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Jan 25, 2013 14:01

I just saw the news that valerie_z has passed away. Oh man.

I never knew her in person, but I was an avid reader of her LJ when I first got into Buffy in college. In many ways, she helped save my life. She used to post frequently and at length about depression, and it was largely due to those posts that I managed to figure out that that was what was happening to me. And if she hadn't been so open about it, it probably would have taken me years more to acknowledge that my depression was depression, not just a bout, not just me being lazy and weak and sucky. I didn't gather the courage to go to therapy until a year or two later, but she played a huge part in my beginning to normalize depression instead of pretending it didn't exist, and I am so grateful she chose to talk about it online. The combination of personal and fannish Buffy talk on her LJ was a big factor in getting me to sign up.

I also loved reading her because she made me laugh, because she liked Dawn, because she talked about vidding. I still have one of her Dawn vids ("When I Grow Up") saved on my computer, downloaded from when she first posted it.

My thoughts are with her friends and family.

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fandom, depression

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