine, Elliot turned to grin at her. "No worse than usual."
"You look like hell," Olivia said, brow furrowing. "You heard of a thing called sleep?"
He shrugged, past the days when he confided in her. "I'm taking a few lost hours. Cover for me?"
"Of course." Her eyes widened. "I owe you more than one."
Satisfied, he strolled back to his desk to finish the last of his paperwork, trying to look calm, but his insides clambered for the forest, the wind, and his red friend.
When the clock reached two, he went through the motions to get himself out the door, and he forced himself not to run. The red one could be gone, dead, hurt, any number of things, and that didn't even include the scenarios where he changed and left, never to return. Elliot desperately wanted to see, smell, even lick him again, sharing Pack.
Pack. It meant something, even if he didn't know what yet. Now that he'd had it, he needed it. It burned in him like nothing ever had, not his ex-wife, not his job. Pack. More than family, and he didn't understand it. Growling slightly under his breath, he threw the car into gear and left some rubber in the police parking lot.
For the first time, he didn't wait for traffic to thin out at the rest stop. He simply took off into the woods, not caring, and he stripped faster than a hooker. Without the moon to help, it took an extra second to call his affliction to the surface, and then it raced over him.
He ran, nose to the wind, holding his howl in tight until miles fell away. The sun wobbled on the horizon, and he let his heart sing, calling for his Pack.
*********
The howl jolted him from his burrow, and he whimpered as he ran towards his Pack. So tired, so alone, and he craved so much.
*********
Elliot skidded to a stop, horrified, and his instinct took over one second later. His Pack needed him, and he could only feed him, care for him. His human compassion demanded answers, but for once, his instinct told him to shut up and get busy.
Two rabbits helped get the red one stronger, and then Elliot convinced him to go swimming in the creek to get some of the dirt off. Shaking his fur, he counted ribs on his Packmate and decided to go for a deer. They needed food and sleep, and more of each. The red one rubbed up against him, and Elliot groomed him before finding a trail and calling him to hunt.
The red one panted, eyes bright now, and they ran together, bringing down an old buck. They gorged and then Elliot took his red one to a small cave where they could sleep it off. Collapsing down together, they entwined, and Elliot flipped his tail over his red one's face. Pack.
After the end of the second night, as the sun dipped toward the third, Elliot paced while his red one slept. His life would begin again soon, but leaving seemed impossible. A small huff made him look, and his red one ducked his head so they bumped together. Elliot held him in the wolf way and whined softly. They hunted and fed again before Elliot sought out the trail back to his humanity.
The red one trailed him closely, and they stopped as one. Elliot flattened his ears in irritation, not knowing what to do. Wolves communicated with sight, touch, small noises, but explaining his job presented a unique challenge.
Disgusted, unable to find a solution, he began the trek to his lockbox with his Pack right on his heels. When he pulled it free from its hiding spot, his red one whined piteously, and their eyes met. Elliot tried to tell him that he'd return, but even he knew a promise like that might be broken.
Furious now with himself, Elliot changed, and the red one whirled to run. Elliot raised his hand. "Please," he said, not knowing why. "We need each other."
Yipping, the red one vanished into the underbrush, and Elliot stared after him. "Damn." He dressed very slowly, watching but no yellow eyes appeared, and he gave up. Next weekend would have to be good enough, and he checked his phone for messages. Three, but nothing from Cragen so Elliot stuffed it away.
"I'll be back!" he yelled, and he walked down the trail towards the rest stop, hating that his father had taught him nothing about Pack. Not one damn word, just beatings. When he reached the tree line, he stopped again, wanting to scream in frustration. He hung his head, filled with anger and hate.
A furry head pushed its way under his hand, and he knelt instantly, relief making him giddy. "Come with me," Elliot said gruffly. "I'll help you, I promise."
The red one whined, ears flat and submissive, but he didn't change form. Elliot reached and put his arm around him, holding him tight.
"Please."
*********
Scared, so scared, he crept along behind his Pack leader, tail tucked tight, only flinching when his paws touched concrete. He jumped into the back seat, grateful for the old blanket thrown over him, and settled down to rest.
*********
Feeling like a huge moron, Elliot drove strictly within the limits of the law. If a patrolman pulled him over today, the red one might do something terrible. A soft whine, followed by another, brought home the reality that he should've thought this through.
"It's okay, Red," Elliot said, trying to believe it himself. If only Red didn't look like a wolf, and that made Elliot almost laugh at his own stupidity. It boiled down to two choices: go to his mother's house with the yard, or go to his tiny apartment. Either way, someone would report a wolf the instant Red showed his face, unless… Elliot took a deep breath. "I'll take you home, and then you have to change, okay?"
Red made a huffy noise, and Elliot tried to see him in the rearview mirror, but the blanket hid him. Elliot didn't know if his kind could get stuck in the affliction.
"Should I stop for cheeseburgers?" Elliot's own stomach rumbled at the thought, and the quick lick on his ear he took for agreement. "Stay under the blanket."
Red grumbled, and Elliot couldn't stop his grin. Yeah, it'd been stupid to bring him along, but it'd been the right thing to do. Pack came first, and he'd find a way to get Red to change. Maybe the lure of a milkshake and nothing but a straw would do it, and Elliot laughed, feeling wild and free in his human form for the first time in his life.
He found a drive-thru, ordered enough to feed two hungry wolves, and they ate while he drove slowly home. His newfound enthusiasm drained out of him the instant he parked the car in front of his apartment. Asking Red to trot inside ranked as the worst idea ever. As usual, people walked his street, even into the late hours.
"Well, got any ideas how we can get you inside without being seen?" Elliot asked, shoving some burger wrappers off the seat onto the floorboard. "And tell me you didn't eat the sack?"
An apologetic whine made Elliot roll his eyes, even if he agreed that the paper always smelled delicious. Sighing deeply, Elliot rubbed his face and resigned himself to being bitten.
"Okay, I'm going to carry you inside, covered by that blanket." He ignored the indignant yelp, getting out and shutting his door firmly. Going around to the backseat, he opened the door, and said, "Change, or I'm carrying you."
Stubborn yellow eyes glared, and he wrapped him up before dragging him out. Elliot kicked the car door shut, staggered once, and lurched up the stairs. People stared, but no one ran screaming about a wolf. Digging out his keys became an exercise in hilarity, but he cursed instead of laughing, almost losing his grip. Finally, the damn door flew open, and he stumbled inside, dropping to his knees. He slammed the door shut, the blanket ripped away, and Red ran right into a wall.
"You're inside, you idiot!" Elliot didn't even try to stop him from dashing through the tiny apartment, knocking over everything in his path. First, Elliot locked the door and shut the one blind, and then, reluctantly, he stripped and forced his affliction to change him.
Red stopped instantly, dragging his belly as he crawled to him. Elliot licked him on the top of the head and then nipped him on the shoulder. The yelp satisfied him, and he almost changed back, afraid that someone would come to the door. He listened, but no one came close, and he let Red lick him on the chops.
Together, they got a long drink of water and then piled on the bed to sleep off the cheeseburgers. Elliot made sure he lay nearest the door, giving Red one last lick before he dozed.
********
The fear of being trapped faded to nothing, warm and dry with the smell of his Pack leader everywhere. He stretched, curled up, and felt something tight inside him sigh with relief.
********
Waking up human came as no surprise. Without a full moon, Elliot changed back unless he kept the wolf in him close. His first thought made him reach for Red, and his second drove the air from his lungs. "Damn," he breathed, but he tightened his arms, just in case.
Red shifted, mumbled, and then cracked open his eyes. Elliot held his breath for his part, not knowing what to expect, but he didn't loosen his grip.
"Damn," Red whispered, voice sounding rusty. He shut his eyes and ducked his head onto Elliot's chest.
Elliot cautiously began to breathe again, trying to find some words. He'd never in his life woken up in bed with another man, or wolf.
"You can always shove me out of the car somewhere upstate," Red growled. "Isn't that what people do with unwanted mutts?"
Shock at the cruel words drove Elliot to find some of his own. "You're Pack. Mine. My Pack." And he might've tightened his grip, not caring that their cocks nestled together and they both needed to brush their teeth.
Red's very blue eyes opened again. He tilted his head slightly and furrowed his brow. "Not a good idea, but I ain't gonna argue about it."
They shifted, rubbing, Elliot choked back a gasp, and his affliction demanded satisfaction. It throbbed through him, and shame would've sent him running, but Red smiled and thrust back at him.
"I need Pack," Red whispered. "Nothing else left."
Sorrow helped Elliot slow his desire. "I'll help." He would, somehow.
After a moment, Red nodded. "I know you'll try, Shadow." He shrugged. "Help me wash the wolf off?"
Reluctantly, Elliot moved his hands to safer spots and started for the edge of the bed. He'd think about his Pack name later, much later. "We do sorta reek."
"In a good way." Red grinned, wild and free. Elliot stared, surprised at the answering howl that struggled to get out of his throat.
"My dad." Elliot gulped, needing to explain how he hated his wolf. "He beat me because of this… affliction." The rest of the words dried up in his throat.
Red stared for a second. "Where is he? I'll rip his throat out." He clearly meant that.
"Dead," Elliot said, not sorry for it. He tilted his head, seeing how much Red embraced his wolf. "My wolf…"
"Is the best thing to ever come my way," Red said instantly. "Don't pick on Shadow."
Elliot blinked and something terrible fell from him. The truth peeked out from his shared soul. "Pack is good." Three simple words that he'd live by now.
"Damn good." Red caught Elliot around the waist, and they went to the shower together. Elliot got the water going, found some towels, and Red stared at himself in the mirror. "I'm sorta furry." He traced his thick sideburns and scruff. "You're like a yuppie wolf."
Elliot crossed his arms and glared. "I'm biting you for that. I'm a damn cop!"
Red threw back his head, exposing his throat and laughed. "Me too." And then he beat Elliot to the water, hogging the good spot in the shower. Elliot grumbled but allowed it. He had less filth on him, and this way he could make sure every part of Red got clean.
Then it hit him. Elliot ran his hand up to grip him firmly by the neck. "What's your name?"
"Doesn't fucking matter," Red mumbled, but he kept his face away until Elliot turned him. Elliot scritched his fingers into Red's scalp and waited. Red sighed loudly. "Eddie Drake, U.S. Marshal."
"Elliot Stabler, detective at the One-Six, Manhattan SVU." Elliot poured out a dollop of shampoo to cover the awkwardness and started on Red's too-long hair.
"I'm in New York?" Red sounded more amused than worried, and he groaned, leaning full-body into Elliot. "Don't you have like fifteen other questions?"
"Yeah," Elliot said softly, giving in to the urge to nibble him on the neck. "But only one question matters." His hands worked the soap deep but his mouth needed skin, and finding out why Red had stayed a wolf so long could wait. He liked the groaning, and he pressed even closer, making Red brace his hands on the tiles. "You taste like mine."
"You gotta work today?" Red asked, giving a tiny wiggle that made Elliot weak in the knees.
Elliot stopped moving, horrified at himself, but it faded fast because nothing mattered but this moment.
Red laughed. "Hard to think of anything but Pack. You. Right now."
"Shit, I gotta get a grip." Elliot shoved Red's soapy head under the water.
"Tighter is good." Red grunted, water and soap sliding down to the drain, and Elliot heard his wolf's demand for more. More and right now. He growled, heard Red's answer, and he pumped his hips so his cock slipped back and forth between Red's thighs.
Quick and slick, Red turned and their hands groped, finding each other's cocks. Red let out a long whine, and Elliot went at him with teeth, marking him. A red haze dropped over him, and he didn't surface until he heard Red's yelp.
"The tile is cold!"
Laughing, Elliot moved back so they could both share the water again. He trembled a little, sated, and all he wanted was a nap, after some food. Red leaned against him heavily.
"I need sleep, Shadow," Red mumbled. "Food too."
"You do." Elliot skimmed his hands down Red's scrawny body, getting rid of the last of the soap. "Come on."
They bumbled out together, toweling each other's back, and they crashed into the bed hard. Red shivered, crawling under the blankets, and Elliot joined him. The world spun away until Elliot's phone rang. Nearly falling to his knees, he finally managed to locate it in his discarded jeans.
"Stabler." His mind raced with reasons and excuses.
"Are you working today, Elliot?" Cragen drawled.
Lying never came easy, so Elliot eased into the truth. "Ran into a situation with a U.S. Marshal last night. He crashed at my place. I was gonna call." Even he knew it sounded lame.
"Everyone okay?" Now Cragen sounded concerned.
"Yeah." Elliot scrambled for something else to say. "Gimme an hour?"
"Sure." Cragen clicked off, and Elliot sat down hard on the edge of the bed. He turned, knowing blue eyes would be staring at him.
"You'll stay here while I work?" Elliot asked, not sure what he'd do if Red didn't agree.
Red looked away and then back. "Everything I touch goes to shit. Everyone I care for leaves me, or dies. Lost my team, restraining order took my kid away, friends went to jail. It all just went to hell."
Elliot sensed the truth of all that and didn't know how to answer. He heard the despair in Red's voice and knew now why he'd remained a wolf for so long. Much damn easier than facing life as a human. Elliot scrubbed a hand through his hair and knew he couldn't walk away from his Pack, not for any reason.
"Only a week until we can hunt again, Red." And he didn't miss the gleam in Red's eyes at that. Red wiggled over to him and tucked onto Elliot's back. Elliot found places on Red to hold tight. "I could get you some clothes."
"I could crash in the lounge?" Red sounded unsure, and Elliot kissed him roughly. Embarrassed to have done that, Elliot rubbed his face with his hands. Red laughed in a rude way and bit him hard enough to make Elliot growl. They tussled, Elliot ended up on top, and Red grinned with no fear in his eyes.
A noisy grumble from Red's stomach interrupted Elliot from chewing on him. "Clothes. Food. Work."
"Good enough." Red struggled up and kissed him back. "But you can't call me 'Red' at work, and I won't slip and call you 'Shadow.'"
"Oh." Elliot blushed. "Sorry."
"S'okay." Red, who would never be 'Eddie' in Elliot's Pack, smiled with all his teeth, sliding his hands through his hair. "Should I shave?"
"Up to you, furball." Elliot shifted into work mode, moving automatically around his apartment. "I'll find us clothes. You lost your badge?"
Red said nothing, just looking away, and Elliot gave him that silence. Going to work with him could be a bad idea, but leaving him here to chew on furniture would be a disaster. Elliot grumbled about skinny wolves, digging in the back of the closet, while Red ate everything in the fridge, including the ketchup.
They'd be lucky to get there at all at the rate they moved, but eventually everything got done. Red shaved his scruff but left the sideburns, and Elliot drank some instant coffee. This time, Red sat in the front seat, but his fingers never stopped moving, and Elliot stayed calm for the both of them.
More than an hour later, they finally wandered into the bullpen with Red's visitor badge clipped to his jacket. Cragen should've been grateful they'd showed up at all instead of rolling his eyes. Red bumped shoulders with Elliot and whispered, "Is he a dick?"
Elliot shrugged, taking a wait and see attitude, and hung up his coat, but Red kept the leather one he'd swiped from Elliot's closet. Everyone seemed to want to stare, and Elliot swallowed a possessive growl. Cragen met them at Elliot's desk with that inquisitive look on his face.
Red brushed his hand through his hair and gave a cocky smile. "Eddie Drake, U.S. Marshal. I have to thank your detective here for getting me out of a tight spot last night. My fault he's late."
Cragen's expression went from suspicious to relaxed in a blink. "I expect nothing less from him. How can we help you today?"
"I need to make a call." Red shrugged. "But no rush. Elliot said I could catch up on my sleep here."
"Get him settled in the crib," Cragen said. Elliot nodded and headed that way, knowing that Red would be right behind.
After one look around, Red kicked off his shoes and tossed his jacket. "Pretty nice digs. Food?"
"I'll bring up lunch." Elliot fidgeted with his keys, nudging Red to the best cot and wanting to tuck him under the blankets. "You'll be okay?"
"Sure. Later, I'll check in with the Marshals. Find out how much shit I'm in." Red stretched and yawned. Elliot sat gingerly on the cot next to Red's hip and wondered what secrets would come out in the next few days. Red patted him on the leg. "Still not sure how the hell I ended up in New York, but…"
"We'll fix it." Elliot eyed the door, listened, and then nuzzled him. "Rest. You smell tired."
Shutting his eyes, Red nodded, and Elliot watched him for a moment before going to work. They'd figure it out. They'd stay together. Pack meant everything to both of them.
And Elliot smiled on his way down the stairs. He'd never howl alone again.
*********
Watching him leave, Eddie wiggled to get comfortable and reminded himself not to change into his wolf. He never had to run again. Pack stuck together, and Shadow wouldn't let him down like the others. Pack. Finally.
*********
The end
Author's note: no actual deer were eaten during the course of this story. Or so Eddie promised me.