IBARW: Random notes that turned into a post on discomfort
I'm too tired to actually put together a coherent post right now, so, assorted random thoughts.
(Insert standard disclaimer on not speaking for all POC, not being shining star of anti-racism, speaking from personal experience, being privileged in other ways, being US-centric, etc.)
PSA: If you're trying to be anti-racist, random anti-Semitism doesn't help!
se_parsons asks what would the un-racist society of the future look like?
My extremely facetious answer is: like my public library.
No, really.
No, really, I'm not just saying that because they let me borrow books.
I walked around there yesterday and noticed that almost everyone there was a person of color, and several of the white people I saw spoke other languages. POC were the majority, for once. There was a racial divide among the librarians; some were white, but most looked like they were East Asian. Almost all were women.
My ideal world wouldn't look like the Home Depot commercial I just saw, in which there was a black guy, an Asian guy, and a whole bunch of white guys. Yay token minorities.
Of course, I bet that my library looks the way it does because of the race-class divide where I live, which puts a huge damper on that whole ideal world idea.
I've seen several people post on their decision not to write entries for Intl. Blog Against Racism Week, which is cool. Some have mentioned that they're trying to listen, particularly to POC, which I really, really appreciate. I'm not sure if anyone wants to listen and still partcipate at the same time, or show support (and if not, that's perfectly fine!), but I was trying to think of good ways to do so if anyone did want to. So here's a thrown-together list, with the disclaimer that it's not meant to make people feel guilty about posting or not posting.
That's my small, IBARW-, internet-specific list so far! YMMV, of course!
With regard to identifying unconscious prejudices, I've found a good guideline for me is to see if something makes me uncomfortable, particularly if it's in that specific, nidgy, can't-quite-get-rid-of-it way that makes me want to not think about it. Not wanting to think about something, as demonstrated by making excuses in my head on why it's ok to not think about said thing, usually means I should think about it, but that I don't. Case in point: some of the comments to this post mention Japanophilia, the " ninja against racism" icon, and how Rock Lee in Naruto is a stereotype.
My very first instinct was "Bah! You lie! I am not a Japanophile! My icon in no way can be construed as racist! Naruto is not racist!" Of course, my very first instinct to people saying that being Asian in America mattered because even if you didn't self identify as such, other people would identify you as such, was "Bah! You lie! Watch me defy stereotypes!" My first instinct to POC saying they feel discriminated against is, unsurprisingly, "Bah! You lie! The system that I am a part of is a fair system! You are oversensitive!"
This is because, like so many other people, I want to believe that I am judged solely based on my own merit, that race and gender and age and sexual orientation and looks play nothing into things. I want to be able to enjoy things without having to stop and wonder if said thing is offensive to people who aren't me. Often, I can do this because I am doing so from a position of privilege. Sometimes, I can't. Sometimes, I don't want to admit that I can't because it means some of my agency is being taken away, because it means no matter what I do or what I think, people will still be judging me detrimentally because of my race or gender. Admitting this, admitting that it is an institution, admitting that it's something I can't magically change by force of will, that's difficult. It makes me feel powerless and angry. Naturally, the whole "playing the race/gender card" thing doesn't make admitting there is racism easier either. It's also easy for me to fall into the privileged worldview and denigrate my own sex or race unconsciously, because at least that way, there isn't the feeling of powerlessness.
From a privileged standpoint, I don't want my privilege pointed out because again, it means I'm not being judged by merit. It means maybe I didn't deserve what I ended up getting, not because I wasn't good, but because other people could have been better, but weren't given something because of their sexual orientation or age or class or handicap. I don't want to have my fun taken away from me. It's easier for me to understand why people are uncomfortable with the thought of privilege being taken away or questioned, so I'm writing less here that I did for unprivileged people to acknowledge their lack of privilege.
So with that in mind, the things that make me uncomfortable, that make me want to stand up and yell, "Bah! You lie! Go away and let me enjoy my things in peace!" - those are the very things that I should be paying attention to. If it turns out that I've given it a lot of thought and eventually decided it isn't true, without using any of the arguments outlined in How to Suppress Discussions of Racism, then that's fine. It's not like that extra bit of thought hurt me. If, however, I find myself saying things like, "But it's just an icon!" or "It wasn't intentionally racist!" or "You just don't get it! It's just a joke!" then I need to think about it some more.
My guess is, if anyone wants to be anti-racist, they're going to end up feeling uncomfortable. This is not the happy comfort of thinking that your parents always told you to treat people how you'd like to be treated. As a lot of people are saying already, racism is an institution. It's self-perpetuating. Beverly Tatum likens racism to one of those moving walkway things at the airport. Actively racist people walk forward on the walkway and go even faster. Passively racist people stand still on the walkway; they think they're not contributing, but they're still moving anyway. Anti-racist people walk backwards at a rate faster than that of the walkway, meaning they are actually going in the opposite direction. Anything less than that is racist. Walking takes effort. Walking at a rate that gets you going in the opposite direction is a lot of effort. And the walkway is always there, always moving people along.
By this definition, blogging against racism shouldn't just be a brief acknowledgement of what you've done. That's just walking in the other way a little, then stopping and letting the walkway move you forward again. It's not a look at your own stance on racism. It's an action that should be ongoing and continual. Stances matter, but in the long run, given the inertia of society, they don't matter as much as action. And, of course, getting somewhat back to my point, action is uncomfortable (especially if you don't like to exercise, like me!). Action means the possibility of tripping, of falling, of energy being wasted.
So how do you tell if you're just standing still, or if you're walking fast enough the opposite way?
Er. I wish I knew! If you do know, tell me the secret, and I will market it and sell it to people and steal all the profits!
More seriously, I figure, it can't hurt to ask some uncomfortable questions! I don't know if it works or not, but trying to move in the right direction is something. So ... uncomfortable questions for everyone!
Hey, if I've got to think about ninja icons, I demand on inflicting the same pain on everyone else ;).
Er, also, I'm not demanding answers from anyone, nor is it a way to make people not blog about a certain topic. I think there can be racist and anti-racist answers to each question. And, as emphasized above, these are uncomfortable questions that are meant to make you feel defensive, and they apply to white people and people of color alike (though they are hopefully aimed at racism as an institution).
I could probably go on for quite a bit ;). Lots of things make me uncomfortable!
I'm asking these questions not because the activities/posts mentioned in the questions themselves are somehow wrong or racist or irrelevant. I'm asking because these are the things that make me uncomfortable. And there are lots of answers, some of which are anti-racist, and some of which are not. For example, you could be not posting because you think people should blog about racism all the time. You could have nothing to say. You could want to listen to other people. You could have six million things to do in RL. You could think it's stupid. You could be giving any one of the above reasons but actually feel too guilty. You could not want to post but not want to be called racist and come up with other reasons. You could not want to derail the discussion to talk of whiteness. It could be anything, really, and it's up to you to decide if your answer is anti-racist or passively racist or actively racist. You could be trying to make an anti-racist point. You could be practicing aversive racism. I don't know.
For example, in the above link to comments on the ninja icon and being a Japanophile, I responded and let people know what race I was. I felt weird about this (and still do). Was I "pulling the race card"? Was I trying to wiggle out of being called an Asiaphile? Etc. Right now, I think yes, it is relevant in a discussion on race, particularly one in which the subject of Asiaphilia comes up (possibly not Japanophilia though, but I'm still thinking about that). But... I still don't know for sure. This is, by the way, not trying to get people to reassure me or whatnot, or tell me that I am or am not a Japanophile/Asiaphile/etc.
If I'm answering one of those questions and getting a nidgy feeling, then I figure there's probably some guilt or discomfort involved, something that indicates I'm not being entirely honest with myself. I don't know how it works for anyone else though. But I figured I'd toss it out there!
IBARW link round-up
(Insert standard disclaimer on not speaking for all POC, not being shining star of anti-racism, speaking from personal experience, being privileged in other ways, being US-centric, etc.)
PSA: If you're trying to be anti-racist, random anti-Semitism doesn't help!
se_parsons asks what would the un-racist society of the future look like?
My extremely facetious answer is: like my public library.
No, really.
No, really, I'm not just saying that because they let me borrow books.
I walked around there yesterday and noticed that almost everyone there was a person of color, and several of the white people I saw spoke other languages. POC were the majority, for once. There was a racial divide among the librarians; some were white, but most looked like they were East Asian. Almost all were women.
My ideal world wouldn't look like the Home Depot commercial I just saw, in which there was a black guy, an Asian guy, and a whole bunch of white guys. Yay token minorities.
Of course, I bet that my library looks the way it does because of the race-class divide where I live, which puts a huge damper on that whole ideal world idea.
I've seen several people post on their decision not to write entries for Intl. Blog Against Racism Week, which is cool. Some have mentioned that they're trying to listen, particularly to POC, which I really, really appreciate. I'm not sure if anyone wants to listen and still partcipate at the same time, or show support (and if not, that's perfectly fine!), but I was trying to think of good ways to do so if anyone did want to. So here's a thrown-together list, with the disclaimer that it's not meant to make people feel guilty about posting or not posting.
- Read all the posts being collected
- Find other blog entries on Intl. Blog Against Racism Week and add them to the link list
- Let other bloggers know you're reading their posts (haha! A shameless appeal for comments! Even though I'm woefully bad at replying to them...)
- Read up on Racism 101, if you want. Googling "white privilege" usually works, or "aversive racism." One favorite link I found today is How to Be a Real Nice Guy, which is more on men in feminist spaces, but applies to white people in POC spaces as well.
- Even if you're not speaking out, you can always post links to things that you've found thought-provoking. Or choose to highlight posts by POC. Or deliberately try and read anti-racist posts that make you very, very uncomfortable.
That's my small, IBARW-, internet-specific list so far! YMMV, of course!
With regard to identifying unconscious prejudices, I've found a good guideline for me is to see if something makes me uncomfortable, particularly if it's in that specific, nidgy, can't-quite-get-rid-of-it way that makes me want to not think about it. Not wanting to think about something, as demonstrated by making excuses in my head on why it's ok to not think about said thing, usually means I should think about it, but that I don't. Case in point: some of the comments to this post mention Japanophilia, the " ninja against racism" icon, and how Rock Lee in Naruto is a stereotype.
My very first instinct was "Bah! You lie! I am not a Japanophile! My icon in no way can be construed as racist! Naruto is not racist!" Of course, my very first instinct to people saying that being Asian in America mattered because even if you didn't self identify as such, other people would identify you as such, was "Bah! You lie! Watch me defy stereotypes!" My first instinct to POC saying they feel discriminated against is, unsurprisingly, "Bah! You lie! The system that I am a part of is a fair system! You are oversensitive!"
This is because, like so many other people, I want to believe that I am judged solely based on my own merit, that race and gender and age and sexual orientation and looks play nothing into things. I want to be able to enjoy things without having to stop and wonder if said thing is offensive to people who aren't me. Often, I can do this because I am doing so from a position of privilege. Sometimes, I can't. Sometimes, I don't want to admit that I can't because it means some of my agency is being taken away, because it means no matter what I do or what I think, people will still be judging me detrimentally because of my race or gender. Admitting this, admitting that it is an institution, admitting that it's something I can't magically change by force of will, that's difficult. It makes me feel powerless and angry. Naturally, the whole "playing the race/gender card" thing doesn't make admitting there is racism easier either. It's also easy for me to fall into the privileged worldview and denigrate my own sex or race unconsciously, because at least that way, there isn't the feeling of powerlessness.
From a privileged standpoint, I don't want my privilege pointed out because again, it means I'm not being judged by merit. It means maybe I didn't deserve what I ended up getting, not because I wasn't good, but because other people could have been better, but weren't given something because of their sexual orientation or age or class or handicap. I don't want to have my fun taken away from me. It's easier for me to understand why people are uncomfortable with the thought of privilege being taken away or questioned, so I'm writing less here that I did for unprivileged people to acknowledge their lack of privilege.
So with that in mind, the things that make me uncomfortable, that make me want to stand up and yell, "Bah! You lie! Go away and let me enjoy my things in peace!" - those are the very things that I should be paying attention to. If it turns out that I've given it a lot of thought and eventually decided it isn't true, without using any of the arguments outlined in How to Suppress Discussions of Racism, then that's fine. It's not like that extra bit of thought hurt me. If, however, I find myself saying things like, "But it's just an icon!" or "It wasn't intentionally racist!" or "You just don't get it! It's just a joke!" then I need to think about it some more.
My guess is, if anyone wants to be anti-racist, they're going to end up feeling uncomfortable. This is not the happy comfort of thinking that your parents always told you to treat people how you'd like to be treated. As a lot of people are saying already, racism is an institution. It's self-perpetuating. Beverly Tatum likens racism to one of those moving walkway things at the airport. Actively racist people walk forward on the walkway and go even faster. Passively racist people stand still on the walkway; they think they're not contributing, but they're still moving anyway. Anti-racist people walk backwards at a rate faster than that of the walkway, meaning they are actually going in the opposite direction. Anything less than that is racist. Walking takes effort. Walking at a rate that gets you going in the opposite direction is a lot of effort. And the walkway is always there, always moving people along.
By this definition, blogging against racism shouldn't just be a brief acknowledgement of what you've done. That's just walking in the other way a little, then stopping and letting the walkway move you forward again. It's not a look at your own stance on racism. It's an action that should be ongoing and continual. Stances matter, but in the long run, given the inertia of society, they don't matter as much as action. And, of course, getting somewhat back to my point, action is uncomfortable (especially if you don't like to exercise, like me!). Action means the possibility of tripping, of falling, of energy being wasted.
So how do you tell if you're just standing still, or if you're walking fast enough the opposite way?
Er. I wish I knew! If you do know, tell me the secret, and I will market it and sell it to people and steal all the profits!
More seriously, I figure, it can't hurt to ask some uncomfortable questions! I don't know if it works or not, but trying to move in the right direction is something. So ... uncomfortable questions for everyone!
Hey, if I've got to think about ninja icons, I demand on inflicting the same pain on everyone else ;).
Er, also, I'm not demanding answers from anyone, nor is it a way to make people not blog about a certain topic. I think there can be racist and anti-racist answers to each question. And, as emphasized above, these are uncomfortable questions that are meant to make you feel defensive, and they apply to white people and people of color alike (though they are hopefully aimed at racism as an institution).
- What point are you trying to make if you're blogging about your childhood experiences with racism?
- What point are you trying to make if you're figuring out how many POC are in your icons/books/fic?
- Why are you telling people you aren't racist/don't know anyone racist/have enlightened parents/live in an enlightened and racially diverse area?
- What are your reasons for talking about/to white people?
- Why are you recounting an experience with a POC who is your friend/spouse/significant other/family member/neighbor/co-worker/random person?
- Why are you writing about POC prejudice against other POCs?
- Why are you mentioning the time you felt discriminated against?
- Why are you saying you've never felt discriminated against?
- Are you trying to justify something that someone else has termed racial discrimination?
- Why are you posting about the time you felt guilty?
- Why are you questioning the focus on race instead of gender/class/sexual orientation/age/ability/religion/all prejudice?
- Why are you angry?
- Why aren't you angry?
- Why are you uncomfortable?
- Why aren't you uncomfortable?
- Are you only linking to/reading/commenting on posts by white people?
- Why are you doing a headcount of POC in your school/workplace/neighborhood/community/church?
- Why are you talking about the time you saw someone being racially discriminated against?
- Why are you posting/commenting?
- Why are you not posting/commenting?
- Why are you mentioning your own race/gender/class/sexual orientation/age/ethnicity/religion?
- Are you being more hostile to posts by white people?
- Are you being more hostile to posts by POC?
- Are you being defensive?
- Are you overcompensating? For what?
I could probably go on for quite a bit ;). Lots of things make me uncomfortable!
I'm asking these questions not because the activities/posts mentioned in the questions themselves are somehow wrong or racist or irrelevant. I'm asking because these are the things that make me uncomfortable. And there are lots of answers, some of which are anti-racist, and some of which are not. For example, you could be not posting because you think people should blog about racism all the time. You could have nothing to say. You could want to listen to other people. You could have six million things to do in RL. You could think it's stupid. You could be giving any one of the above reasons but actually feel too guilty. You could not want to post but not want to be called racist and come up with other reasons. You could not want to derail the discussion to talk of whiteness. It could be anything, really, and it's up to you to decide if your answer is anti-racist or passively racist or actively racist. You could be trying to make an anti-racist point. You could be practicing aversive racism. I don't know.
For example, in the above link to comments on the ninja icon and being a Japanophile, I responded and let people know what race I was. I felt weird about this (and still do). Was I "pulling the race card"? Was I trying to wiggle out of being called an Asiaphile? Etc. Right now, I think yes, it is relevant in a discussion on race, particularly one in which the subject of Asiaphilia comes up (possibly not Japanophilia though, but I'm still thinking about that). But... I still don't know for sure. This is, by the way, not trying to get people to reassure me or whatnot, or tell me that I am or am not a Japanophile/Asiaphile/etc.
If I'm answering one of those questions and getting a nidgy feeling, then I figure there's probably some guilt or discomfort involved, something that indicates I'm not being entirely honest with myself. I don't know how it works for anyone else though. But I figured I'd toss it out there!
IBARW link round-up